# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 62
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1221 "2024-02-21T15:47:08Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Dibble’s was particularly outside what I’ve seen as norms. Even for him. Cool, so just to be crystal clear, we are moving the goal posts completely away from your prior claims of _violence_, yes? Now, please explain why “you oppose porn because it made your husband ask for anal” in the Pit is so much worse than “you support porn workers because you’re a pathetic loser who cannot get laid” _outside the Pit_? ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1222 "2024-02-21T15:57:31Z")
YMMV but I read that imagery as meant to be violent and read it as such. You think that is fine Pit level. Okay. Probably you know better than I do. It certainly is allowable. Within rules. To the degree that Beck insulted outside the Pit (honestly I mostly skipped her posts as it was clear they were just repeating the same position over again) well maybe they should have been reported and moderated as insulting a poster outside the Pit is against our rules. Did you report that behavior? If not why not if it bothered you so much? Why no mod action for personal insults if that is what she did? ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1223 "2024-02-21T16:00:32Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > YMMV but I read that imagery as meant to be violent and read it as such. What the fuck are you talking about? What kind of fucked up warped worldview leads you to believe that? ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1224 "2024-02-21T16:04:21Z")
Yeah, quote the offending post. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1225 "2024-02-21T16:04:26Z")
I know. It really wasn’t addressed to you. ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1226 "2024-02-21T16:14:17Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > YMMV but I read that imagery as meant to be violent and read it as such. You seem to be conflating anal sex with rape, which is kind of messed up. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1227 "2024-02-21T16:53:19Z")
To me this bit was … quite explicitly … implying a traumatic painful and violent experience. > [@MrDibble](#): > > whatever porn-related trauma happened to you. Clearly _something_ personal did. Maybe if that Hustler had mentioned lube alongside the piledriver shots, you wouldn’t still be butthurt over it. But sure gets your collective knickers in a knot or whether “slut shaming” or “attention whoring” is too much misogyny but thumbs up on the backwoods hick shaming Deliverance imagery. I accept that your take is different than mine. You’re getting your “what the fuck flying” is … amusing. No need to go back and forth over it. Keep on kicking on! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1228 "2024-02-21T17:02:52Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > But sure gets your collective knickers in a knot or whether “slut shaming” or “attention whoring” is too much misogyny but thumbs up on the backwoods hick shaming Deliverance imagery. Today I learned that only backwoods hicks have anal sex. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1229 "2024-02-21T17:05:31Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > But dang doing a Clockwork Orange reenactment is a bit above and beyond. The _fuck_ you talking about? Nobody’s said anything about bashing in someone’s head with a dildo or rape-murder or anything even remotely CO-adjacent. Just lubeless anal. And in a consensual context. Not exactly always _pleasant_, and a dumb way to do it (I know, I’ve been on the receiving \*ahem\* _end_ before), but hardly murder-by-gang-rape. And everyone seems to blithely skip over the _first_ of my examples of porn-related harm. I guess it’s no surprise butt stuff icks people out more than withdrawing from sex does. > [@Stanislaus](#): > > Have you considered shutting the fuck up and letting this whole depressing and objectionable cycle grind to a halt? Oh, yeah, the ignore button, that’s exactly what worked for **shodan** and **YWTF** and **SlackerInc** and every other objectionable turd who shit in the pool here… > [@DSeid](#): > > Even for him. It’s perfectly in line with how I’ve historically responded to truly odious people. Ask Steophan the Teddy Fucker how much I hold back… > [@Miller](#): > > Today I learned that only backwoods hicks have anal sex. TIL I’ve secretly been a backwoods hick since high school…\* _\* not counting the even earlier nonconsensual times._ ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1230 "2024-02-21T17:07:18Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@DSeid](#): > > > > But sure gets your collective knickers in a knot or whether “slut shaming” or “attention whoring” is too much misogyny but thumbs up on the backwoods hick shaming Deliverance imagery. > > Today I learned that only backwoods hicks have anal sex Yeah - my mind went to the (I thought) very common meme where like, a guy asks his wife for anal sex on his birthday. @DSeid’s mind went to a notoriously horrific rape scene. But sure, _we_ are the messed up ones here. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1231 "2024-02-21T17:09:42Z")
