# What Would Be The Toughest Human Thing To Explain To Aliens? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2022, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782 "2022-06-24T18:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/21 "2022-06-25T06:37:56Z")
Our tendency (obsession?) to self-destruction. I mean, assuming an alien evolves via a similarly Darwinian experience, you’d expect a species ( especially one that is stable enough to send people to explore other worlds) to have mitigated or never had an issue where it fouled it’s own nest / overate to the point of ill health / used substances that caused organ failure / etc. But we do all of these things and more - both on individual and societal levels to the point that many of us think it may be too late to save ourselves. The mind boggles. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/22 "2022-06-25T07:05:47Z")
The fact that if you spent 15 years posting on a message board that automatically makes you King of the message board and other posters will literally be afraid of confronting you on the message boards even if you’re completely wrong. This happens on literally every single message board I’ve ever been part of. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/23 "2022-06-25T07:38:33Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Alien: So, who is the most famous human? > Human: Kim Kardashian. She makes fifty times more than the President. > Alien: Why? This is easy to explain, actually. The problem is, the explanation would cause the aliens either to dust off and mark our planet for permanent quarantine, or to just shrug and destroy us. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/24 "2022-06-25T07:48:11Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > Alien: So, who is the most famous human? > Human: Kim Kardashian. She makes fifty times more than the President. > Alien: Why? Wait, you mean you are sure KK is not an alien herself? Speaking of presidents, the last one would be an interesting case to try to explain too. If the aliens get _that_, they may understand a lot about humans. Except, perhaps, laughter. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/25 "2022-06-25T08:33:23Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > The infield fly rule. Nah, the infield fly rule is simple compared to the balk rule. I understand the fly rule, but have only the vaguest idea of what constitiutes a balk. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/26 "2022-06-25T10:07:29Z")
Porn So, you get full watching other humans eat too, then right? ---
**Author:** ![Lurking\_Quahog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lurking_quahog/32/21274_2.png) [@Lurking\_Quahog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lurking_Quahog)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/27 "2022-06-25T10:29:20Z")
The difference between there, their and they’re. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/28 "2022-06-25T11:28:22Z")
Quoting myself from a few years ago… Alien reporting to superiors: _Sir, we investigated the oceans first and discovered Earthlings there. We remain puzzled by their relationship with the planet’s water._ _They move about on machines known as “cruise ships”, but with no apparent transport purpose. While cloaked, we observed their behavior up close and can make no sense of it. They seem to abhor the water around them and construct the machines to ensure no contact with it. Then for reasons unknown, they have built large tanks of water on the ship’s decks, within which they splash around. But when perfectly good water begins falling from the sky (a regular occurrence on Earth) they immediately flee below decks to individual tiny boxes. And here it gets weird, they disrobe and enter a tiny sub-box within their individual box and stand under pipes which dump water on their heads. We remain confused, and humbly request permission to try another planet._ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/29 "2022-06-25T11:34:24Z")
> [@digs](#): > > > [@dirtball](#): > > > > If they don’t have laughter or something analogous, I’m not sure it would be possible to explain it. - > > I love SF stories where aliens can’t figure us out. One (from the 60s?) had a psychic alien’s journal with an entry to the effect of “There is this thing called LAFF that they do.I’ve never encountered a species with such joy. And the way they just empty their brains as they do it…” Good-Bye, Ilha! ([Lawrence Manning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laurence_Manning)) > **[Giants Unleashed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giants_Unleashed)** > > Giants Unleashed is an anthology of science fiction short stories edited by Groff Conklin. It was first published in hardcover by Grosset & Dunlap in 1965. A paperback edition followed from the publisher's Tempo Books imprint in April 1966. It was reprinted, minus the introduction and under the alternate title Minds Unleashed, in October 1970. > The book collects twelve novelettes and short stories by various science fiction authors, together with an introduction by the editor. The stories were pr... ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/30 "2022-06-25T12:58:31Z")
The book _The Three Body Problem_ had a scene in which the Aliens learned that humans have no problem lying. These aliens were incapable of communicating false thoughts, so they found the very idea of lying extremely disconcerting. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/31 "2022-06-25T13:06:25Z")
The Electoral College and the entire process we use to elect a temporary supreme leader. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/32 "2022-06-25T13:08:28Z")
Then explain why we have so many supreme leaders. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/33 "2022-06-25T13:13:04Z")
> [@Limmin](#): > > The book _The Three Body Problem_ had a scene in which the Aliens learned that humans have no problem lying. These aliens were incapable of communicating false thoughts, so they found the very idea of lying extremely disconcerting. So they didn’t understand the difference between something they thought was true and something that was factually false? Or they were incapable of believing something that was false? Sounds more like the latter. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/34 "2022-06-25T13:32:51Z")
Cribbed from Andy Weir’s latest book, but it’s something he talks about in interviews promoting his book, so I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler: Humans hide all of their bodily functions. We excrete in private, we practice reproduction in private, even minor excretions like flatulence, burps, or spit are considered uncouth to do around others. We avoid talking about all these bodily functions as much as possible in polite company. Except eating, when it comes to eating, we want to do it with others, we even make arrangements to gather as many together as possible to eat together for special events. We can’t stop talking about it, and discussions of the items that we stick into our faces take up a substantial amount of our time and our vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/35 "2022-06-25T14:06:22Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > **What would you choose?** In God We Trust ---
**Author:** ![LilXMo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lilxmo/32/4225_2.png) [@LilXMo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilXMo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/36 "2022-06-25T17:56:29Z")
SELFIES would be difficult to explain ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/37 "2022-06-25T18:16:36Z")
Alien: Wait, you thought we were probing your exhaust ports? Human leader: Heh, well, yeah. It made sense at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Moris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moris/32/2846_2.png) [@Moris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moris)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/38 "2022-06-25T19:07:40Z")
_So, is this what you’re saying? That group of people is destroying the properties, the communities and engaging in physical fights because they are …angry, unhappy and showing their frustration? That’s hard for us to grasp. What are they frustrated about?_ Their team had lost the game in which they are kicking an inflated spheroid with their less nimble body parts and trying to score points by placing it into a goalpost. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/39 "2022-06-25T19:11:21Z")
> [@Moris](#): > > Their team had lost the game in which they are kicking an inflated spheroid with their less nimble body parts and trying to score points by placing it into a goalpost. Okay, odd, but I can see that. So why are they doing the same thing in the city that _won_ the game? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2022, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782/40 "2022-06-25T19:16:04Z")
> [@LilXMo](#): > > SELFIES would be difficult to explain - Social media in general. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-be-the-toughest-human-thing-to-explain-to-aliens/966782.md?page=3)