# What would cow racism be like? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 15, 2013, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314 "2013-10-15T15:42:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/1 "2013-10-15T15:42:03Z")
Racism has been a common occurrence in human history, but it’s been fairly boring and predictable. Since almost all humans are a single skin color, aside from birth marks and that sort of thing, the only thing that a racist can do is declare that those of one skin color are better than those of a different skin color. With cows, however, there’s a lot more variety. So I’m wondering, if cows were the dominant species on this planet, what would racist cows believe? Would white supremacist cows think that black cows were inferior, while treating piebald cows as superior to black cows but inferior to white cows? Or would cow racists think of all the solid-colored cows as somehow more “pure” than the piebald ones? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/2 "2013-10-15T15:45:49Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > Racism has been a common occurrence in human history, but it’s been fairly boring and predictable. **Since almost all humans are a single skin color,** aside from birth marks and that sort of thing, the only thing that a racist can do is **declare that those of one skin color are better than those of a different skin color.** Good job. Contradiction is less than one sentence. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/3 "2013-10-15T15:46:05Z")
Cows are also very sexist so it realy does not matter what they think, The bull makes all the decisions and he is not normally all that fussy. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/4 "2013-10-15T15:50:04Z")
Why do you think that cow racism would be based on skin or hair colour? Horn length is where it’s at. The longhorns look down on the shorthorns as weak-willed dilettantes, and the shorthorns look down on the longhorns as reckless windbags… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/5 "2013-10-15T15:54:13Z")
Guernseys would rule the world, making the Jerseys do all the menial labor and stuff. Holsteins would argue for equality. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/6 "2013-10-15T15:56:42Z")
I only know about dog racism. My mom’s black and brown dog hates white dogs. She really does, she freaks out whenever she sees a white dog, especially a white fluffy dog. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/7 "2013-10-15T15:58:29Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Good job. Contradiction is less than one sentence. Pretty sure he means no stripes, spots, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/8 "2013-10-15T15:58:57Z")
I feel like it would be easier to consider this question if I were stoned. Unfortunately, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning, I have to work, and I’m barely even caffeinated yet. Still, I’m going with **Sunspace’s** theory of horns. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/9 "2013-10-15T16:00:03Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Pretty sure he means no stripes, **spots** , etc. Uhhhh… teenagers?.. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/10 "2013-10-15T16:28:18Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Pretty sure he means no stripes, spots, etc. That would be correct. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/11 "2013-10-15T16:36:26Z")
“What up, ma n\*\*\*\*?” --\> “How now, brown cow?” :flees: ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/12 "2013-10-15T16:44:55Z")
Hahaha. If I was a brown cow I would totally say that. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/13 "2013-10-15T16:48:49Z")
Spotted cows are _trash_. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/14 "2013-10-15T16:58:55Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Spotted cows are _trash_. But even _they_ trash-talk Beefalo. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/15 "2013-10-15T17:07:18Z")
This sounds like a _Far Side_ cartoon. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/16 "2013-10-15T22:22:02Z")
I’m udderly certain it would involve milk production. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/17 "2013-10-15T22:31:50Z")
Racist cows would think their own colour or patterning indicated superiority to all the others, just like racist humans. Most like me=good; less like me=bad. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/18 "2013-10-15T23:24:36Z")
My friends who breed cats say that if you have a large number of cats in a room, like-colored cats will gravitate together. Don’t think it’s animal racism; just cats wanting to be around creatures that look like them, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/19 "2013-10-15T23:43:46Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > My friends who breed cats say that if you have a large number of cats in a room, like-colored cats will gravitate together. Don’t think it’s animal racism; just cats wanting to be around creatures that look like them, I guess. I’ve noticed those with penises gravitating toward those without. Color less an issue. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314/20 "2013-10-15T23:49:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I’ve noticed those with penises gravitating toward those without. Color less an issue. It’s not so much the penis/vagina factor as the testicles/ovaries factor. If they’re lacking the latter, they really don’t care. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-cow-racism-be-like/671314.md?page=2)