# What will get you in the end?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 6, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506 "2002-05-06T06:57:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/1 "2002-05-06T06:57:58Z")

</div>

I recently received this via e-mail - thought I’d share it with my friends here:

> [@](#):
>
> The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
> 
> On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
> 
> The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
> 
> The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
> 
> Conclusion:  
> Eat and drink what you like. It’s speaking English that kills you.

Excuse me while I dig out my Spanish book from high school…

😃

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/2 "2002-05-06T07:29:21Z")

</div>

Have any tests been run on Japanese-Americans, French-Americans or Italian-Americans? I imagine these tests should also be restricted to those who have learned to speak English. 😛

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\
**Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/3 "2002-05-06T20:45:40Z")

</div>

Hah! I fooled them! I speak _Chinese!_

(And a little French, too, just to be safe 😉 )

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/4 "2002-05-07T01:22:26Z")

</div>

It’s those damned REPUBLICANS, foulin’ up the place…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/5 "2002-05-07T01:56:36Z")

</div>

Drain Bead with a strap-on.  
Long time dopers will cringe

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/6 "2002-05-07T08:13:50Z")

</div>

Getting Beatles songs stuck in my head whenever I read thread titles will get me in the end.

Seriously, though, I’m going to die laughing. Whenever I know I’m in SERIOUS, IMMEDIATE DANGER, I guffaw nervously. Yes, that’s-right-you-heard-right, not a chuckle, more of a guffaw.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\
**Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-get-you-in-the-end/107506/7 "2002-05-07T14:27:58Z")

</div>

> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Booker57 \*  
> \*\*Drain Bead with a strap-on.  
> Long time dopers will cringe \*\*

That wasn’t Drain Bead, it was her predecessor, and anyway don’t be dredging up painful memories like that - I’m sure the guy would like to forget the whole thing.

Oh, and I figure one of three things will get me in the end:  
[ul][li]Diabetes (not yet, but it’s inevitable)[/li][li]Depression from having to give up everything I like to eat because of diabetes[/li]Blowing a blood vessel from reading yet another Pit thread that apparently was written by a functional illiterate.[/ul]