# What were your D&D hacks? **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [March 15, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065 "2015-03-15T21:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Airk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Airk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airk)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/41 "2015-03-17T13:46:59Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > That’d be another Hack… one DM used the Arduin fumble charts on a natural 1. So, about a 1/40 chance every time your dice hit the table that you were going to get maimed. Yeah, there’s a reason fumbles weren’t included in the core rules… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/42 "2015-03-18T01:31:43Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > In 3.0, Harm reduces the target to 1d4 hit points, no save. The Rapier of Puncturing, three times per day, can drain 1d6 points of Con as a touch attack. > > Single digit HP plus the sudden loss of one or more hit points per hit die is enough to drop most high level creatures. It actually gets more potent the more hit dice the target has. I don’t think I’d allow it to work that way. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/43 "2015-03-18T01:33:37Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > The entire party fell from the sky like dead turkeys. The Healer closed early that week. “As the Gods are my witness, I thought Wizards could fly” ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/44 "2015-03-18T12:40:19Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I don’t think I’d allow it to work that way. If you were running 3.0 D&D, that’s how it worked. There’s no interpretation there, it’s all plain text. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/45 "2015-03-18T12:44:11Z")
DM rulings override everything, including plain text. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/46 "2015-03-18T13:07:41Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > DM rulings override everything, including plain text. Exactly, remember the 3 laws of Rpgetics: 1. The DM is right. 2. The DM is \*\*always \*\*right. 3. If you have any doubt see laws 1 and 2. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/47 "2015-03-18T13:26:08Z")
After I reached the point of having my own stronghold, I always exchanged all gold, silver and gems for copper pieces and kept those in my treasure rooms. I had wagonloads of them. It made it impractical for thieves to steal any worthwhile fraction of my wealth while simultaneously making it easy for me to pay the local bumpkins to labor for me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/48 "2015-03-18T14:11:16Z")
A mage cast Glyph of Warding: Paralyze on a couple small jewelry boxes. He was working undercover, trying to infiltrate the Slavelords, when the PC’s attacked (this was the player’s first time with the gaming group). The mage turned to the slave lord, handed him the box and said “Quick! Use this ring to escape! It’s your only chance!” The slave lord was much easier to stab once he was paralyzed. ---
**Author:** ![Stormcrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@Stormcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stormcrow)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/49 "2015-03-18T14:35:25Z")
A couple of nifty arrow-related ones I’ve seen: An arrow tip made of a small, fragile container (think two halves of a walnut shell lightly glued together, with Fire Trap cast on it. Arrow hits, container opens forcefully, Fire Trap goes off - instant explosive arrow. Alternatively, an arrow with a similar container with a Rot Grub contained within it. Puncture the skin, Rot Grub is injected into bad guy. More fun; same though, with oozes of various kinds in the container. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/50 "2015-03-18T14:49:08Z")
A paladin drank a potion of healing while a potion of Flight was active, and with the 1st edition miscibility rules, got Permanency on the Flight. She decided that this was valuable enough that she never drank a potion again for fear of cancelling the Flight. Some time later, she walked into a room that had an illusory floor, a mage walked in alongside her. He looked down, saved vs. the Illusion and said “Hey, the floor is an illusion…” and fell through it. With his help, she saved as well, but hovered in mid-air anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/51 "2015-03-18T15:57:19Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > So we ended up with things like: > > Laundry golem > Thatch of blackberries golem > Spitoon golem > Gristle golem (addressed the weakness of bone and flesh golems respectively) > Pinecone golem > > and so on… Heh! One of my minor hobbies, over the years, has actually been collecting odd official D20 Golem variants. But, luckily, as it turns out, someone did a far more thorough job, and compiled the [Manuel Complet Du Golem](https://www.scribd.com/doc/102189783/Manuel-Complet-Du-Golem-Dungeons-and-Dragons-v2-2#page=79) (page 79 for the index, if the Scribd link doesn’t work), or the (comparably smaller, alas) English extract, [The Ultimate Golem Index](https://www.scribd.com/doc/110795287/The-Ultimate-Golem-Index-v1-0#page=4) (page 4 for the index proper). Bramble Golems, Chitin Golems, Dung Golems, Leather Golems, Loam Golems, Salt Golems, Soap Golems, Steam Golems, Twine Golems, Tooth Golems…like, five or six different types of Glass Golems… Hey, as [another legendary Golem-maker](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judah_Loew_ben_Bezalel)put it, “for it is man’s nature to desire these things, just as he prefers games and silliness.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Airk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Airk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airk)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/52 "2015-03-18T18:13:02Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > A paladin drank a potion of healing while a potion of Flight was active, and with the 1st edition miscibility rules, got Permanency on the Flight. She decided that this was valuable enough that she never drank a potion again for fear of cancelling the Flight. Some time later, she walked into a room that had an illusory floor, a mage walked in alongside her. He looked down, saved vs. the Illusion and said “Hey, the floor is an illusion…” and fell through it. With his help, she saved as well, but hovered in mid-air anyway. I’m pretty sure you fall through illusionary floor REGARDLESS of whether you believe in it or not. Assuming we’re playing D&D and not TOON, the power of belief is not enough to make you fly. Also, the DM is only right until all the players decide he’s an asshole and leave the table. