# What would Elvis be doing today? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069 "2003-05-13T22:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![superstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f4b2a3/32.png) [@superstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/superstar)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/1 "2003-05-13T22:20:35Z")
If Elvis was alive today I think he would either be wildly famous with number one hits all over the world. Doing a remix of ‘In the ghetto’ with Eminem. Or he would be working for the government in an undercover role in the music industry…(maybe he already is???) He would defintley be a scientoligist! What do you think he would be doing??? ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/2 "2003-05-13T22:23:21Z")
Scratching at the coffin lid. ---
**Author:** ![flybynight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@flybynight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flybynight)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/3 "2003-05-13T23:13:13Z")
Co-hosting TRL ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/4 "2003-05-14T01:49:31Z")
Whaddya mean, “_if_ he were alive”? :eek: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/5 "2003-05-14T15:59:44Z")
Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/6 "2003-05-14T16:24:52Z")
“Star Search” judge. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/7 "2003-05-14T17:35:58Z")
You mean that’s not him doing the lead voice acting on _Johnny Bravo_? ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/8 "2003-05-14T17:53:07Z")
I would assume a new synthetic opium derivative… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/9 "2003-05-14T19:05:10Z")
Finishing the crap he began on 8/17/77? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/10 "2003-05-14T21:41:20Z")
He would just be driving from restaurant to restaurant eating whatever fattening, delicious gimmicky thing they could come up with. When his car would wear out/break down/run out of gas, he’d just buy a new one and give the old keys to anyone standing around. He’d weigh apporoximately 1000 pounds. His favorite show is “Trading Spaces” because of the horribly tacky designs of Kia. Although, realisticly even if he wouldn’t have died in 1977 his daughter marrying Michael Jackson would’ve done him in for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/11 "2003-05-14T21:50:59Z")
Turning over and over in his grave. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/12 "2003-05-14T22:21:37Z")
He would be whining non-stop about how all the music today is crap and how he and people of his generation had the real talent, blah blah blah blahsey-blah-blah… Just like all the old, out-of-touch has-beens do when they discover that nobody gives a rat’s ass about them anymore. He’d have racked up 3-5 DUI’s and a few minor busts for being generally wierd and causing a commotion. Probably a few for assult. Trying to do some funky martial arts on someone who didn’t recognize him and wouldn’t let him eat spoonfuls of sprinkles at a local 7-11. Or he could have kicked his addictions, made a comeback and be revered as one of show businesses leading elder statesmen, ala Frank Sinatra. Just a thought… * * * Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore. ---
**Author:** ![ILENSER](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/977dab/32.png) [@ILENSER](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ILENSER)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/13 "2003-05-15T00:51:40Z")
More drugs ---
**Author:** ![LWL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@LWL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LWL)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/14 "2003-05-15T05:51:13Z")
Long distance phone ads with ALF and Terry Bradshaw? Placing third in an Elvis impersonation contest? Weddings, bar mitzvahs, and childrens’ birthday parties? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/15 "2003-05-15T14:04:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Long distance phone ads with ALF and Terry Bradshaw? I love it! ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/16 "2003-05-15T14:56:00Z")
Don’t forget Mr. T. - I pity you Elvis you fool, stepping on my gig. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/17 "2003-05-15T15:13:38Z")
He would be the wacky neighbor on “The Osbournes” ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/18 "2003-05-15T15:56:34Z")
He would just be so messed up and scary looking that James Brown would look normal. They would tour. …Or… President of the NRA ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/19 "2003-05-15T16:05:37Z")
de-composing, of course. ---
**Author:** ![musicguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@musicguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/musicguy)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069/20 "2003-05-15T16:07:28Z")
OH, I answered the thread title without seeing the “if alive” disclaimer. My bad. 🙂 He would probably be doing time in prison for shooting Michael Jackson. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-elvis-be-doing-today/175069.md?page=2)