# What won't you wear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336 "2006-01-31T12:43:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/61 "2006-01-31T19:35:34Z")
**Straight or pencil skirts** - I have wide hips that flow from a narrow waist. All this skirt/dress cut does is make my hips look even bigger, or go straight down from the widest part which makes me look big. **Capri pants** - very few women actually look good in them, and few more look decent. My legs are on the short side and I don’t need them to look shorter. **Gauchos** - see above **Long skirts** - see above **Turtlenecks** - I have a rather ample chest area. All turtlenecks do is increase the area in an unflattering, matronly way. **Long shirts** - if the shirt hits any lower than upper-hip, it gives the same look as the straight skirts do: CAUTION - WIDE LOAD. Heh. **The colors orange, yellow (minus a few select shades) and brown** - I look like shit in them. I’m whiter than white and need nice jewel tones or occasional softer colors to look nice. The most important thing about clothing I’ve learned is: just because you like the idea of the item or love it on the mannequin doesn’t mean you should wear it. I love some longer skirts. They’re so pretty and flirty (when cut properly). On me? I’m way too short to wear them and I look stumpy. Every woman who’s told me “oh, don’t worry about that! If you like it, wear it!” has usually looked frumpy/fat/shitty in the clothes they’re wearing. Hello? ---
**Author:** ![MrJackboots](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MrJackboots](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrJackboots)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/62 "2006-01-31T19:56:29Z")
> [@tremorviolet](#): > > > [@UrbanChic](#): > > > > And Dockers. > > That was gonna be mine. Actually, khaki pants of any sort. Or, at least, not until I’ve completely given up on attempting to look attractive. Uh, forgive the ineptitude, but what’s wrong with khakis exactly? They seem to work OK for me, but maybe I’m naive (or maybe it has something to do with the eponymous footwear). And black Dockers just feel right. For my part, I don’t wear anything mesh-y (except over something not-mesh-y if I like it enough otherwise). Jeans are Levi’s 501s; all others are shallow imitations. No jackboots with jeans; I’m not a f\*cking cowboy wannabe. Work boots, sure. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/63 "2006-01-31T20:05:23Z")
I have no objection to casual denim trousers, but I refuse to call them _khaki_s, because _khaki_ is a [_colour_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khaki) dammit, not a style. ---
**Author:** ![mrunlucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@mrunlucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrunlucky)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/64 "2006-01-31T20:13:42Z")
Nothing beige. Beige is for boring suburban walls and carpets in new homes. I can’t do pink. And similar friends of the color pink, in the Easter color range. Some guys can wear these colors but I don’t know how. Maybe if I was leisure class and owned a sail boat and I could combine those colors with fishing hats and boat shoes. Sweatpants in public. I mean, come on, people will see you in those if you’re not in the gym. I can’t wear anything white or very light, because quite simply, I will just ruin it without even trying. I was a messy kid too. Camo. I’m not in the miliary, I don’t hunt, and I’m not trying to blend in to the wilderness. As has been mentioned, any 80s retro fashions meant for the twentysomething crowd. And gold just doesn’t look good against my skin. ---
**Author:** ![mrunlucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7993a0/32.png) [@mrunlucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrunlucky)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/65 "2006-01-31T20:13:28Z")
Nothing beige. Beige is for boring suburban walls and carpets in new homes. I can’t do pink. And similar friends of the color pink, in the Easter color range. Some guys can wear these colors but I don’t know how. Maybe if I was leisure class and owned a sail boat and I could combine those colors with fishing hats and boat shoes. Sweatpants in public. I mean, come on, people will see you in those if you’re not in the gym. I can’t wear anything white or very light, because quite simply, I will just ruin it without even trying. I was a messy kid too. Camo. I’m not in the miliary, I don’t hunt, and I’m not trying to blend in to the wilderness. As has been mentioned, any 80s retro fashions meant for the twentysomething crowd. And gold just doesn’t look good against my skin. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/66 "2006-01-31T20:15:21Z")
I don’t have a problem with khakis/chinos. They don’t bother me. I don’t wear them that often, but I have a few pair from banana republic and jcrew that I bust out a few times a year. As for Dockers, well, they stand for everything I hate–bland, suburban-wear lacking style and imagination. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/67 "2006-01-31T20:27:55Z")
> [@MrJackboots](#): > > Uh, forgive the ineptitude, but what’s wrong with khakis exactly? They seem to work OK for me, but maybe I’m naive (or maybe it has something to do with the eponymous footwear). And black Dockers just feel right. I don’t have a problem with khakis if you’re a Mr. but I dislike them on women. To me they symbolize the worst of bland, unflattering unisex wear, especially when paired with a polo short. Very few women can pull off khaki pants without looking like either a Blockbuster employee or their husbands on casual Friday. Although I’m thinking **Urbanchic** probably rocks the khakis. And, of course, that’s just my opinion and if you like khakis, go ahead and wear them. But, just remember, there are a lot of much more flattering alternatives out there. And wouldn’t you look prettier if you just pulled your hair back from your face and would it kill you to put on a little lipstick? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/68 "2006-01-31T20:39:21Z")
No spaghetti straps, and pant hems must hit the floor. I’m another of the stubby-legged population. I’m also short-waisted, so I go for tailored shirts with low rise flares (or boot cut). Add heels and it all balances out. 🙂 I’m a sucker though for a really nice neckline. I have a great decolletage. I don’t wear skirts so much. I’m self-conscious of my legs (I have dark hair from hell) and my transport is on two wheels 80 percent of the time anyways. I can wear almost any color as long as I stay away from pastels. Most of my wardrobe is black and green, though. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/69 "2006-01-31T20:56:31Z")
