# What were your favorite lunatic theories on the SDMB?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 22, 2021, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021 "2021-07-22T01:10:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2021, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/102 "2021-08-31T21:40:51Z")

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**Moderator Warning**

> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> I shut Jackmannii up pretty good…

> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> He’s scared…He ran…

The rule around here is attack the post, not the user. Since this appears to be a pattern of behavior on your part and not a one-off event, instead of a note this is an official warning for attacking users outside of the Pit. Further attacks on users may result in a loss of posting privileges.

**Moderator Note**

> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> (and equally unqualified)

Do not attack the staff. This is also a warnable offense. If you wish to discuss the moderation of this site or the moderators themselves, feel free to open a thread in ATMB, but keep the discussion respectful as per ATMB rules.

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**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2021, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/103 "2021-08-31T21:45:09Z")

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> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> For some reason my posts ended up in some sort of separate text box…Some kind of formatting issue…

You began each paragraph with spaces to indent. Discourse interprets this differently than our old vBulletin software. I fixed the formatting in the first post and a couple of subsequent posts, but I don’t have the time to go through every post in that thread to fix the remaining formatting errors.

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**Author:** ![Jetblast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@Jetblast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jetblast)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2021, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/104 "2021-08-31T22:02:58Z")

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So you are saying a deliberate detouring from the subject at hand by inferring I was “a pig in the mud” is not an attack?..

I am the foremost researcher in the world on this subject…I’ve done two public radio shows in major cities discussing my evidence…Your site called my research a “lunatic theory”…

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2021, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/105 "2021-08-31T23:28:34Z")

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No, the foremost, and most likely only, researcher in the world on this subject was the coroner who did the autopsy.

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**Author:** ![Jetblast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@Jetblast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jetblast)\
**Post date:** [August 31, 2021, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/106 "2021-08-31T23:41:25Z")

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By definition a coroner is not a researcher…The coroner who did the autopsy was England’s best, Dr Donald Teare…The Chief Coroner who oversaw Teare was Dr Gavin Thurston, the head of the London Coroner’s Office…In an interview with reporter Jack Meehan Thurston said “Mr Hendrix’s stomach contents at autopsy showed he had imbibed a large amount of red wine”…By saying this Thurston condemned the autopsy because, as Chief Coroner, by definition he was required to then process why Jimi only had a trace blood alcohol amount while being witnessed by the Chief Coroner as having a “stomach full of red wine”…That stomach full of wine should have produced a commensurate blood alcohol content…It was Thuston’s job description to figure out why it didn’t…This is proof of malfeasance at the least and proof of a cover-up at the worst…

Forensically, a stomach full of red wine with no ensuing blood alcohol content is also proof of drowning in wine because the only way you could have a stomach full of wine with no associated blood alcohol content is if the lungs were drowned by that same wine causing the heart to stop, therefore causing the intestines to not absorb the wine…

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**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/107 "2021-09-01T00:06:23Z")

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> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> By definition a coroner is not a researcher…The coroner who did the autopsy was England’s best, Dr Donald Teare

Could you point us to an objective form of measurement for determining which coroner is the best of his peers?

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/108 "2021-09-01T04:35:18Z")

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C’mon, gang, you’ve got to admit that reading a “favorite theories” thread, when suddenly the perfect example of a theorist shows up, is a cool sort of self-referential cosmic convergence…

I, for one, feel so lucky.

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**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/109 "2021-09-01T05:48:52Z")

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> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> I’ve done two public radio shows

Well we all know that lunatic theorists _never_ go on public radio shows!

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**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/110 "2021-09-01T12:58:24Z")

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> [@Jetblast](#):
>
> So you are saying a deliberate detouring from the subject at hand by inferring I was “a pig in the mud” is not an attack?..
> 
> I am the foremost researcher in the world on this subject…I’ve done two public radio shows in major cities discussing my evidence…Your site called my research a “lunatic theory”…

So is it swords or pistols at dawn, sir?.. Choose your weapon…

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**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/111 "2021-09-01T14:10:38Z")

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I’ll concede that “Hendrix was drowned in wine” is not the most lunatic theory about Hendrix’s death. That honor probably goes to Wellaware1, who has _incontrovertible evidence_, including a dorsal hand vein match, to prove that Hendrix faked his death and became Morgan Freeman.