I didn’t bother to quote the whole post. Feel free to read the rest of it. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1232 "2024-02-21T17:11:29Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Yeah - my mind went to the (I thought) very common meme where like, a guy asks his wife for anal sex on his birthday. > > @DSeid’s mind went to a notoriously horrific rape scene. > > But sure, _we_ are the messed up ones here. It was pretty explicitly mocking someone for supposedly being traumatized by injurious sex. Not fair turnabout, even though it was responding to something pretty obnoxious. Real hot take here: mocking someone with nasty insinuations about their sex life is never gonna be great, even if they start it. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1233 "2024-02-21T17:13:08Z")
It’s not just the “she started it” in a “she was objectionable first” sense, it’s “she kept bringing up that _ **exact** _ subject herself” in her posts on porn. I was just a lot more graphic than Tree Trunks was. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1234 "2024-02-21T17:18:42Z")
Okay you are wanting to read “trauma” and unlubricated piledrivers making one butthurt inspired by finding a Hustler in the woods shoot I’ b’ar as a gentle loving urbane act. No hick mocking. No violence. Not much use in continued discussion. I know some here are not better than that but I had a different opinion of some. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1235 "2024-02-21T17:26:33Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Okay you are wanting to read “trauma” and unlubricated piledrivers making one butthurt inspired by finding a Hustler in the woods shoot I’ b’ar as a gentle loving urbane act. No hick mocking. No violence. You think a clueless couple having consensual anal sex without lube is an example of _violence_? That’s pretty idiotic. Obviously MrDibble’s post was derogatory and offensive. It’s the Pit, that’s what we are here for. But describing it as particularly horrifying or violent, especially in light of Beck’s own repeated posts along the same exact lines, is pretty stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1236 "2024-02-21T17:33:32Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > Obviously MrDibble’s post was derogatory and offensive. It’s the Pit, that’s what we are here for. But describing it as particularly horrifying or violent, especially in light of Beck’s own repeated posts along the same exact lines, is pretty stupid. The problem is being as grotesque as the poster being pitted is self defeating. Everyone else seems to be able to pit @Beckdawrek without lowering themselves to that level. @MrDibble could do it too, but chose not to. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1237 "2024-02-21T17:34:02Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > No hick mocking. Oh, no, I _was_ hick-mocking, all right. But that was the shootin’ b’ar part\*, not the buttfucking. I tend to think of _that_ as a civilized, sophisticated act of the bathhouse and the club backroom. I’ve never even _seen_ Deliverance. I only know it by cultural osmosis (Burt Reynolds, Blech!) > [@DSeid](#): > > Okay you are wanting to read “trauma” Note that the descriptive “porn-related trauma” was applied _ **equally** _ to the buttsex _ **and** _ the withdrawing all sex. Trauma =/= violence. \* and was _also_ a nod to her shitting in the brown bear thread in FQ. Multitasking, I has it. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1238 "2024-02-21T17:43:34Z")
-coughs- Okay, now that I have your attention, first I wanted to apologize for not being part of my own thread, personal, IRL health reasons applying to my family members are eating into my reading and posting time right now. So, quite omnibus response on the hi(low)-lights of the last few hundred posts. 1. @Beckdawrek - I don’t believe you’re a troll. I do believe you’ve made quite a few recent posts (both of which topics have been mentioned in this thread) that show a real lack of understanding, or, more likely, an unchallenged mindset that the way it was in your area, when you were growing up was and should be the norm. No one denies your right to have an opinion, but there are those who are going to hold you accountable for it. And I disagree strongly with it as quoted, but respect your right to have it. Regarding other Beck related issues, yes, she wants attention. As do most of us to one degree or other (otherwise we’d be muttering to ourselves!). Heck, I became a poster instead of a lurker because with COVID I was cut off from a LOT of interaction. But I also agree that Beck has been posting more, in a wider variety of threads, with decidedly mixed results. A word of advice to Beck - I’ve been well served (especially in FQ and GD) to write a post and then look at it and ask myself, did it serve any purpose? Or was it just for saying something/scoring points? Last piece of constructive criticism for Beck - there are (IMHO) three great sins that will get you counterattacked on the SDMB (not just the Pit). Claiming absolutes (everyone, always, in-all-cases, and similar language) - there’s almost always (see! hedging it