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/53 "2015-03-18T18:15:55Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Also, the DM is only right until all the players decide he’s an asshole and leave the table. Ah but if all the players leave the table then he’s no longer the DM, and thus no longer right. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/54 "2015-03-18T18:59:25Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Bramble Golems, Chitin Golems, Dung Golems, Leather Golems, Loam Golems, Salt Golems, Soap Golems, Steam Golems, Twine Golems, Tooth Golems…like, five or six different types of Glass Golems… There was a Fraggle Rock episode with this singing scarecrow like creatures that lured Red into these plants with their hypnotic singing. Then you’d just stand there forever. So I made them singing pumpkin headed golems (like the existing ones) that lured you into a Vampiric Corn Patch. They lure you in and you WANT to be there, then the corn basically eats you. The Ranger failed his save and was lured in. Thankfully, the player completely bought into the role-playing of it and fought the rest of the party trying to stay with his friends the “punkin heads!” ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/55 "2015-03-18T20:01:22Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > I’m pretty sure you fall through illusionary floor REGARDLESS of whether you believe in it or not. Assuming we’re playing D&D and not TOON, the power of belief is not enough to make you fly. Actually, the naturally flying paladin might have “walked” on it without even realizing it was an illusion ! Though I guess the sudden lack of ground resistance would have been a hint. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/56 "2015-03-18T20:21:21Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Also, the DM is only right until all the players decide he’s an asshole and leave the table. You said it better than I ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/57 "2015-03-18T20:24:45Z")
> [@Airk](#): > > Also, the DM is only right until all the players decide he’s an asshole and leave the table. As I have learned through almost 37 years of playing D&D: Don’t come up with things like that and then raise a fuss when the DM over-rules it. Why? **Because the DM can use that same trick against YOU, and come up with a dozen more.** I would rule that the enemy now has that d4 hp, and a lower max hp. Not dead, but clearly only one light hit away. And being me and not having every enemy/monster being unbelievably suicidal, I’d probably have him pull out some trick or potion, and/or run away. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/58 "2015-03-18T22:24:51Z")
The floor was obviously made via Shadow Conjuration (a mimicked Wall of Stone, perhaps). That produces an illusion that incorporates stuff from the Plane of Shadow to make it quasi-real: Real enough if you believe it, but subject to failure if you disbelieve. A proper dungeon maze should incorporate some combination of Walls of Force, Walls of Stone, Walls of Stone cast with the Invisible Spell metamagic, Shadow Conjuration mimicking Wall of Stone, Shadow Evocation mimicking Wall of Force, invisible spell variants of both of those, and Illusory Walls, some of which are cast on top of other sorts of walls. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/59 "2015-03-18T22:57:10Z")
We were in territory owned by a certain Orc tribe and they ran a lot of tough patrols, but we’d taken out a few of them. Then we decided to do something different, since they were getting wise and sending out larger groups. Our Rogue went up on a hill to try to see them coming. When they were close, he signaled us. My Wizard used his Minor Image spell to conjure up a small army of Adventurers. The sounds only needed to be cheers and the like. The Cleric got up on a rock and proceeded to give them (and the rest of us) a rousing speech. Then the Orcs come around the hill and see this small army of Adventurers being whipped into a frenzy to go slaughter their entire village. They hightailed it back to the village, which was empty when we finally arrived some time later. Yeah, we didn’t get any real treasure out of it, but the mission was never to wipe out the tribe. We only happened to be passing through and wanted to live to tell about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065/60 "2015-03-18T23:51:41Z")
Heh. Reminds me of a creative way we dealt with an overwhelming band : we were trekking through a roughly viking-themed kingdom, passing through with a big caravan but kept getting ambushed by burly mercenaries wherever we turned. We’d usually push them away without too much trouble, but it was getting irritating so we decided to have a chat with them, figure out what their deal was, who’d hired them to attack us, whether there was room for a counter-offer, that kind of thing. We go to their hall and find it sitting atop a wide open plateau, encircled with some weird looking totems/runestones that were quite obviously magical. So we do the Adventurer/murder hobo thing and pull out the 10 foot poles - prod the stones, prod the spaces between the stones, chuck rocks at or through them… nothing. And we don’t have any kind of magic removal on hand. Ultimately we just shrugged, reasoning that it was probably some kind of alarm system and we’re not here to fight anyway, we _want_ them to know we’re here. So in I move and _pop_, two sabertooth tigers manifest into being and immediately start mauling at my nethers. Worse, the viking guys hear the commotion and pour out of the hall, already berserking. So we do the smart thing and high-tail the fuck out of there because there’s no way we’re taking on all 30 or so dudes AND two sabercats on an open field. And the diplomacy plan was evidently off the table. Then came the time to figure out plan B : how to fuck their shit up, then ? And our druid came up with a thing of beauty. He filled his _entire_ spell alotment with Charm Animal spells, some Extended. We came back at night, the invis’d rogue doing a rapid slalom between the runestones, popping a pair of cats apiece which the druid (polymorphed into some kind of bird) would immediately beguile before they could suss out the rogue’s exact position or do too much damage to him. And so our assault on the hall was preceded by an ambush of murdertigers. Lesson here : never auto-summon anything bigger than your head ! :). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-d-d-hacks/715065.md?page=4)