# What would be the "Nerd Anthem"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 22, 2003, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043 "2003-09-22T07:01:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TwoOnes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eb8c5e/32.png) [@TwoOnes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoOnes)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/21 "2003-09-22T22:25:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*If you want a Devo song I would use Beautiful World. > > Or Turning Japanese. > > **Look@hergo!** I hope those are not the complete lyrics to that song. \*\* Turning Japanses was done by The Vapors. I am such a nerd! ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/22 "2003-09-22T22:36:21Z")
Bad Religion’s _I Love My Computer_. ---
**Author:** ![Yersinia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6bbea6/32.png) [@Yersinia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yersinia)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/23 "2003-09-22T22:43:30Z")
Depends on what kind of nerd you are. These are three I’d nominate for physics, chemistry and microbiology nerds. * * * Sing to the tune of “Home On The Range.” Oh, give me a locus where the gravitons focus Where the three-body problem is solved, Where the microwaves play down at three degrees K, And the cold virus never evolved. (chorus) CHORUS: Home, home on LaGrange, Where the space debris always collects, We possess, so it seems, two of Man’s greatest dreams: Solar power and zero-gee sex. We eat algea pie, our vacuum is high, Our ball bearings are perfectly round. Our horizon is curved, our warheads are MIRVed, And a kilogram weighs half a pound. (chorus) If we run out of space for our burgeoning race No more Lebensraum left for the Mensch When we’re ready to start, we can take Mars apart, If we just find a big enough wrench. (chorus) I’m sick of this place, it’s just McDonald’s in space, And living up here is a bore. Tell the shiggies, “Don’t cry,” they can kiss me goodbye 'Cause I’m moving next week to L4! (chorus) * * * Sing to the tune of “America The Beautiful” – The carbonyl is polarized, The delta end is plus. The nucleophile will thus attack, The carbon nucleus. Addition makes an alcohol, Of types there are but three. It makes a bond, to correspond, From C to shining C. * * * Spreading My Favorite Disease (Melody: A Few of my Favorite Things) Eat uncooked chicken and raw pork for dinner Don’t wash your hands first and you’ll be the winner of Campylobacter, trichina worm eggs You won’t be able to stand on your legs Your bowels are bursting while you’re in the pool Empty them now and leave brown trails of stool The water’s now tainted, your belly’s at ease Look out, you’re spreading my favorite disease Salmonella And Shigella Klebsiella, too Explode from your butt like a terrorist’s bomb, be glad you don’t have the flu! Mycobacterium tuberculosis Is a great deal worse than bad halitosis Chest pain and coughing and hocking up phlegm Airborne transmission, now pass it to them Mug one of your neighbors with a rusty knife Clostridium toxin which will take his life The tetanus toxin will lock shut his jaw This will prevent him from calling the law Make your dog bite Transmit rabies Get some plague rats, too With proper skill you will spread a disease that won’t be helped by hot soup Sometimes microbes can be fun for a reason Their by-products stink and they ooze from your lesions Putrescine causes stench corpses decay All ‘cause of arginine dihydrolase Pustulent blisters from which microbes issue Neutrophils gather round infected tissue The body’s defenses, they don’t always work Sneaky bacteria hide and they lurk Swirl that flask now Pour its contents Splash that jerk you hate All he needs now is a horrible case of flesh eating strep in his face! Go to the Third World and bring home a virus Hemorrhagic fever, perhaps meningitis How ‘bout a prion for brains like kuru What lovely disease shall I pass on to you? Aedes aegypti, a vector mosquito Let’s send infected ones to Escondido The dumb airheads there will think dengue’s so cool We surely won’t miss such a bunch of damn fools Find receptors On the neurons Of your enemy Design a virus to exactly match, and he will be dead, you see. Syphilis is quite a nasty infection You can transmit it by showing affection Have you a past lover you’d like to avenge? Then ask him if he’d like to see you again Skunks, voles and possums and vampire bats, Squirrels, mice and chipmunks, and don’t forget rats Spread hanta and rabies plus bubonic plague Tularemia, typhus, and maybe the ague. Peromyscus Oryzomys Our little fuzzy friends Their ticks and excreta transmit the diseases that bring us to our end. ---
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/24 "2003-09-22T23:05:19Z")
How about Tom Lehrer’s Elements Song? ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/25 "2003-09-22T23:17:46Z")
_Through Being Cool_, by Devo, most definitely. “If you live in a big place, you might meet a dozen or two young alien types who step out and dare to declare: 'We’re through being cool!” Also _Time Out For Fun_ is a good one. Every time I hear that song I can’t help but jump with joy! “Don’t you lose it, now listen to us, everything’s gonna be alright! Take a break, make some time, everything’s gonna be alright! Don’t you lose it, remember to take Time Out For Fun!” Good advice. ---