again) exceptions, POV, and special circumstances. Claiming uniformity on behalf of yourself or others never turns out well. Second is calling something a joke after the fact. If you truly mean this on anything more controversial than preferred/verboten pizza toppings, it’s absolutely best to mention that in the post itself (our frequent use of /sarcasm being a key example). Third, and I call it the “Sam\_Stone” defense, is to claim that everyone is attacking you for… reasons… when they explicitly say WHY they’re attacking you. And you’ve commited all three of these cardinal board sins in the thread. Not to mention, just like S\_S, you keep jumping in trying to defend yourself and do so in a way that makes it much worse. It’s a lot easier to take the criticism, consider it, and let it die down. Okay, criticism is done, and now a touch of defense. I know that there are those who do not like Beck’s habits, folkisms, or scattershot posting styles. But I do think they’re an honest person, with flaws, just like the rest of us. I will point to the yeomanship support and organization she put forth in keeping us in the know and inovlved with @dropzone’s final health issues and passing. No, one moment of grace doesn’t give you a lifetime of immunity from criticism, but as is often the case in the pit, we can forget the good when focussing on the flaws. (that was a book, sorry, the others will be short). 1. The Other Waldo Pepper is a troll, he had of course been mentioned repeatedly in the parent thread, and deserves his own thread (perhaps has one?). 2. @wolfpup - The last constructive criticism point I mentioned about Beck requires people to NOT throw more gas on the fire with an impassioned defense right when it’s calmed down. NOTE - I didn’t use the term White Knighting, nor do I think that was your intent. But throwing around righteous indignation and hyperbole did neither yourself nor Beck any good. It just fanned the flames and splashed back on you. Discussing things as rationally as possible when emotions aren’t high works better! @DSeid - Most of what I said to Wolfpup applies to your recent posts as well. Let’s all dial it back for a few hours / days, and try to at least assume that everyone is posting their feelings in good faith unless proven otherwise. 1. And that’s the last point. This thread is ultimately for _saveable_ posters. Which, for all the complaints I just mentioned, IMHO applies to you all. It may be a back-handed compliment, but the fact that people bring you to task here, rather than put out a dedicated Pit thread for you or ignore, means they think you can be saved. If any of the posters feel that it isn’t the case for any mentioned poster, then it’s time for them to open up a dedicated pit thread for the poster. Thanks for your time all. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1239 "2024-02-21T18:19:13Z")
I had been sympathetic, if disagreeing, with your viewpoint in the teacher porn thread, **Beck** , but then you started claiming this: > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > S. No slut shaming on my part. Reread. That’s bullshit. In that thread, you said > [@How do we feel about teachers fired for posting homemade porn?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-feel-about-teachers-fired-for-posting-homemade-porn/994614/510): > > She wants more money. Why? To pay off those student loans. > > Yeah, right. > Ok. Drive that Mercedes baby. Right down to the Post office to mail that check to your loan company. and > [@](#): > > Her porn career will fit right in with her drug use. and > [@How do we feel about teachers fired for posting homemade porn?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-do-we-feel-about-teachers-fired-for-posting-homemade-porn/994614/542): > > The teacher needs to quit saying she did it, oh poor me, to pay off her school loans. > She did it for the big money. That’s all. She can buy any damn thing she wants. How much money did her Only Fans account earn her? What drugs does she take? What year is her Mercedes? You seem to know. _This_ is what is meant by slut-shaming. You could have simply expressed your opinion, said why you thought porn is dangerous, and that you agreed with the school board, and that would have been unassailable. You’d have gotten some reasoned arguments, probably. But you instead started using a deeply contemptuous tone to this woman (while ignoring the other teacher, who did not “admit her guilt” by resigning: the OP’s story concerned _two_ teachers who were making OF vids), and worse, asserting facts about her circumstances, income, and motivations that you could not possibly know. I think you’re a generally decent poster, **Beck** , but you showed your ass in that thread. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2024, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1240 "2024-02-21T18:45:20Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > It’s the Pit, that’s what we are here for. One small pedantic response. It is _allowed_ here. It is not necessarily what all of us are here for. Otherwise your opinion is noted. No response indicated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=61) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=63)