# What would a GOOD Christmas horror movie/novel be about?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [January 15, 2009, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359 "2009-01-15T01:46:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/21 "2009-01-15T12:15:52Z")

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> [@Sampiro](#):
>
> Work in Nellie Oleson, Lyme disease, and an ostrich somewhere for real terror.

Aw dude, don’t bring little Nellie Oleson into this. That’s just…_wrong_.

I’m surprised no one has mentioned Christopher Moore’s [The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror](http://www.amazon.com/Stupidest-Angel-Heartwarming-Christmas-Terror/dp/0060842350/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232021567&sr=1-4). Can’t beat zombies on Christmas!

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**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/22 "2009-01-15T12:57:49Z")

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There are already a lot out there. My son and his friends (all mid-20s), had a 12 days of chrustmas this past December with a different Christmas horror film for each day. They weren’t consecutive but they got the twelve in before the actual day.

Two Front Teeth" and “Santa’s Slay” were favorites but possibly in the so-bad-its-good category.

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/23 "2009-01-15T13:09:33Z")

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> [@Sefton](#):
>
> Aw dude, don’t bring little Nellie Oleson into this. That’s just…_wrong_.

Like Allison Arngrim wouldn’t jump on this in a minute.

THE YULE LOG- Young Christian couple go out to rural village in December to build a mission church & reach out to aloof locals with Christmas presents & festivities & food giveaways, then they realize the locals celebrate Winter Solstice in more ancient ways, also involving maidens, evergreens & burning.

Maybe I can sell this idea to Robin Hardy.

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/24 "2009-01-15T14:09:51Z")

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[This.](http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Image:XmasStory.png)

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**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/25 "2009-01-15T14:43:48Z")

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I think there are one or two horror stories in Connie Willis’s collection _Miracle and Other Christmas Stories_. I remember something about a guy trapped in a toy store.

I like the one where Joseph and a heavily pregnant Mary show up on a modern church doorstep one evening during the chaos of a dress rehearsal for the Christmas play, having gotten seriously lost in space and time on their way to Bethlehem, and one of the choir members stashes them away in various spots around the church to keep the assistant pastor from calling the homeless van to come and take them away.

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**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/26 "2009-01-15T15:41:14Z")

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Hard to stretch out to full movie length, but maybe a “Trilogy of Christmas Terror” segment?: A guy decides to really try to go down a chimney on Christmas Eve, and discovers it’s not as easy as it looks.

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**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/27 "2009-01-15T15:59:39Z")

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> [@Sr\_Siete](#):
>
> Terrifiel is right. The Old World, unadulterated Santa is pretty horrifying…

No kidding. You have it pretty rough when your Santa is accompanied by [6 to 8 Black Men](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCUHTDrca4s&feature=related) who are going to stuff you in a bag pretend kick you and beat you with a switch.

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/28 "2009-01-15T16:01:05Z")

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Terry Pratchett’s Discworld has The Hogfather, who flies over the world in his sleigh pulled by boars on Hogswatch Night, filling the wishes of children. His origins, however, are much more nasty, brutish and short.

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/29 "2009-01-15T16:06:10Z")

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> [@WarmNPrickly](#):
>
> No kidding. You have it pretty rough when your Santa is accompanied by [6 to 8 Black Men](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCUHTDrca4s&feature=related) who are going to stuff you in a bag pretend kick you and beat you with a switch.

Don’t forget those countries in which the Six to Eight Black Men is combined into one horrific figure… SCHWARTZE-PIETER (BLACK PETER)!

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-a-good-christmas-horror-movie-novel-be-about/481359/30 "2009-01-15T16:07:15Z")

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> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> Hard to stretch out to full movie length, but maybe a “Trilogy of Christmas Terror” segment?: A guy decides to really try to go down a chimney on Christmas Eve, and discovers it’s not as easy as it looks.

And Karen Black unwraps a festive Santa-hatted ZUNI FETISH DOLL!!!

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