# What won't you wear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336 "2006-01-31T12:43:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/121 "2006-02-02T10:16:10Z")
> [@kim ney](#): > > Strapless anything, dress, shoes, purse. I will wear strapless shoes and dresses (very occasionally) but this reminds me of something and I don’t know if that’s what you meant with the last item too: Armpit bags. You know, over the shoulder little handbags with the really short straps that hang under your armpits. And fall down all the time as well. None of that for me. ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/122 "2006-02-02T10:17:21Z")
> [@PookahMacPhellimey](#): > > You know, over the shoulder little handbags with the really short straps **that hang under your armpits**. And fall down all the time as well. None of that for me. The bags. Under your armpits. Not the straps. Those are on your shoulder. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2006, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/123 "2006-02-02T11:33:51Z")
Polo/turtle neck jumpers, makes me squirm and itch just thinking about them, the feel of them is too claustraphobic. Shame really as I think they look nice. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/124 "2006-02-03T14:18:25Z")
I’m not sure that cap sleeves look good on any woman. Certainly not on me. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/125 "2006-02-03T16:22:20Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > I’m not sure that cap sleeves look good on any woman. Certainly not on me. You have to have very thin arms to pull off cap sleeves. Even on a otherwise thin woman, cap sleeves basically highlight a very large muscle of the arm/shoulder. Not a pretty look if you don’t have stick arms. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/126 "2006-02-03T17:15:35Z")
> [@kim ney](#): > > Strapless anything, dress, shoes, purse. Bra-freekin’-vo. I hate shoes without backs or straps. Way too much work for me. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/127 "2006-02-03T17:17:53Z")
> [@UrbanChic](#): > > You have to have very thin arms to pull off cap sleeves. Even on a otherwise thin woman, cap sleeves basically highlight a very large muscle of the arm/shoulder. Not a pretty look if you don’t have stick arms. Cap sleeves are great on thin women. But one ounce of fat and you’re sunk. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/128 "2006-02-04T01:05:41Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Cap sleeves are great on thin women. But one ounce of fat and you’re sunk. What’s the solution here? My arms aren’t fat, just wobbly. It’s as hot as hades here lately and I must be the only woman of _any_ age who isn’t getting around in sleeveless tops. I’ve always thought sleeveless was for younger, tauter arms so I’m wearing short sleeves, some of which are cap. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/129 "2006-02-04T02:22:47Z")
This is just the professional list. Large belt buckles. Blue shirts with white collars and white cuffs. These absolutely reek of middle management hackery. Pink, yellow, and orange. A shirt can only have two colors. Perhaps three, if two shades of blue and white are involved. Anything more is a professional travesty. Shoes with square toes. Brown shoes. Three button suits. Only two buttons, if you please. Double breasted jackets. Inadequately tailored clothes. Seersucker. Horizontal stripes. Patterns. _Any_ patterns. Any jewelry apart from my 3m wedding band and cufflinks. Artificial fibers. Undershirts that are visible when the top button is open. Fake leather. Bowties, bola ties, or wide ties. For what it’s worth, I _love_ turtlenecks. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/130 "2006-02-04T03:47:52Z")
Tweed. Tweed makes people look like bag ladies. All people. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/131 "2006-02-04T05:26:24Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] I won’t wear jeans. I only owned one pair since my teens, and that was because I had to wear them for a play I was in. I don’t have a pair now. QUOTE] I’m with you on this to the death! My heart breaks that there are so few similar comments on these scabs-upon-the-face-of civilization monstrosities. What are we, a nation of miners or farmers? Isn’t civilization supposed to PROGRESS? Are we raising our children to wear jeans!!! No, no, it must not be allowed to stand!!! ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/132 "2006-02-04T05:38:54Z")
Anything that looks like curtains. Or Drapes. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/133 "2006-02-04T11:05:02Z")