For me, most no-nos revolve around heat. For some reason, I have a HIGH internal temperature. For that reason, I hate: [ul] [li]Turtlenecks. I have little “neck” as it is, and I like it to be free.[/li][li]Neckties. I have to wear them frequently for work, butI don’t have to like them![/li][li]Heavy sweaters. It’s a pity, because I have two of those nice Aran sweaters from my Kilkenny cousins, but I immediately pass out from heat exhaustion when I wear them.[/li][li]Undershirts. I HATE wearing undershirts. This leads to probems with pitting, so I force myself to wear them with nice dress shirts and polos.[/li][/ul] No-one should ever wear a brown suit. Muddy is not the way to look sharp and business-like. And I _like_ the tasseled loafers. Last thing. My wife has been trying to get me away from the checked/plaid oxford shirts, and I’m resisting. She’s tossed all of my nice flannel shirts (OK, two of them, but it still hurts!), and she’s trying to convert me to those thin merino/cashmere sweaters that require an _undershirt_ . Sometimes I wonder if she even knows me. 😛 -Cem ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/70 "2006-01-31T21:03:03Z")
Polo shirts - the worst aspects of corporate bullshit and fratboy raping rolled into one baseball hats - see “Polo Shits” light colors - i’m a broad-shouldered, stocky guy, and anything lighter than dark blue or black makes me look like a freaking house light jeans - i hate light blue jeans; mine have to be pretty dark blue if I don’t want to feel like a mook pleats - please, folks. PLEASE NO MORE. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/71 "2006-01-31T21:06:31Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > what kind of costume? Hallowe’en? or are you in a performance group? Just Halloween, or maybe a murder mystery party. Once I went as “Prom Date from Hell” and that necessitated high heels. It was a b\*tch wearing them through the cemetery. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/72 "2006-01-31T21:09:06Z")
> [@Cemetery Savior](#): > > Turtlenecks. I have little “neck” as it is, and I like it to be free. > > No-one should ever wear a brown suit. Muddy is not the way to look sharp and business-like. Ooh, yes. I don’t wear collared shirts because my neck is fat and stumpy-looking enough. But I respectfully differ on the brown suit issue, as a chocolate brown or brown tweedy suit can look all right. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/73 "2006-01-31T21:13:44Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > **vix** - I’m afraid I have to agree with you, Lilly Pulitzer looks like Pucci does the Hamptons. Tweeness combined with loud pastel floral prints is close to my idea of style hell. I’d say Pucci does Palm Beach, but yeah, same audience. Even if I liked the style, the fact that Lilly Pulitzer is the chosen garment of the super-rich turns me off. And as **anyrose** said, they have the prices to match. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/74 "2006-01-31T21:18:01Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > Polo shirts - the worst aspects of corporate bullshit and _fratboy raping_ rolled into one > > baseball hats - see “Polo Shits” Italics mine. You’ve got to be kidding about the polos andbaseballs caps, right? No-one can seriously be that against what I consider to be American staples. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/75 "2006-01-31T21:22:42Z")
While a lot of Lily Pulitizer stuff is quite, er, resort-y, I do have a pair of LP embroidered cords. When I bought them, I thought they were ‘fun’. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/76 "2006-01-31T21:27:01Z")
My preferences: No orange (except for a subtle peach), no yellow. No neon-level hues. No dresses or skirts except when unavoidable. No pantyhose unless unavoidable. No tanned skin. No capris, no gauchos, no culottes, no skorts. No thongs. No going without a bra. No wild/obnoxious/large patterns. No paisley, no polka dots. No Burberry plaid. No noticeable logos of any kind, especially in a purse pattern. No low-cut tops. No acrylic sweaters. No spike heels, preferably no heels at all. Nothing that’s so trendy it’ll look laughable by the next season; I shop infrequently enough that I look for more classic pieces whenever possible. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/77 "2006-01-31T21:27:18Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > But I respectfully differ on the brown suit issue, as a chocolate brown or brown tweedy suit can look all right. I have never seen a brown suit that, IMO, looked good. The person always lokos like a walking turd in my eyes. Suits should be black, blue, or grey. ---
**Author:** ![Wnabtokio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Wnabtokio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wnabtokio)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/78 "2006-01-31T21:39:31Z")
White tee shirts of any kind-They say they make bras that won’t show under them. They are lying. Anything that doesn’t taper back in after it hits my chest.-Only makes me look 20 pounds heavier or sometimes pregnant, no big deal, right? Bottoms that go up higher then the end swell of my hips.-I’m short waisted, and they make me look like a little old man. Shortened genie pants with leather boots.-Just stop doing this, people. It hurts your Auntie Tokio. A lot. Those ridiculous little short jackets that are basically sleeves joined in the middle. Really, any bolero inspired thing is right out. And finally, polka dots. Of any size or color. Just no. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/79 "2006-01-31T22:12:32Z")
Anything with a corporate logo. Synthetic fibers.\* Skirts short enough to show knees. Tops low enough to show cleavage. Gaucho pants, of course. Anything that looks like it might fall apart after one washing. \*My mom is a professional quilter and so of course works with fabric constantly. She’s really sensitive to fabric quality and when I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to have anything made of polyester, no matter how much I begged. So of course, I grew up to be a horrible fabric snob. I did buy a beautiful dress made of polyester to wear to a black tie wedding in 2004, and naturally the first thing my mom asked when she saw it was “what’s it made of?” Me: “Polyesterdon’tlookatmelikethat! Ispenttenhourstryingondresses!” She let me live. ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2006, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/80 "2006-01-31T22:17:49Z")
I will not wear tight clothing. It makes me bulge out and is just plain uncomfortable. I cannot wear a lot of yellow or orange; they make me look like I have jaundice. I will not wear a thong. I trip in flip-flops. I can’t handle high heels either. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336.md?page=5)