# What would be in a Hell masquerading as Heaven? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2025, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135 "2025-06-25T20:06:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/1 "2025-06-25T20:06:05Z")
Let’s pretend the conventional ideas of heaven and hell are real. Let’s also pretend the Devil is a trickster and will make people think there in Heaven but actually in Hell just as a joke. So what passive things that seem good but are actually bad would he do? I was thinking All you can eat crackers and charcuterie when you first arrive, but all the drink fountains are temporarily out of order the entire time. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/2 "2025-06-25T20:18:41Z")
Have you seen the TV show [The Good Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Place)? It nailed it. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/3 "2025-06-25T20:24:00Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Have you seen the TV show [The Good Place](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Good_Place)? It nailed it I was going to suggest the same thing: Season 1 of that series was essentially the premise in the OP, including: - Outwardly very nice fellow residents, who are actually kind of obnoxious - Fun activities that turn out to be disappointing - A stupidly large number of frozen-yogurt shops, all of which have groanworthy, dad-joke-level punny names ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/4 "2025-06-25T20:26:57Z")
Fake _good_ news. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/5 "2025-06-25T20:30:03Z")
My ex GFs would be there, looking as hot as ever. But I’m still not getting any. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/6 "2025-06-25T20:32:48Z")
The band in Heaven, they play my favorite song They play it once again, they play it all night long Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens —Talking Heads ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/7 "2025-06-25T20:35:00Z")
I’m pretty sure the doorman of this Hell masquerading as Heaven would tell me I couldn’t bring my dog. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/8 "2025-06-25T20:36:19Z")
It would be whatever you want, but far more than you want. An ice cream lover being forced to eat many gallons of ice cream per day, endlessly. You like sex? Now you must have it 200 times per day. Etc. ---
**Author:** ![SoToasty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sotoasty/32/2803_2.png) [@SoToasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoToasty)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/9 "2025-06-25T20:37:42Z")
I was thinking just the opposite… every bite you tried to take would fall on the floor… ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/10 "2025-06-25T20:40:23Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > An ice cream lover being forced to eat many gallons of ice cream per day, endlessly. I think that was part of the frozen-yogurt joke in _The Good Place_: everyone loves ice cream, and frozen yogurt is kind of like ice cream, but disappointing in comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/11 "2025-06-25T20:45:19Z")
Oh, okay. I haven’t seen that show. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/12 "2025-06-25T20:50:13Z")
Highly recommended. I saw the topic title, and was going to respond “Ted Danson”. ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/13 "2025-06-25T22:46:19Z")
I always go back to the old Twilight Zone episode. The criminal goes to “heaven”, and finds that he wins at all the games - craps, blackjack, slots, whatever. First, he’s ecstatic. Then… he’s bored. Always winning has no challenge. And for the rest of eternity, he only wins. Cue Rod Serling… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/14 "2025-06-25T22:51:01Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > I think that was part of the frozen-yogurt joke in _The Good Place_: everyone loves ice cream, and frozen yogurt is kind of like ice cream, but disappointing in comparison. “There is something so human in taking something great like ice cream, and making it a tinier bit worse so you can have more of it.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/15 "2025-06-25T23:19:23Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > It would be whatever you want, but far more than you want. > > An ice cream lover being forced to eat many gallons of ice cream per day, endlessly. > > You like sex? Now you must have it 200 times per day. > > Etc. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/LtEFEdrrXc4/hqdefault.jpg "Homer's Donut Hell") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtEFEdrrXc4) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/16 "2025-06-25T23:25:20Z")
Welcome to heaven! You will live forever, you are invulnerable from any harm, death or decay. The universe is not. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/17 "2025-06-25T23:31:14Z")
White-haired Sebastian Cabot: _“Mr. Valentine… this **is** the other place!”_ ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2025, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/18 "2025-06-25T23:51:59Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > You like sex? Now you must have it 200 times per day. _Damnation by snu-snu!_ ---
**Author:** ![Noelq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noelq/32/16438_2.png) [@Noelq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noelq)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/19 "2025-06-26T00:12:42Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#): > > White-haired Sebastian Cabot: _“Mr. Valentine… this **is** the other place!”_ THAT’S the one! That, and Burgess Meredith sitting on the library steps with broken glasses… ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/20 "2025-06-26T00:16:37Z")
I think Piers Anthony did a good job in the Incarnations of Immortality series where it was an illusion of whatever you wanted. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135.md?page=2)