I won’t wear: Yellow Orange Pastels Pantyhose Girdles Underwires Heels higher than 3" (7 cm) Platforms Wigs Short skirts Shorts Gauchos Nonthongs Nylon (as far as possible; it isn’t easy to find non-nylon sheer hosiery, though) PVC - this stuff just does not look like humanwear Low-rise jeans or Mom jeans (medium rise only; hipbone height is where it belongs) Fat bling chains Suit & tie (especially the tie) Anything frumpy. If you ever see me starting to frump out, please shoot me. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/134 "2006-02-04T11:43:18Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > I won’t wear: > > Yellow > Orange > Pastels > Pantyhose > Girdles > Underwires > Heels higher than 3" (7 cm) > Platforms > Wigs > Short skirts > Shorts > Gauchos > Nonthongs > Nylon (as far as possible; it isn’t easy to find non-nylon sheer hosiery, though) > PVC - this stuff just does not look like humanwear > Low-rise jeans or Mom jeans (medium rise only; hipbone height is where it belongs) > Fat bling chains > Suit & tie (especially the tie) > Anything frumpy. If you ever see me starting to frump out, please shoot me. I may have to shoot you based on that list. Girdles? Wigs? Fat bling chains? Were they ever a good thing you frump 😉 But what is wrong with shorts? If you are on your way to the beach it would be fairly daft to have more on then a pair of shorts and a tshirt (over a bathing suit). Heels above a certain height? Surely all heels should be tarred with the same brush. I like flats only but I’m sure heel lovers don’t stop to measure them. Underwires? If you mean underwire bras then you are blessed with little in the boob department. Your average non sports or underwire bra does nothing but drape a bit of fabric over the boobs. Boobs like underwires. Platforms? Yes I agree, obviously both of us are old enough to remember them the first time round BUT let the kiddies have their fun! Gauchos, I had never heard that term before this thread. I take it they are 3/4 length pants. If they are frumpy and frumpy means being shot then it is time to declare war on New Zealand. I work in an all female workplace (it’s not compulsary, that is just how it happened), it is summer, shorts are not quite workplace enough but 3/4 pants are. Yesterday only 2 out of the 25 at my workplace were not wearing some form of 3/4 length pants. Age range? 19-48. Low-rise jeans or Mom jeans (medium rise only; hipbone height is where it belongs). Whilst I tend to agree with you, there are far to many people who think wandering around like a human muffin is a good thing. What on earth is a nonthong? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/135 "2006-02-04T11:58:27Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Gauchos, I had never heard that term before this thread. I take it they are 3/4 length pants. If they are frumpy and frumpy means being shot then it is time to declare war on New Zealand. I work in an all female workplace (it’s not compulsary, that is just how it happened), it is summer, shorts are not quite workplace enough but 3/4 pants are. Yesterday only 2 out of the 25 at my workplace were not wearing some form of 3/4 length pants. Age range? 19-48. I think your 3/4 pants are “capris” here. The gaucho is 3/4 length, but the legs are very wide, and hang like a skirt, except that they have two separate legs. [http://www.bostonproper.com/jump.jsp?itemID=4223&itemType=PRODUCT&AS=1&keyword=gaucho](http://www.bostonproper.com/jump.jsp?itemID=4223&itemType=PRODUCT&AS=1&keyword=gaucho) They’re hideous. > [@](#): > > What on earth is a nonthong? Underwear that isn’t a thong. Guaranteed TPL if worn with some fabrics. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/136 "2006-02-04T14:10:26Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Any jewelry apart from my 3m wedding band… You must have very large hands 😃 ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/137 "2006-02-04T14:16:23Z")
Or his wedding band is made of Scotch Tape. (mfr: 3M) ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/138 "2006-02-04T16:33:04Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Girdles? Wigs? Fat bling chains? Were they ever a good thing you frump 😉 No, you ninny. 😉 They’re so obviously things none of _us_ cool people would ever wear, that it’s practically superfluous to even list them here. So I listed them just to make us grateful for the sartorial tortures we are bypassing. > [@](#): > > But what is wrong with shorts? Nothing! I’m just not a shorts person. > [@](#): > > If you are on your way to the beach …I would wear one of those light cotton gypsy skirts, long and flowing, with plenty of air circulating inside. More comfortable than shorts, and cuts more of an elegant figure. > [@](#): > > Underwires? If you mean underwire bras then you are blessed with little in the boob department. Your average non sports or underwire bra does nothing but drape a bit of fabric over the boobs. Boobs like underwires. That’s true. I like having small boobs; one more thing I meant to add to the list was implants. I was conscious that not everyone can go without underwires, and thought of acknowledging that in a parenthetical remark, but didn’t want to make my list too wordy. Understood that these are just our individual tastes (IMHO), not a categorical imperative for all womankind. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/139 "2006-02-04T17:18:15Z")
Tennis shoes (except at the gym) Sweatpants or sweatshirts Granny panties Gold turtlenecks Business suits Shoes without some kind of heel Flesh-toned pantyhose Floral anything Plaid anything Most colors except black, white, and jean ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336/140 "2006-02-04T18:00:04Z")
> [@calm kiwi](#): > > Heels above a certain height? Surely all heels should be tarred with the same brush. I like flats only but I’m sure heel lovers don’t stop to measure them. I do. (Well, not measure them, but I take it into consideration.) Anything over 2.5 inches isn’t office appropriate, and anything over 3.5 inches isn’t appropriate for anything other than dancing around a pole. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-wont-you-wear/342336.md?page=8)