# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 292
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2025, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6123 "2025-12-29T14:31:41Z")
Like that totally real “17 year old” who came in and started a thread soliciting advice for how to prepare for her totally real 30-day jail sentence. And if memory serves, we currently have a “totally real” 14 year old who seems compelled to mention their age in every thread, just to let you know they’re totally real. And 14. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2025, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6124 "2025-12-29T16:09:24Z")
[![](https://platform.theverge.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/8846551/Screen_Shot_2017_07_13_at_1.09.20_PM.png) ](https://platform.theverge.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/chorus/uploads/chorus_asset/file/8846551/Screen_Shot_2017_07_13_at_1.09.20_PM.png) ---
**Author:** ![echoreply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/echoreply/32/3641_2.png) [@echoreply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/echoreply)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2025, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6125 "2025-12-29T18:50:38Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > It’s very unlikely that someone that young would seek out an old school message board for general life advice Someone that age is much more likely to turn to ChatGPT or character.ai for life advice. About the only way I’d start off on the “believing it’s real” side is (tip for future trolls) if they specifically mention they’re here to talk to real people instead of AI. On the other hand, my 12 year old likes to hangout on Pinterest and tumblr, also places not really known for their youth culture. I ducked out of that thread after reading half of the original post, because I’m too tired from having the same argument irl. (Of course here “too strict” often means “won’t drive me 1 mile to my friends house even though I have perfectly working legs and an electric bicycle.”) ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6126 "2025-12-30T00:07:52Z")
I ducked our after reading half of the initial post because i thought it was a troll. 🤷‍♀️ The 14 year old was banned when they initially posted because they were too young, and returned after plausibly meeting the age requirement. I think they are real. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6127 "2025-12-30T00:13:22Z")
How they found this place is a mystery, but then, it’s equally a mystery regardless of whether they’re a legit teenager or a troll. So it’s no evidence one way or the other. ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6128 "2025-12-30T00:25:27Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > How they found this place is a mystery What if they’ve always been here? A ghost, haunting this forum like a malodorous article of clothing??? ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6129 "2025-12-30T19:10:45Z")
> [@ASL\_v2.0](#): > > like a malodorous article of clothing??? I mean, sure, well done… you have identified a male teenager’s sock. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6130 "2025-12-30T19:21:35Z")
> [@scudsucker](#): > > I mean, sure, well done… you have identified a male teenager’s sock. …which has most definitely given up the ghost in some cases. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6131 "2025-12-30T20:14:52Z")
What I’m thinking is they are a student fulfilling an assignment for content creation storytelling and engagement. Find an online community and drive interactions. List was provided by the course instructor. Like the Yalies who wrote and tried to punk Dear Abby and her readers. Am I remembering that correctly? ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6132 "2025-12-30T20:37:16Z")
Brand-new poster **Cobi** just joined 45 minutes ago to grace our presence and regale us with the tale of how he was caught masturbating, by reviving a 12-year dormant thread on the subject. Turns out, he was spied in the forest by a young woman who was so impressed that she invited him back to her house to continue the proceedings. It’s amazing how new joins, whether 14 years old like the previous one, or this new one, are always so full of incredibly fascinating tales. What a world they must inhabit! ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6133 "2025-12-30T20:40:39Z")
The crucial question is: why should someone masturbate in a forest? Ok, if you’re out camping and you feel the need, but then please seek the privacy of your tent. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6134 "2025-12-30T20:49:42Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Like the Yalies who wrote and tried to punk Dear Abby and her readers. Am I remembering that correctly? As an avid DA fan back in the day, I remember that. To my recollection, the Yalies were her former classmates. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6135 "2025-12-30T22:09:38Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > The crucial question is: why should someone masturbate in a forest? Because if nobody is there to hear it, it doesn’t make a sound. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6136 "2025-12-30T22:18:15Z")
> [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > The crucial question is: why should someone masturbate in a forest? Maybe they have a dryad fixation. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6137 "2025-12-30T22:20:26Z")
A forest is a great place to get wood… ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6138 "2025-12-30T22:22:20Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > > > The crucial question is: why should someone masturbate in a forest? > > Because if nobody is there to hear it, it doesn’t make a sound. But what if he’d use both hands for the deed? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6139 "2025-12-30T22:29:52Z")
What’s the sound of one hand fapping? ---
**Author:** ![Meatwater](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meatwater/32/20074_2.png) [@Meatwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatwater)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6140 "2025-12-30T22:29:57Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Maybe they have a dryad fixation. Bout to call me _Father_ Nature ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6141 "2025-12-30T22:46:47Z")
The kids call it pineconin’. (Not really, though who knows these days, maybe they actually do.) ---
**Author:** ![Zoobi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/13edae/32.png) [@Zoobi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoobi)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2025, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/6142 "2025-12-30T23:06:20Z")
It reminds me of a poem by Poet Laureate of the West, Dalton Wilcox: > A cowboy is a lonesome man > > There’s none more lonesome in the land > > He rides atop his only friend > > His horse, a companion on whom he can depend > > His woman may be miles behind him > > Sadness and desperation may find him > > But a cowboy who’s wise will turn to the earth > > To lend him solace and even mirth > > The earth from which all beauty springs > > Such bounty forth she always brings > > He’ll dig a hole with cracked, scorched hands > > Pour in all the water that hole demands > > Until that earth is moist, just right > > The earth’ll never put up any kind of a fight > > His cries of joy no one will hear > > In case I am not being clear > > I’m saying that cowboy is going to fuck a hole in the ground > > We all do it, that’s what I have found > > Any cowboy that knows that lonesome hell > > Can fashion a land virginny well > > If a cowboy’s seed worked like other seeds > > There’d be cowboys growing across the plains like weeds [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=291) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=293)