“Do I need to go on? No, not really, because if you have any ability to critically think and apply common sense you know for a fact with this scientific evidence as well as the supporting proof of his spouse, know what I am saying is FACT. If you claim to disagree, even after looking at the evidence in front of you, it shows you are thinking in a conditioned state and/or are benefiting from this lie somehow.”

[http://wellaware1.com/2015-05-music-legends-2-jimmy-is-freeman-2/](http://wellaware1.com/2015-05-music-legends-2-jimmy-is-freeman-2/)

We can only hope that one day, Jetblast and Wellaware1 will debate on live TV and settle this matter once and for all.

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**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/112 "2021-09-01T17:33:27Z")

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> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> Jetblast and Wellaware1 will debate on live TV and settle this matter once and for all.

CONSPIRODOME!

Two go in - one comes out!

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**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/113 "2021-09-01T19:10:06Z")

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> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#):
>
> Two go in - one comes out!

Do they have to? Come out, I mean. Can’t we just leave them both in there?

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/114 "2021-09-01T20:42:28Z")

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> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> If you claim to disagree, even after looking at the evidence in front of you, it shows you are thinking in a conditioned state and/or are benefiting from this lie somehow.”

Excuse me, but I need to know how to benefit from not believing Jimi is Morgan. Can I collect from George Soros (when I stop by his compound to get my cash for not believing Donald is still President)?

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/115 "2021-09-01T21:08:36Z")

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> [@Jackmannii](#):
>
> That honor probably goes to Wellaware1, who has _incontrovertible evidence_ , including a dorsal hand vein match, to prove that Hendrix faked his death and became Morgan Freeman.

But…but…but…but…but…but…but…but…but…

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**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\
**Post date:** [September 1, 2021, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/116 "2021-09-01T21:30:44Z")

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Since everyone is talking about Jimmie Hendrix I feel like I should mention the insane theory that DOORS frontman Jim Morrison faked his death and eventually became Rush Limbaugh. [https://old.reddit.com/r/thedoors/comments/l782v7/jim\_morrison\_is\_rush\_limbaugh/](https://old.reddit.com/r/thedoors/comments/l782v7/jim_morrison_is_rush_limbaugh/)

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**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\
**Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/117 "2021-09-02T15:01:42Z")

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> [@dorvann](#):
>
> Jim Morrison faked his death and eventually became Rush Limbaugh.

And that’s why Val Kilmer put on weight, so he could continue to play Jim/Rush!

Q E _frickin_ D !

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**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\
**Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/118 "2021-09-02T17:09:38Z")

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> [@digs](#):
>
> And that’s why Val Kilmer put on weight, so he could continue to play Jim/Rush!

It all fits!

Wait…is Paul dead? aI may have to revise my theory.

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/119 "2021-09-02T19:07:38Z")

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The first two Pauls are dead, but the third one is holding up well, despite the efforts of two of the Beatles to expose the conspiracy…but he took care of that problem.

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**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [September 2, 2021, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/120 "2021-09-02T22:01:30Z")

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I have an issue of Batman that is a very thinly veiled telling of the dark knight exploring the ‘Paul is dead’ mystery.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

He discovers Paul is alive. It’s the other three Beatles who died and were replaced by lookalikes.

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**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\
**Post date:** [September 3, 2021, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-were-your-favorite-lunatic-theories-on-the-sdmb/947021/121 "2021-09-03T00:42:12Z")

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Can we prove it DIDN’T happen?

[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/7_DEtfvv9MU/hqdefault.jpg "Criswell Predicts : Plan 9 From Outer Space Outro") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_DEtfvv9MU)

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