# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 57
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1121 "2024-02-20T20:40:22Z")
> [@mjmartin](#): > > I have little or no opinion on Beck. I think she’s wrong on this issue. I think she’s been told she’s wrong many, many times. If she had gotten a warning or more for what she wrote, I wouldn’t have said a thing. I don’t like seeing a person laying on the ground being kicked. And that what this feels like. ⁢ I don’t think that’s a fair analogy when she’s still being just as abusive. And I don’t think it makes sense for you to try and shame everyone else for abusive behavior but ignore hers. That said, I do understand that desire to defend the person like that. Thing is, I think Beck is counting on that as a way to avoid having to take accountability. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1122 "2024-02-20T20:42:07Z")
Well Said. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1123 "2024-02-20T20:42:45Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > That is up to @Miller, but I think it is a sound idea. Anyone is of course free to start a new thread dedicated to **Beck** , but they’re also free to keep hashing it out here if they prefer. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1124 "2024-02-20T20:43:09Z")
If I’m told to stop. I will. I’ve privately been told to stop. I probably should. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1125 "2024-02-20T20:43:44Z")
Sounds good. Thank you. Less work for me anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1126 "2024-02-20T20:45:01Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > I’m telling you how I read your post and why I pushed back at it. So it goes. Right–but I’m not convinced that anyone else (with the possible exception of Beck, who has the reading comprehension of a blind parakeet) is reading it the same way. So I’m pushing back on your misunderstanding of what I’m saying. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1127 "2024-02-20T20:45:05Z")
@BigT, I am not abusing anyone. Quit saying that. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1128 "2024-02-20T20:45:33Z")
That’s right, BigT, get in your place! And stop having an opinion! /beckimpersonation ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1129 "2024-02-20T20:47:00Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > > [@Pleonast](#): > > > > I’m telling you how I read your post and why I pushed back at it. So it goes. > > Right–but I’m not convinced that anyone else (with the possible exception of Beck, who has the reading comprehension of a blind parakeet) is reading it the same way. So I’m pushing back on your misunderstanding of what I’m saying. Yep. I do accept your explanation of your intent. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1130 "2024-02-20T20:47:12Z")
Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1131 "2024-02-20T20:47:38Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > @BigT, I am not abusing anyone. Quit saying that. ⁢ I was using MJ’s own words. That’s usually easier than trying to get into semantic arguments. I do agree that abuse is not the best word. But you are being just as shitty to others as they are being to you. And you did attack me, when I has been going out of my way not to attack you. Literally anyone else would already be on my ignore list by now. Though, at this point, I am genuinely worried you are a lost cause. You said you were going to stop, and so I thought maybe I or someone else had gotten through to you to at least stop making things worse. As you yourself have said before, you have to realize when to stop digging. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1132 "2024-02-20T20:51:29Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I do not hate men. I hate men who try and tell me how to be. I’ve lived with that thru my life. I do not like it. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/agvibm7Wqy4/maxresdefault.jpg "Kid Rock - Don't Tell Me How To Live (Official Video) - ft. Monster Truck") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agvibm7Wqy4) ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1133 "2024-02-20T20:54:36Z")
> [@mjmartin](#): > > This would get your teeth knocked in 100% of the time, anywhere a person with half an ounce of decency heard it. People with half an ounce of decency don’t knock other people’s teeth in over words. There, now I’ve probably managed to piss off both sides of that discussion. – having thought about it, I have a set of opinions of my own: If pornography is defined as “work intended to be sexually arousing”, then: There does exist pornography which is harmful to neither the producers nor the consumers; of whatever gender. There also exists pornography which is harmful to the producers and/or the consumers, of various genders, in one or more of the following ways: Some of the producers are being forced to do the work, either by physical force or by having no other way to make necessary money. The work itself depicts abusive behavior and may encourage consumers to act likewise. The work depicts seriously unrealistic behavior to people who may take it as realistic, thereby harming both them and any partners they may have by causing unrealistic expectations. In this society there is unfortunately probably a hell of a lot more of the latter than of the former. A society which fully accepted the former would probably get significantly more of the former; maybe more of the former than the latter. This is one of the reasons why dissing the former is IMO a bad idea; as is insisting that any form of sexually arousing material must be the latter. (The other reason it’s a bad idea is that it’s hard on the people producing the former.) And here’s a kicker: it can be really hard for the consumer to tell whether they’re buying/watching the former or the latter. Case in point: I watched Deep Throat many many years ago with some friends of mine. We thought it was the former, and we also thought it was funny – that nobody would take the unrealistic parts seriously. I found out some years later that we’d been watching, and laughing at, an extended rape. Leaves kind of a bad taste in the mind. People who are watching porn: try and be careful what you’re getting, OK? – Beck, would you by any chance like to back down a step and say that your definition of the word only means the second kind, and you acknowledge the existence of the first? I’ve seen some people distinguish between “pornography” and “erotica”; but I’ve seen others use “pornography” for both, and seen an occasional thing described as “erotica” that I thought was the first. > [@BigT](#): > > And it also disheartens me that @thorny_locust got on board with defending her, too. The other defenders were unfortunately expected—well except I didn’t know they still posted here. > > And not you. You I don’t know. But you are severely underplaying the issue with Beck, and having a double standard when it comes to abuse. I suspect you just like Beck, but I ask you to take a step back and pretend it was someone else, and make it about some bigotry you care deeply about. Three things: One, see just above. Two, I think Beck’s more likely to change her mind if she’s attacked less. Three, a lot of the attacking going on in this thread doesn’t seem to me to be about that issue. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1134 "2024-02-20T20:54:44Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > attention seeking narcissist FWIW, “attention junkie” or “attention addict” seems to work equally well. I mean I suppose a person could complain about stigmatizing substance abuse disorders, but not even I am that fussy. I also don’t even care about the attention-seeking part. It’s the grotesque, hypocritical, stupid advocacy of repressive policy, coupled with ugly attacks on anyone who disagrees, that gets up my nose. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1135 "2024-02-20T20:56:15Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > [BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bigt), I am not abusing anyone. Quit saying that I guess someone hacked your account to make all the posts where yoy accused men of only disagreeing with you because they are pathetic wankers who can’t find anyone to sleep with them? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1136 "2024-02-20T20:56:17Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > – having thought about it, I have a set of opinions of my own: This is all something I could sign onto, and I think you said it really well. Thank you! ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1137 "2024-02-20T20:57:29Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > People with half an ounce of decency don’t knock other people’s teeth in over words. Disagree. Somethings cross a line. Denigrating a grandmother by talking about whether she had anal sex with her husband is well over that line. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1138 "2024-02-20T21:00:20Z")
I like _ **attention junkie** _, I’ll use that until the next language shift. Now I have to remember it for the next time I need it. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1139 "2024-02-20T21:01:32Z")
> [@mjmartin](#): > > Disagree. Somethings cross a line. Denigrating a grandmother by talking about whether she had anal sex with her husband is well over that line. Hopefully this is just tour internet tough guy persona speaking, because if you act that way in real life, holy shit you’re pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![mjmartin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3d9bf3/32.png) [@mjmartin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mjmartin)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2024, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1140 "2024-02-20T21:02:45Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > because if you act that way in real life, holy shit you’re pathetic. I absolutely feel the same way about many that have posted today. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=56) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=58)