# What/who is your go-to name for somebody pissing you off in traffic or elsewhere?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [July 2, 2014, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170 "2014-07-02T06:07:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/1 "2014-07-02T06:07:46Z")
This may result eventually in a poll if there are enough similar responses to warrant such. And I had no idea where the appropriate forum (if any) would be to ask this.
I have a collection of names that I use instead of generic ones like asshole, shithook, cocksucker, etc., when I’m being mistreated in traffic like being cut off or almost run into or something more life-threatening. It seems that a good many of them are names of playmates and classmates from 50-60 years ago that just jump out of my subconscious at those moments and which don’t represent any deliberate ill will toward their former owners.
If you have similar people you address when you’re saying things like “Fuck you in the heart, _whomever_” to some driver or pedestrian or the like, please share the names if not the entire chant.
A few of mine that get reused:
Gerald
Harold
Clyde
Kenneth
Virgil
Grady
…got to be a dozen more that hopefully one or some of you may mention.
Or do you never sully the names of old friends this way?
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### Author:  [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/2 "2014-07-02T06:33:08Z")
Hmmm. Never thought of doing this but I might start.
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/3 "2014-07-02T06:42:57Z")
> [@jabiru](#):
>
> Hmmm. Never thought of doing this but I might start.
Glad to be an inspiration for you. 🙂 Any idea who might be your first cuss-tomer?
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/4 "2014-07-02T06:56:38Z")
I use dickweed a lot.
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### Author:  [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/5 "2014-07-02T06:58:22Z")
Sparky. Also Sunshine.
“Nice parking there, Sparky, you fuckwit.”
“Whoa there, Sunshine, pretty sure you’re too stupid to live, never mind drive.”
They originated as other words for ‘shit’ when my son was little and have taken on personalities of their own.
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### Author:  [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/6 "2014-07-02T06:58:26Z")
> [@madmonk28](#):
>
> I use dickweed a lot.
Yeah, I would never use an actual name that might belong to an actual, non-asshole person. I would use dickweed, dill-hole, jaggoff, god-damn-mother-fucking-cock-sucker, or the ever popular and succinct _asshole_. Would never grace them with an actual person’s given name.
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### Author:  [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/7 "2014-07-02T08:57:54Z")
I also use fucking piece of shit. Why sugar coat it when cursing feels so good?
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### Author:  [@hapkido1996](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hapkido1996)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/8 "2014-07-02T09:00:34Z")
I just go with “booger-eating fucking moron.”
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### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/9 "2014-07-02T09:13:33Z")
I had a girlfriend once who had an Italian parent from whom she had copied the habit of saying “tua mama è una puttana!” when drivers were rude to her. I do the same, at least mentally. I don’t really mean it, it’s just funny.
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### Author:  [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/10 "2014-07-02T09:31:45Z")
I usually just flash back to [this timeless Simpsons clip.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSFs2qtcji4)
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### Author:  [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/11 "2014-07-02T10:09:47Z")
Turd-burgling deviant!
(Should I have put that in quotes?)
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### Author:  [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/12 "2014-07-02T10:12:46Z")
Normally I call them a “fucking clown” or “clown” if the kids are in the car.
I once missed the opportunity of a lifetime when I got carved up on the motorway by a van, I silently fumed but said nothing. It was only when I passed the van that I saw the sign painted on the side
“Mr. Pickles…children’s entertainer”
But it was too late…too late.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/13 "2014-07-02T10:35:26Z")
Lately I’ve been using the word “chucklefuck”.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/14 "2014-07-02T10:43:11Z")
fucker.
Specifically lower case and murmured, not yelled. A friend was over with her 1 1/2 year old tyke, who kept grabbing things (our home isn’t kid safe or friendly). At some point I muttered “fucker”, and her mom cracked up.
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### Author:  [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/15 "2014-07-02T10:43:48Z")
My current favorite is “dickwrinkle” but some of these others may be more satisfying. And, of course, the “What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Stupid flakes?” never fails.
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/16 "2014-07-02T11:54:13Z")
> [@Gleena](#):
>
> Sparky. Also Sunshine.
>
> “Nice parking there, Sparky, you fuckwit.”
>
> “Whoa there, Sunshine, pretty sure you’re too stupid to live, never mind drive.”
>
> They originated as other words for ‘shit’ when my son was little and have taken on personalities of their own.
Those are great!
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/17 "2014-07-02T11:55:57Z")
> [@kayaker](#):
>
> fucker.
> Specifically lower case and murmured, not yelled. A friend was over with her 1 1/2 year old tyke, who kept grabbing things (our home isn’t kid safe or friendly). At some point I muttered “fucker”, and her mom cracked up.
Feels good, though, right?
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/18 "2014-07-02T12:13:23Z")
Magellan (props to Robin Williams).
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### Author:  [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/19 "2014-07-02T12:54:00Z")
cocksucker
If I’m mildly irritated Jonesing like he’s really Jonesing for an accident. i.e. He wants to be in an accident.
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### Author:  [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)
#### Post date: [July 2, 2014, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/20 "2014-07-02T13:02:36Z")
Grandma or gramps, whatever I feel like, regardless of gender. I used to call slow people “slopes” until somebody pointed out it could be interpreted as a racial slur, now I just call them slowpers. With a heavy sprinkling of asshole, piece of shit, etc.
In general I’ve been experimenting with curse words. Shizz and farts lightens the mood better than shit and fuck.
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