# What would a frictionless surface feel like? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [December 22, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385 "2008-12-22T23:24:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/41 "2008-12-23T23:20:20Z")
After seeing the post following my previous post, I’ve changed my mind. Instead of calling our wonder material Nonfrictionlon, let’s call it **Telperion**! (Sorry about that, but it just _sounds_ so right.) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/42 "2008-12-23T23:27:17Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > So let’s presume we’re working with solid Nonfrictionlon. What you do is mold threaded screwholes into the object when you cast it. Torque down the screws tight enough and tension/compression should hold 'em in place. Only if they’re screwed through into some material that isn’t non-friction stuff. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter how tight you torque them - they can’t jam solid against something that by definition offers no grip. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/43 "2008-12-23T23:38:00Z")
> [@glee](#): > > Smoooooooooth! Well done. Here is your Certificate of Certified Scienceness[sup]TM[/sup]. Please pick up your Official Glasses and Lab Coat of Certified Scienceness[sup]TM[/sup] at the door as you exit. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/44 "2008-12-23T23:46:40Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > After seeing the post following my previous post, I’ve changed my mind. Instead of calling our wonder material Nonfrictionlon, let’s call it **Telperion**! > > (Sorry about that, but it just _sounds_ so right.) I’m flattered, but unfortunately I can’t take credit as I have borrowed the name from Silmarillion, where it was one of the trees of Valinor. How about if we call it Telperium instead? ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/45 "2008-12-24T00:16:27Z")
“I wish to lodge a complaint about the special unobtainium Fleshlight[sup]TM[/sup] what I purchased from this very shop not 2 hours ago…”[sup]\*[/sup] \*[sub]If you don’t know what a Fleshlight is, don’t Google at work.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/46 "2008-12-24T00:25:29Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Only if they’re screwed through into some material that isn’t non-friction stuff. > > Otherwise, it doesn’t matter how tight you torque them - they can’t jam solid against something that by definition offers no grip. Here’s my thinking: Part A has a hole in it. Part B has a threaded hole in it. Slip your screw through the hole in Part A and into the threaded hole in Part B. Screw vigorously. Soon Parts A and B will be in contact with each other. Now I’m no Einstein, but it seems to me that if you turn the screw some more, Parts A and B will assume a state of compression against each other (has to do with some silly rule against two pieces of matter occupying the same space at the same time). At the same time, A and B should put some tension on the screw as they try to push away from each other. I take it you’re thinking the lack of friction on the Part B threads would cause the screw to unscrew as soon as you stop torqueing it. Meh; could be. Still seems to me the compression/tension combination would result in a stable state. Is there a physicist in the house? ---
**Author:** ![Fubaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@Fubaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fubaya)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/47 "2008-12-24T00:27:24Z")
It would be simple to attach the nonfriction surfaces together by using rivets, rivnuts, or something like expanding wall anchors ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/48 "2008-12-24T01:00:45Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Here’s my thinking: Part A has a hole in it. Part B has a threaded hole in it. Slip your screw through the hole in Part A and into the threaded hole in Part B. Screw vigorously. Soon Parts A and B will be in contact with each other. Now I’m no Einstein, but it seems to me that if you turn the screw some more, Parts A and B will assume a state of compression against each other (has to do with some silly rule against two pieces of matter occupying the same space at the same time). At the same time, A and B should put some tension on the screw as they try to push away from each other. > > I take it you’re thinking the lack of friction on the Part B threads would cause the screw to unscrew as soon as you stop torqueing it. Meh; could be. Still seems to me the compression/tension combination would result in a stable state. > > Is there a physicist in the house? I don’t think it would work - the tension in the screw is just going to act like a stretched spring and force the thing to come undone, against which it has no resistance - unscrewing the thread would always be ‘downhill’ for the screw threads in such a scenario, and there’s no resistance to going there. Some sort of cam-based fasteners might work - if they are the sort where they pull tight, then turn beyond tight to go a little loose, but locked - in order for those to undo, they’re have to go back through a tightened mode. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/49 "2008-12-24T02:03:06Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I don’t think it would work - the tension in the screw is just going to act like a stretched spring and force the thing to come undone, against which it has no resistance - unscrewing the thread would always be ‘downhill’ for the screw threads in such a scenario, and there’s no resistance to going there. > > Some sort of cam-based fasteners might work - if they are the sort where they pull tight, then turn beyond tight to go a little loose, but locked - in order for those to undo, they’re have to go back through a tightened mode. Alternatively, it might work if we effectively make Part B a locknut by making the threads in it slightly smaller than the threads of the screw, thus creating compression between the B threads and the screw threads and discouraging the screw from turning without outside help. