# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/121 "2023-11-09T10:33:51Z")
Ugh, I hope I was never fooled by one of his socks. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/122 "2023-11-09T10:41:45Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Somehow, he thinks it is cowardly for me to do so. Wait, it’s cowardly to be open about PMs, but it’s _not_ cowardly to scold people in PMs rather than an open forum like the Pit? This must be what the other side of the mirror feels like. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/123 "2023-11-09T11:39:53Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > If you wanna hear from him he’s posting somewhere in the jungle. Technically that’d be the savannah where the long nekkers congregate. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/124 "2023-11-09T11:49:21Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > This must be what the other side of the mirror feels like. Every conversation with him feels like being talked at by a character from Wonderland. There’s zero chance I want to have those conversations in private. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/125 "2023-11-09T11:59:40Z")
He’s one of the posters where I can have perfectly interactions in Cafe, but as soon as anything turns even vaguely political, he turns into this Mirror Universe dick, like you say. I get that it’s often because we have diametrically opposite views on things like e.g freedom of speech or Whiteness, but I disagree on that with _most_ people, and yet only have that kind of antagonistic vibe from some. So glad I’m not the one getting PMs from him, though. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/126 "2023-11-09T12:05:09Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > But who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Well, I do of course (having worked in a prison for 20 years). But who else? The Shadow, d’uh! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/127 "2023-11-09T12:05:37Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > So glad I’m not the one getting PMs from him, though. Oooh… I’m intrigued! Can you share? ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/128 "2023-11-09T12:08:24Z")
WE said there was only one disappeared sock post before he was smitten. So sounds like limited opportunity for sock trickery. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/129 "2023-11-09T12:09:08Z")
I think you misread - I’m not getting PMs from him, **LHOD** is. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/130 "2023-11-09T12:11:36Z")
Oops, my brain inserted an “only” in there, for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/131 "2023-11-09T12:28:22Z")
Well that’s good to know. Thanks. I feel bad for any new posters we might get. They’ll be suspect for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/132 "2023-11-09T17:29:38Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Every conversation with him feels like being talked at by a character from Wonderland. There’s zero chance I want to have those conversations in private. I’ve only ever taken a disagreement to PMs a few times, and I can’t say it ever ended well. In some cases I thought it would be better to approach the person rather than call them out in public - they were no more willing to listen than if I had just posted on the board. A couple times someone would just send me something angry, unprompted, and nothing I said mattered. But I try not to share the content of other people’s PMs with the board at large; it’s kind of a separate realm. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/133 "2023-11-09T17:41:52Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I’ve only ever taken a disagreement to PMs a few times, and I can’t say it ever ended well. In some cases I thought it would be better to approach the person rather than call them out in public - they were no more willing to listen than if I had just posted on the board. I don’t use PMs very much at all. When I’ve used them, they’ve fallen into a few categories: 1. Most commonly, someone sends me a kind word about something I said, or asks a question about something I said. Those are real nice to get. 2. Sometimes, someone wants to clarify something–maybe we seemed to be in a big disagreement, and they’re like, “Hey, let’s bring it down, can we chat?” These have generally been productive, and we’ve been able to resolve things. 3. A few different weirdos have decided to harass me. One toxic alcoholic retired teacher would periodically PM me with something like “Hey princess, panties in a twist again?” or whatever. Another got real mad when I doubted some of his stories about his mom and got all chest-puffy and ordered me never to doubt anything about his mom. (These happened 10+ years ago so I’m working from memory here). It’s that last category that I feel fine talking about in public, because it’s not an attempt to have good communication; it’s just a weird harassy/bully thing. I think it depends on happening in private, so I’m happy to take it public. The two PMs I got aren’t completely in the “Hey princess” category, but they’re a lot closer to that than they are to an honest attempt at exchange of ideas–especially the second one. I have no interest in that nonsense, nor in protecting the privacy of anyone who engages in it. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/134 "2023-11-09T17:44:44Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Most commonly, someone sends me a kind word about something I said, or asks a question about something I said. Those are real nice to get. Yes, I get those too. It is always nice to hear from people. Especially when I’ve done something to stick my neck out, I’m feeling a bit insecure about it, and they are like, “Hey, thanks.” Totally makes my day. Mostly good people here. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/135 "2023-11-09T18:58:33Z")
I’ve used PMs 2-3 times, but specifically more along the lines of the reason I created the thread - seeing someone that looked like they were heading over the edge in a thread and wanted to pull them back. The first time, was relatively early in my posting history, and a few months later, the poster I was trying to save was revealed as a trock. Something I can more clearly see in hindsight. Mea culpa. The other two times were with posters that I like and felt were getting too damn heated in the threads in question (both threads were contentious and there was personal emotional involvement) and I was worried that both were going to type something that would do them no favors. And both replied with words along the lines that they had just reached the point of exiting the threads for the exact same reasons anyway, but appreciated the note. Of course, they may have just been nice to me as an annoying busybody, but, hey, I’ll take fake kindness! 😆 But overall, the only PMs I have with any regularity are the ones from the Mods from my hideous flagging habit! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/136 "2023-11-09T19:10:43Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Especially when I’ve done something to stick my neck out, I’m feeling a bit insecure about it, and they are like, “Hey, thanks.” Totally makes my day. Mostly good people here. I’ve said it before, but in case insecurity’s popping up again: you’re one of the most reliably insightful posters here, smart and levelheaded and more interested in discussion than fighting. Even when I don’t always agree with you, I know I’ll learn something from what you write. I appreciate your posts! ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/137 "2023-11-09T19:13:56Z")
FYI, **Sam\_Stone** ’s ban has been lifted. Very little explanation in the official post here but a lot of it was hashed out on the Giraffe Boards. Long story short: Sam’s son, who lives in the same household, made the account that made the one post and conclusions were jumped. Presumably that account (@burn) will be unbanned as well. > [@Sam\_Stone has been banned for socking \[Update - The ban has been lifted\]](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sam-stone-has-been-banned-for-socking-update-the-ban-has-been-lifted/992756/3): > > After reviewing Sam’s explanation and the available evidence, the ban has been lifted. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/138 "2023-11-09T19:15:27Z")
You couldn’t say that in a PM ? You heartless bastard !!! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/139 "2023-11-09T19:18:34Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > You heartless bastard !!! What can I say? I’m a coward. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2023, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/140 "2023-11-09T19:35:15Z")
What’s up with the first-time poster trolls who revive a years-old zombie thread with some random pointless and stupid comment? It seems like it’s happening more and more often lately. Yesterday I flagged a comment in a ‘Battlestar Galactica sucks’ thread dating from 2011. It was from a username reading something like ‘WillCleanCumOffLater’ and just said “OP you’re a stupid dumb dumb with terrible taste”. Is it just teenagers surfing the web who come across old posts by chance, and decide to do a drive-by trolling, or is there something weirder or more insidious going on? It _ **was** _ kind of funny seeing the Discourse auto message: “This is the first time **WillCleanCumOffLater** has posted - let’s welcome them to our board!”. I declined to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=8)