# What would be the biggest news story? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985 "2005-04-06T03:17:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/1 "2005-04-06T03:17:28Z")
What if these 3 things happened on the same day which one would get the most coverage? Terry Schiavo didn’t die but instead came out of her “coma” and wanted to give a press conference. On this same day the Pope died and then also President Bush got shot in the leg by a crazy man but a non life threatening injury. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/2 "2005-04-06T03:24:14Z")
I’d say Terri coming out of her condition (it was a persistent vegetative state, not a coma)-because it would be a freaking miracle-literally, it would have to have been a miracle. ---
**Author:** ![NotWithoutRage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/22d042/32.png) [@NotWithoutRage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotWithoutRage)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/3 "2005-04-06T03:28:33Z")
President being shot. Without a doubt. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/4 "2005-04-06T05:51:13Z")
President being shot. Heads of state have higher name recognition. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/5 "2005-04-06T06:44:33Z")
President being shot, easily. Terry _Who_? His Holiness the _What_? Iran shot the President?!? Invade!! ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/6 "2005-04-06T13:15:19Z")
President shooting, without a doubt. The other stuff would be big in normal times but the shooting of a president would force it all ‘under the flap’. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/7 "2005-04-06T13:29:08Z")
Well, in terms of intensity, it would be bigger if the shooting was over a political reason. If it was simply to impress some starlet, and he survived, it would be on the news, but it wouldn’t last as long. 🙂 (remember the 80s?) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/8 "2005-04-06T13:46:49Z")
Shooting the President, hands down. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/9 "2005-04-06T13:49:31Z")
An asteroid about to hit the Earth and wipe out life as we know it. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/10 "2005-04-06T13:57:17Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > An asteroid about to hit the Earth and wipe out life as we know it. The classic New York Times headline: WORLD TO END TOMORROW Women, minorities most seriously affected ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/11 "2005-04-06T14:21:34Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > An asteroid about to hit the Earth and wipe out life as we know it. I thought we had to choose out of the three offered. If not, then I’m going with JESUS MARRIED TO BROTHERS OF HANSEN IN VEGAS COURT ROOM MIXUP. ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/12 "2005-04-06T14:27:10Z")
> [@js\_africanus](#): > > I thought we had to choose out of the three offered. If not, then I’m going with JESUS MARRIED TO BROTHERS OF HANSEN… _Brothers!_ You mean to tell me…? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/13 "2005-04-06T14:32:09Z")
President gets shot, definitely. Not only would it be the “big story” but there would be plenty of space for comments from Democrats, a big map of the route the President was walking, a question about why the Secret Service can’t stop people like that, and a spirited debate about whether current gun laws are adequate to keep a crazy man from getting a gun and shooting the President. Terry Schaivo gets what’s left of the newscast. We’ll try and say something about the Pope tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/14 "2005-04-06T15:06:15Z")
President Bush assassinated. Aliens land on Earth. Proof found for existance of God. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/15 "2005-04-06T15:25:58Z")
Headline: “TERRY SCHIAVO AWAKES, FATALLY SHOOTS POPE. BUSH CAUGHT IN CROSSFIRE.” ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/16 "2005-04-06T15:40:24Z")
In order to bring about the perfect storm of news stories, you need a little something from each of the multimedia news food groups: Politics – usually US politics Religion Sex Disaster So something like, “Bush Wins Surprise Papal Appointment, Cardinals Swayed by Michael Jackson and ‘Boy Tsunami’ Bash at Neverland” would work. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/17 "2005-04-06T16:48:03Z")
At least one front page would have three columns, with the president front and center, Terri on the left and His Holiness on the right. More people would buy to read about Terry than the Pope, but no editor would want to endure the backlash (and lost ad bucks) that would appen if they put the Pope below Terry, and nothing would run over a Presidential assassination attempt in “M’merica.” Knowing my local paper, they would probably put all three stories in the lower half of the front page, underneath a feature on how some neighborhoods are decorating the street medians, or such. ---
**Author:** ![xbuckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9e8a1a/32.png) [@xbuckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xbuckeye)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/18 "2005-04-06T17:01:15Z")
Not to be contrary…but I am guessing that Schaivo would because there would be constant news camera feed of her doing new things like smiling at her husband, petting a puppy, eating jello, etc. The pope would still be dead and the President would still be resting comfortably at his Crawford Texas ranch. Terri would be going for her first walk in 15 years and eating ice cream and telling us everything she thought about for the last 15 years to keep herself occupied. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/19 "2005-04-06T19:03:56Z")
> [@xbuckeye](#): > > Not to be contrary…but I am guessing that Schaivo would because there would be constant news camera feed of her doing new things like smiling at her husband, petting a puppy, eating jello, etc. Never underestimate the desire or ability of a TV news organization (particularly a cable news channel) to run the same two seconds of footage overandoverandoverandoverandoverandover… ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985/20 "2005-04-06T21:01:20Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > President gets shot, definitely. > > Not only would it be the “big story” but there would be plenty of space for comments from Democrats, a big map of the route the President was walking, a question about why the Secret Service can’t stop people like that, and a spirited debate about whether current gun laws are adequate to keep a crazy man from getting a gun and shooting the President. And on Fox, we’d have Bill O’Reilly telling us about how the Secret Service security detail was weakened under Bill Clinton’s administration, Sean Hannity interviewing talking heads from six conservative think-tanks insisting that we must invade Iran now to show our unwavering resolve, video clips of President Bush valiantly giving a thumbs-up to show his good spirits, Dick Cheney urging for additional measures in PATRIOT ACT III, _Fox & Friends_ denouncing Michael Moore for leading the decay of America’s moral fabric to this state of affairs, and special guest commentator Ann Coulter urging the immediate creation of “liberty camps” for interring all non-Republicans. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-biggest-news-story/297985.md?page=2)