# What/who is your go-to name for somebody pissing you off in traffic or elsewhere? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 2, 2014, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170 "2014-07-02T06:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/21 "2014-07-02T13:12:22Z")
Asshat or assclown. Depends on the transgression. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/22 "2014-07-02T13:13:55Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > \<\< trimmed \>\> I’ve been experimenting with curse words. Shizz and farts lightens the mood better than shit and fuck. This idea would make for a fun thread on its own. Toned-down cursing. Genteel swearing. Ladylike bullshit. Pick a name. Another Idea I’ve had that may not even work at thread level has to do with when one of my kids would ask me if I knew somebody’s name and I would go on for a long time taking some unlikely surname (my go-to was Ducats) and list hundreds of possibilities like Elwood Ducats, Jasper Ducats, Clytemnestra Ducats, and just keep on until whichever kid asking the question would yell. “Uncle!” or “Stop!” or words to that effect. I was a bad parent. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DChord568](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@DChord568](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DChord568)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/23 "2014-07-02T13:44:27Z")
You just can’t go wrong with the all-purpose “asshole.” Novelty songs generally have a very short shelf life for me, but I had to admit to getting a kick out of Adam Sandler’s “[Ode to My Car](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQqDcjU_MRk),” in which his car’s lack of good brakes leads to him hearing (11 times a day) “Hey, watch it, asshole!” ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/24 "2014-07-02T14:06:30Z")
It’s always asshole for me, unless there are children in the car. Then I say “Way to go, Bunky”. I don’t remember how or where I came up with this, but I know Bunky was an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/25 "2014-07-02T14:10:18Z")
Mine is racist, so I’ll put it in a spoiler. Yackablackers, for when I’m stuck in a car lane at the drive-through or bank because the car ahead of me has a black woman blabbing with the black female attendant. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/26 "2014-07-02T14:10:45Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > It’s always asshole for me, unless there are children in the car. Then I say “Way to go, Bunky”. I don’t remember how or where I came up with this, but I know Bunky was an idiot. There was a Bunky on _Big Brother_ several/many years ago. Him, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/27 "2014-07-02T14:17:30Z")
Then there is the douche family of putdowns. What is the order of offensiveness? Douche, douchebag, douchenozzle, douche pot pie, douche canoe, douchewad, douchewaffle, etc. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/28 "2014-07-02T14:22:26Z")
“Twit” if Celtling is in the car. “Absolute twat” when she isn’t. For a slow-poke in the left lane it’s a sardonic “John Paul Jones,” “Roger Bannister” if he’s accompanied by a lane-blocker in the middle and/or right lanes. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/29 "2014-07-02T14:28:05Z")
A sarcastic “sweetheart.” As in, “Come on, sweetheart, move your ass!” or “Pick a lane, sweetheart!” Sometimes I go with “dumbass,” but usually it’s “sweetheart.” (Note that I _never_ use that with someone I’m dating. “Sweetie,” maybe, but I don’t believe I’ve ever sincerely called someone “sweetheart.”) ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/30 "2014-07-02T14:35:12Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > There was a Bunky on _Big Brother_ several/many years ago. Him, maybe? No, never watched that show. I think I picked the phrase up from a co-worker and who knows how he came up with it. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/31 "2014-07-02T14:40:08Z")
Jethro. We reserve “Asshole” for the guy across the street. His last name is “Testosterone.” ---
**Author:** ![orderfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orderfire/32/10908_2.png) [@orderfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orderfire)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/32 "2014-07-02T14:47:33Z")
So many great inspirations here! Can’t wait to start driving home today. heh. I tend to rely on classics like You Dumb Fucking Idiot, Genius and Goddamned Moron, but a random one just popped out of my mouth recently - I referred to the annoying driver in question as a “turtleneck”. ??? ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/33 "2014-07-02T14:51:48Z")
This reminds me of the Far Side, “Why people named Buddy hate to drive.” However I personally don’t use buddy. I like my buddies and don’t want to associate them with asshole drivers, even sarcastically. That’s why the word “dickhead” was invented. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/34 "2014-07-02T14:54:56Z")
> [@orderfire](#): > > So many great inspirations here! Can’t wait to start driving home today. heh. > > I tend to rely on classics like You Dumb Fucking Idiot, Genius and Goddamned Moron, but a random one just popped out of my mouth recently - I referred to the annoying driver in question as a “turtleneck”. ??? Some movie or TV show (might have been **Paladin** – _Have Gun, Will Travel_ – years ago) made reference to a **pencil necked geek** which became elevated in my own vocabulary for special occasions. Glad to have been in on your being inspired. Just trying to help out as a good Christian. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Simmerdown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simmerdown/32/14859_2.png) [@Simmerdown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simmerdown)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/35 "2014-07-02T14:58:48Z")
“Nice move, **Zeldar**!” has a ring to it. (Nothing personal, of course). ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/36 "2014-07-02T15:02:38Z")
“Asshole” or “moron” typically. But if you’re a rural slow poke then you’re named “Clem.” Just because. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/37 "2014-07-02T15:05:31Z")
Take a page from South Park: “God dammit, Butters!” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/38 "2014-07-02T15:05:32Z")
> [@Simmerdown](#): > > “Nice move, **Zeldar**!” has a ring to it. (Nothing personal, of course). Just think of me when you use it. No problem for me – unless I’m that other guy – and I try hard not to be such a blight on people’s nice days. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/39 "2014-07-02T15:08:16Z")
I thought of a few I’ve used that are G-rated: Mr. Midlife Crisis (tailgater in sports car) Miss Can’tPutDownYourCellPhone (young woman drifting into my lane) Useless mud flap (idiot merging slowly right in front of a semi) This is a fun thread! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170/40 "2014-07-02T15:08:22Z")
Cocksucking motherfucking slut Dickweed Fucking Buckeye (when car sports Ohio plates) Granny Grunt [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-who-is-your-go-to-name-for-somebody-pissing-you-off-in-traffic-or-elsewhere/692170.md?page=3)