# What will the first person on Mars say? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2018, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938 "2018-10-14T15:22:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/41 "2018-10-15T00:55:58Z")
This ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact it’s cold as hell! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/42 "2018-10-15T01:54:28Z")
Unless humanity destroys itself, I think it’s absolutely crazy to think a human is not going to step foot on the planet. There’s a lot of future to go after we’ve all passed on, and somebody is going to want to be the first. That said, the conditional does actually make it at least a little bit less than absolutely certain. Still, I went with a rehearsed line of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/43 "2018-10-15T02:00:22Z")
…needs guitars. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/44 "2018-10-15T02:05:18Z")
> [@FordPrefect](#): > > They should have sent a poet. As a child, my career goal was to be the first poet to live at a Lagrange point habitat. Half a century later and I’m still available. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/45 "2018-10-15T02:31:32Z")
I know what I would say. “John Carter, we are here.” ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/46 "2018-10-15T03:00:31Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Unless humanity destroys itself, I think it’s absolutely crazy to think a human is not going to step foot on the planet. There’s a lot of future to go after we’ve all passed on, and somebody is going to want to be the first. That said, the conditional does actually make it at least a little bit less than absolutely certain. Still, I went with a rehearsed line of some sort. Yeah, and I went with “in Chinese.” They just want it more than we (the US) do, right now. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/47 "2018-10-15T03:13:04Z")
“This is just like Capricorn One!” [Here’s a page](https://spacearchaeology.org/?p=319) with some classic suggestions. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/48 "2018-10-15T04:20:52Z")
Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/49 "2018-10-15T05:07:11Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > Yeah, and I went with “in Chinese.” They just want it more than we (the US) do, right now. The US went to the moon in order to assert its political dominance. There wasn’t really any other good reason to do it. The Chinese will get to Mars first for the same reason - to assert that they have arrived as a world power. And they will go there because that’s what’s left. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/50 "2018-10-15T05:23:32Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > Yeah, and I went with “in Chinese.” They just want it more than we (the US) do, right now. There is no indication that China has developed anything more than a conceptual plan for a crewed expedition to Mars, and certainly not earlier than mid-century given the modest progress of their own program and space transportation technology. All of these people kowtowing over how the Chinese are going to conquer the solar system while the US and Europe are sitting on their hands need to actually look at what the Chinese space program is actually doing rather than uncritically repeating boastful claims with little basis in evidence. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/51 "2018-10-15T05:35:16Z")
“Have another go at her, Mr. Gorsky!” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/52 "2018-10-15T06:33:08Z")
Where’s the nougat? I was promised nougat! And Caramel! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/53 "2018-10-15T12:28:33Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > …needs guitars. Gave up eating heads, cars and bars? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/54 "2018-10-15T13:23:19Z")
“Klaatu barada nikto.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/55 "2018-10-15T14:01:29Z")
Mars needs women! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/56 "2018-10-15T14:22:40Z")
Not going to happen. I think the technical hurdles will never be overcome. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/57 "2018-10-15T14:46:37Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Not going to happen. I think the technical hurdles will never be overcome. To me, it just seems inevitable, given the type of timeline we’re dealing with here. Like I said, if we don’t destroy ourselves in the meantime, how _can’t_ we end up at Mars (and I personally think beyond–far, far beyond.) ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/58 "2018-10-15T14:52:47Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > To me, it just seems inevitable, given the type of timeline we’re dealing with here. Like I said, if we don’t destroy ourselves in the meantime, how _can’t_ we end up at Mars (and I personally think beyond–far, far beyond.) If we find any signs of life on Mars, we probably won’t allow any crewed missions to the surface. There is too great a risk of contaminating Mars with Earth bacteria and destroying native Martian life before we can study them. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/59 "2018-10-15T14:54:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **susan** : > > As a child, my career goal was to be the first poet to live at a Lagrange point habitat. Half a century later and I’m still available. Lagrange point habitats make no sense. Orbital habitats _might_ make sense, but why put them at a Lagrange point? So you stay in the same position relative to the Earth and the Moon… but why does that matter? ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-will-the-first-person-on-mars-say/822938/60 "2018-10-15T15:28:47Z")
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