# What were you THINKING? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 13, 2023, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532 "2023-10-13T19:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 79
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1561 "2024-02-29T17:26:22Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Wasn’t that the default with the port over from vBulletin? I think a lot of users are set to hidden. This thread certainly implies it. > [@"This user's public profile is hidden."](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/this-users-public-profile-is-hidden/913834): > > So someone opens a thread, which I read. But then I’m curious about what other threads they started, what posts they’ve made, how long they’ve been on the board and so forth but clicking on their name results in a message, “This user’s public profile is hidden.” No information is available about the poster. Can this be changed? And there was a suggestion in that thread as to why it happens to some people and not others: > The preference may have been carried over from vBulletin, where I think I deliberately opted not to display whether I was online but you could still see past posts and threads. So depending on a person’s profile preferences in vBulletin, it may have tried to reproduce those by hiding a person’s profile here on Discourse. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1562 "2024-02-29T18:11:46Z")
How do I know if my profile is hidden? Never mind, I learned how to hide it if I so wish. Useful info, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1563 "2024-02-29T18:17:31Z")
> [@Pleonast](#): > > But why is _your_ profile hidden? That’s one of the warning signs of a troublesome poster, because it takes an extra step to ignore them. I have no idea! and sorry for the moderated post, I was recognizing that I needed to stop interacting with him and that was why. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1564 "2024-02-29T18:20:04Z")
Now, I’m worried that my profile is hidden. How do I know? ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1565 "2024-02-29T18:22:17Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I’m worried that my profile is hidden. How do I know? With my tech peasant level of skills, it appears to me that your profile is NOT hidden. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1566 "2024-02-29T18:23:35Z")
Oh Fraptious day! Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1567 "2024-02-29T18:29:20Z")
I found a box to uncheck and now my profile shouldn’t be hidden. so y’all can block me more easily! ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1568 "2024-02-29T18:32:29Z")
I can’t even find the place under preferences to change it. There is a way to turn it off the hide profiles for an Admin apparently. > [@I don’t care for the way Discourse handles private profiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-don-t-care-for-the-way-discourse-handles-private-profiles/929498/4): > > It doesn’t, though: the two site settings (changeable by a site admin) are allow users to hide profile presence enabled ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1569 "2024-02-29T18:33:23Z")
Can you please tell us where? I’m failing thus far to figure it out. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1570 "2024-02-29T18:37:46Z")
it wasn’t easy, under “interface” which I think was under “preferences” ETA : yes, that was it. apparently my “theme” is Graceful, lol ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1571 "2024-02-29T18:41:27Z")
Thank you. I missed that the first 2 times I looked: **Hide my public profile and presence features** The mods can uncheck those boxes for users, good to know. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1572 "2024-02-29T18:53:13Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > I found a box to uncheck and now my profile shouldn’t be hidden. so y’all can block me more easily! Who said that? 😉 Just kidding. You’re one of the good ones. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1573 "2024-02-29T19:27:30Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > I was recognizing that I needed to stop interacting with him and that was why. There are a few posters that push my buttons so much that interacting with them gets me to the point where I am tempted to violate board rules. I put them on ignore and it has made my time here so much easier. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1574 "2024-02-29T19:30:33Z")
Years ago, I spent two weeks at a Buddhist Monastery, where I sought to learn “to be as contented in a hovel as I am in a palace.” I mentioned to one of the monastics that – in my experience – Buddhist Monasteries tended to be located pretty much _exclusively_ in sylvan, serene, tranquil, and absolutely beautiful settings. What gives? “Well,” said the monastic with a glint of a smile in his eyes, “That doesn’t hurt.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1575 "2024-02-29T20:25:20Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Analogies and hypotheticals are how you avoid capriciousness. > … > And, likewise, using hypotheticals is how you break people out of dishonest viewpoints. I responded tersely and crankily yesterday, but I wanna give you a better answer. Analogies and hypotheticals can certainly be useful tools. But they are not always useful, and they are not the only tools. In other words, they are neither necessary nor sufficient tools for avoiding capriciousness nor breaking people out of dishonest viewpoints. Many years ago I read a metaphor about metaphors (a metametaphor?): They’re like shining light on an object in a dim room. Sure, they help you see one facet of the situation more clearly; but they also cast shadows on the rest of the object. Use them judiciously but cautiously, recognizing their pitfalls. The analogies and hypotheticals you choose are very often shadowcasters that obfuscate more than they illuminate. I encourage you to be much more cautious in your use of them, and to examine them for flaws before you post them. Are there important aspects of the situation that are obscured or misrepresented in your analogy? Will people be so distracted by these aspects that your larger point will be lost? If so, kiss the metaphor on the forehead and then drown it in the bathtub: it’ll do nobody any good. And if the image of that last metaphor was so appalling that you’re like WTF LHOD, well, _exactly._ ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1576 "2024-02-29T21:09:51Z")
Your explanation was perfectly understandable the first time. I don’t see how anyone could fail to understand it unless they wanted to “misinterpret” it. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [February 29, 2024, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1577 "2024-02-29T22:27:40Z")
Unpossible. The Wise Mouse believes logic is king and truth is truth. There’s no possible way they would “misinterpret” something to make their argument less fucking disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2024, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1578 "2024-03-05T00:08:04Z")
> [@Buck\_Godot](#): > > It was your claim that it take a mind reader to tell that doing to sort of things that Ford claimed happened to her were done as an attempt to sexually assault her. To say otherwise basically implies that one can’t be accused of attempted rape, because you never really know what he was trying to do. Yeah, girls and women know what it’s like when men have sexual intentions toward them. I don’t know why this whole “misunderstanding” mantra is so deeply embedded in rape culture, but I heard it all the time when I was sexually abused by my stepfather/adoptive father. “Are you sure it wasn’t just a misunderstanding?” Even from a guy I was dating. I’m complaining to him, “My mother keeps saying it was just a misunderstanding.” Guy I’m dating… “I mean, was it?” No it wasn’t, motherfuckers. I still to this day have to question myself and go through it all over again just to remind myself no, my perceptions about this were accurate and real. I have to fit the pieces together until I’ve got a solid “case” based on the testimony of other people because I’ve been gaslit so many fucking times. I have been in therapy twenty fucking years because of a misunderstanding. Yeah, that tracks. It’s painfully, uncomfortably obvious when a man has sexual intentions toward you. Many women acquire that radar at least when they hit puberty. I acquired it probably around age seven, though I wouldn’t have been able to name it. That is the society in which we live. Skip the condescension toward women and just say what you really think. Either, “She’s lying,” or “I choose to believe she’s confused because I don’t enjoy the cognitive dissonance that comes with supporting a probable attempted rapist.” But she misunderstood? Come the fuck on. I can’t believe this stupid fucking triggering as hell Kavanaugh bullshit is back in the public eye. Jesus fucking Christ. That’s all I’m going to say about that. But thanks for harshing my vibe, @Sage_Rat ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2024, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1579 "2024-03-05T00:24:51Z")
Thats why a lot of abuse isn’t reported. I had thought only a stranger could rape you. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2024, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532/1580 "2024-03-05T00:29:21Z")
Depending on the stats you look at, somewhere like 85-90% of rapes are by someone the victim knows. Even your spouse can rape you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=78) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-you-thinking/991532.md?page=80)