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/50 "2008-12-24T06:02:56Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > …On a side note, I ordered this table from Ikea, so I’ll have to assemble it myself… Not to worry, then. I’ve always had pretty good luck assembling Ikea furniture - they’ll have the joints and connections worked out pretty well, I think. Yes, sounds like it would be some ingenious thing with countersinks and cam nuts (the cam nuts themselves not frictionless) or something similar to provide the needed mechanical connections. Tounge and groove with stylish banding holding everything together, maybe. Anyhow, you’ll figure it out, and then you can look at the directions afterward. Hard to the touch, but if you press hard enough, you’ll start slipping good. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/51 "2008-12-24T13:11:47Z")
What would happen if my buddy and me pick up the frictionless table legs (lets say they have a friction-full part you can grip) and start beating each other with them? Would we just keep giving each other harmless glancing blows? ---
**Author:** ![Wiltshire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ea5d25/32.png) [@Wiltshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wiltshire)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/52 "2008-12-24T13:17:10Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > You would not be able to walk on it. You would step on and slide to the opposite side, possibly on your arse, after flailing about a bit, or possibly still standing up if you could manage to keep your legs fairly rigid. What I said. Exactly like that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/53 "2008-12-24T14:43:31Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > What would happen if my buddy and me pick up the frictionless table legs (lets say they have a friction-full part you can grip) and start beating each other with them? Would we just keep giving each other harmless glancing blows? 'Twould depend on the angle of attack. A glancing blow would truly be a glancing blow, but something dead-on should still transfer most of its energy. It’s all in the technique, as usual. (But, of course, you really shouldn’t try this at home, since Momma will ground ya.) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/54 "2008-12-24T19:03:09Z")
> [@](#): > > What would happen if my buddy and me pick up the frictionless table legs (lets say they have a friction-full part you can grip) and start beating each other with them? Would we just keep giving each other harmless glancing blows? Assuming they are not tapered, you’d have a hard time picking up the thing in the first place. You couldn’t hold it as a bat, it’d just slip right out from your palms. You’d have to lift it like a baby, or have your hand cupping one end of it while your other hand directs its motion. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/55 "2008-12-24T19:09:15Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Assuming they are not tapered, you’d have a hard time picking up the thing in the first place. You couldn’t hold it as a bat, it’d just slip right out from your palms. You’d have to lift it like a baby, or have your hand cupping one end of it while your other hand directs its motion. Are statements in parentheses invisible to you? ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/56 "2008-12-24T19:10:00Z")
Well, now, this brings up and interesting question for me - is there any difference between a frictionless surface being contacted by a frictionful one, and two frictionless surfaces in contact? How would they be any different? ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/57 "2008-12-24T19:11:40Z")
I just want to say that I know \*exactly \*what a frictionless surface feels like. It was on my front steps this morning. Good thing there was a modicum of friction on the railings. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/58 "2008-12-24T22:56:54Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Alternatively, it might work if we effectively make Part B a locknut by making the threads in it slightly smaller than the threads of the screw, thus creating compression between the B threads and the screw threads and discouraging the screw from turning without outside help. It wouldn’t be possible with frictionless materials - tight or loose doesn’t make any difference (and here, we’re starting to rub up against the real reasons why a truly, absolutely frictionless material is not possible). ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/59 "2008-12-24T23:43:17Z")
You want frictionless? Take some Rain-X tm, wet some leather soled shoes and walk on polished granite floor with it. It’s as slick as you could get. I once walked through a bottle that spiiled on the floor, spanish tile it was, and I was on my ass like it was a cartoon. I know guys who race cars that take off thier windshield wipers and apply it to their windshields, as well as the rest of the car. Not even dust will stick to it even with just a light breeze. ---
**Author:** ![Category5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Category5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Category5)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385/60 "2008-12-25T03:15:09Z")
duct tape it together. done [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-frictionless-surface-feel-like/478385.md?page=4)