# What would be in a Hell masquerading as Heaven? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2025, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135 "2025-06-25T20:06:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/21 "2025-06-26T00:16:55Z")
I wouldn’t anymore. The reveal is one of the best twists in TV history, but I think the show is only like 6.5/10 otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/22 "2025-06-26T00:44:22Z")
I for one thought it was great from start to finish. For me it would be: I get to be a student forever, studying anything I like for as long as I want, but I would never be graded. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/23 "2025-06-26T01:15:48Z")
> [@Johanna](#): > > The band in Heaven, they play my favorite song > They play it once again, they play it all night long > Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens > —Talking Heads [But what if I’m not a Backstreet Boys fan?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFxnjxnrRVs) ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/24 "2025-06-26T01:20:21Z")
Your hell is not being graded?! ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/25 "2025-06-26T01:22:02Z")
Maybe you could bribe him with a frog keychain? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/26 "2025-06-26T01:29:35Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I for one thought it was great from start to finish. Yeah, definitely a top-ten all time TV show for me. > [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Your hell is not being graded?! [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/pZ9cWquU1ks/maxresdefault.jpg "Brennan Lee Mulligan's Point System Rant - Animated") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ9cWquU1ks) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/27 "2025-06-26T01:29:36Z")
Let’s just say I was a bit academically competitive. My husband enjoys grading me for everyday things I do, usually assigning me an A- or B+ just to get under my skin. But I think _not knowing_ how well I was doing would be so much worse. More broadly you can sum up my existential angst as: “Am I doing this right?” ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/28 "2025-06-26T01:38:52Z")
Coffee breaks during the tour A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice.” So, the man opened the first door and saw a room full of people, standing on their heads on a concrete floor. Not very nice, he thought. Opening the second door, he saw a room full of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Better, he thought, but best to check the last door. Upon opening the last door, he saw a room full of people, standing waist-deep in excrement and sipping coffee. “Of the three, this one looks best,” he said and waded in to get something to drink while Satan closed the door. A few minutes later the door opened, Satan stuck his head in and said, “Ok, coffee break’s over, back on your heads!” ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/29 "2025-06-26T01:47:35Z")
You post the right answer for every question, query, and debate on the Straight Dope, but no one else there believes you. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/30 "2025-06-26T12:45:30Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > All you can eat crackers and charcuterie when you first arrive Plus you can only eat the crackers in bed. And you never get to brush the crumbs out. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/31 "2025-06-26T13:16:44Z")
Any televangelist. 😐 ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/32 "2025-06-26T13:25:38Z")
It’s like the genie who distorts wishes, you get everything you ever want, but they misunderstand the request just enough to disappoint you. A beautiful lover who always does that one move that’s awkward, slightly painful, and not at all pleasurable. All the ice cream you want, but it’s a flavor you don’t like. Thousands of new books to read, which are all third-rate derivative ripoffs of better novels. TV shows with bad lighting and weird sound balance. Music that is all covers of your favorite songs, but changed just enough to make them worse. Your favorite meals, that are always overcooked, undercooked, too spicy or too bland. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/33 "2025-06-26T13:33:31Z")
AKA, the ongoing process of “enshittification,” as outlined by Cory Doctorow. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/34 "2025-06-26T16:47:32Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > For me it would be: I get to be a student forever, studying anything I like for as long as I want, but I would never be graded. Being a perpetual student would be heaven for me; my time in college was one of the best times of my life. I was never academically competitive in terms of needing for my work to be graded. I found satisfaction in researching facts, analyzing things, and preparing reports. An occasional “Good job!” from a teacher was nice, particularly if it was accompanied by being presented to others as an example of how to do something. ---
**Author:** ![FrenchDunadan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frenchdunadan/32/5449_2.png) [@FrenchDunadan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrenchDunadan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/35 "2025-06-26T17:26:16Z")
> [@Kropotkin](#): > > You post the right answer for every question, query, and debate on the Straight Dope, but no one else there believes you. No, I don’t believe it 😁 👹 ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/36 "2025-06-26T18:45:44Z")
I knew it! I just knew it! Darn you all to heck! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/37 "2025-06-26T19:59:57Z")
A 79 year old virgin. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/38 "2025-06-26T20:04:05Z")
That was a Twilight Zone episode, [“The Hunt”](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0734646/), with Arthur Hunnicutt. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2025, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/39 "2025-06-26T21:35:47Z")
Preachers. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2025, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135/40 "2025-06-28T20:02:41Z")
Unavoidable Muzak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-in-a-hell-masquerading-as-heaven/1020135.md?page=3)