**Author:** ![look\_hergo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@look\_hergo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_hergo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/26 "2003-09-23T00:19:44Z")
Zebra – yes, those are the complete lyrics. I realize now that the comma at the end left it a bit ambiguous. Perhaps you could add some more of your own to your liking? ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/27 "2003-09-23T00:33:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*_She Blinded Me With Science_ - Thomas Dolby \*\* Seconded. Which makes it especially humorous now that it’s on a shampoo commercial. Although, personally, I’d rather listen to Devo. ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/28 "2003-09-23T00:43:21Z")
Can’t believe the thread’s gotten this far with no mention of They Might be Giants - I Palindrome I immediately sprang to mind, followed closely by How Does the Sun Shine? and Particle Man. ---
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/29 "2003-09-23T01:30:28Z")
Devo and TMBG are both fine choices, but what about something by the Violent Femmes for the angry and depressed nerd? “Kiss Off”, maybe? Jon ---
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/30 "2003-09-23T01:44:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by fizgig \* > \*\*Can’t believe the thread’s gotten this far with no mention of They Might be Giants - I Palindrome I immediately sprang to mind, followed closely by How Does the Sun Shine? and Particle Man. \*\* If we’re gonna go with TMBG, I vote for “We Want A Rock”. Only the true nerds want to wear prosthetic foreheads on their real heads. And you know, we can’t forget about the [Dead Milkmen](http://www.deadmilkmen.com/) either. “Punk Rock Girl” is the ultimate nerd love song. Jon ---
**Author:** ![nitroglycerine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nitroglycerine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nitroglycerine)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/31 "2003-09-23T01:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nitroglycerine \* > \*\*Devo and TMBG are both fine choices, but what about something by the Violent Femmes for the angry and depressed nerd? “Kiss Off”, maybe? > > Jon \*\* Or even “Black Girls” for the sexually ambiguous christian nerd. Jon ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/32 "2003-09-23T01:51:22Z")
Also from TMBG, “James K. Polk”: “In 1844, the Democrats were split The three nominees for the presidential candidate Were Martin Van Buren, a former president and an abolitionist James Buchanan, a moderate Louis Cass, a general and expansionist From Nashville came a dark horse riding up He was James K. Polk, Napoleon of the Stump Austere, severe, he held few people dear His oratory filled his foes with fear The factions soon agreed He’s just the man we need.” Rush - “Vital Signs”: "Process information at half speed. Pause, rewind, replay, Warm memory chip, Random sample, hold the one you need. " Rush-“Natural Science”: “Science, like nature, Must also be tamed With a view towards its preservation. Given the same State of integrity, It will surely serve us well.” Kraftwerk - Pretty much the whole “Computer World” album, which featured such songs as “Computer Love,” “Home Computer,” and “It’s More Fun to Compute.” Songs on previous albums include “Geiger Counter” and “Ohm Sweet Ohm.” ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/33 "2003-09-23T02:36:46Z")
A nerd anthem would involve fractals. ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/34 "2003-09-23T03:11:21Z")
I think it should be either “We’re Knights of the Round Table” or “Brave Sir Robin,” both from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail._ 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DaddyTimesTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DaddyTimesTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaddyTimesTwo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/35 "2003-09-23T04:11:21Z")
**look@hergo!** , the point about posting complete lyrics is that it’s against board policy to do so, if it’s copyrighted. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/36 "2003-09-23T04:25:34Z")
What was the title of the universe song that Monty Python did? I especially liked the last line - “And pray that there’s intellegent life somewhere out in space because there’s bugger all down here on Earth.” ---
**Author:** ![look\_hergo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85e7bf/32.png) [@look\_hergo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_hergo)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/37 "2003-09-23T04:30:53Z")
Daddytimestwo – thanks for the “heads up”. I’m new here – I didn’t know. Never again. ---
**Author:** ![freerockNroll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@freerockNroll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freerockNroll)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/38 "2003-09-23T12:05:22Z")
What ever song is selected as the nerd anthem, Kenny Chesne would be my first pick to sing it. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/39 "2003-09-23T16:34:51Z")
People…People who don’t need people…are the luckiest people… ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043/40 "2003-09-23T18:51:31Z")
While those are all great, nobody has yet mention the ultimate Nerd Anthem. The one song which every nerd on Earth knows, can and will break out into randomly. That song is…The Imperial Death March. Dun dun dun, da dun dun, da dun dun… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-nerd-anthem/203043.md?page=1)