# What would happen if Cecil got banned? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403 "2003-01-23T07:36:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/1 "2003-01-23T07:36:58Z")
I was talking with a fellow Doper earlier tongiht, and I mentioned that I’d had a weird dream yesterday. Among other things, it involved my sister having babies (she’d had babies before, but they’d died… “AIYA! Crazy premonition!” she told me when I inforned her of this part of my dream later), influences from both the _Outlander_ series and _The Thorn Birds_, vicious hockey fights (crosschecks from behind with a hockey stick, anyone?), friends, and **zev\_steinhardt** getting banned from the SDMB (why? I no longer remember the reason…). :eek: This last one worried me a little bit, as I’ve always liked his posts. Imagine my relief on getting up this morning, checking the board, and discovering that he was still a member in good standing here. I was telling this person about all that, and she wondered what it would be like if **Uncle Cecil Adams, The Perfect Master** himself got banned. :eek: I replied that it would be… somewhat interesting… seeing as he was the impetus behind the whole Straight Dope empire. After that, we went on to discuss other topics. That set me to wondering, though… what would happen if Cecil were ever to get banned? Not that I think it would ever happen by any stretch of the imagination, but what do you think? (it’s too late in the day now for me to post any substantial ideas… but maybe the SDMB would be VERY rife with speculation as to why he got banned from his own MB… Ed Zotti might certainly have something to say on the subject, as well) Note: I am definitely NOT advocating that Cecil be banned… nor do I wish this to be the case. This is merely an exercise in imagination and creativity… one of those “what-if” scenarios, if you will. It’s meant in a light-hearted spirit, and I hope others will take it as such. F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/2 "2003-01-23T07:47:13Z")
I think it’s pretty obvious that all of creation would instantly cease to exist, kind of like if Loki and Bartleby would’ve gotten back into heaven. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/3 "2003-01-23T07:49:42Z")
Y’know, **Cecil** _is_ a bit of a jerk, and jerkisim is a bannable offence, so I reckon he should be struck-off the StraightDope list. Yeah. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![typhoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed8c4c/32.png) [@typhoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/typhoon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/4 "2003-01-23T08:33:37Z")
That’d be like excommunicating Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/5 "2003-01-23T10:38:01Z")
I’m with **Cisco**. Banning Cecil would cause a terminal rip in the space-time continuum causing all reality to be sucked into itself in a surprising un-enjoyable experience resulting in oblivion. This would please some of our resident Atheists no end, but quite literally annoy the hell out of some of the Christians! Note that Atheists are not encourage to try this to try to prove themselves right. 😉 CJ ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/6 "2003-01-23T10:54:25Z")
It could _seriously_ muck up the seating arrangements at the Restaurant at the End Of The Universe. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/7 "2003-01-23T11:58:37Z")
BLASPHEMER! How dare you! Talk all you want about this being an “exercise in imagination and creativity.” I don’t buy it for a second. I know the truth, **Flamsterette\_X**! You want to hack the user database, become a psuedo admin, and ban Cecil. That, of course, is why you’re trying to figure out what would happen. You want to see if something like this would threaten some of your other, more sinister plans. You don’t fool me for a second. Don’t listen to the Blasphemer, Uncle Cecil. She’s just trying to get a rise out of you. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/8 "2003-01-23T13:15:33Z")
You’re kidding, right? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/9 "2003-01-23T13:16:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\* > what would happen if Cecil were ever to get banned? > F\_X \*\* This could be the stupidest post I have ever seen. Perhaps we should shoot it. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/10 "2003-01-23T13:21:05Z")
I think the question is interesting; I mean this messageboard is tailored toward Cecil and it would be incredibly odd if he got banned. What if Cecil started posting porn sites, verbally abusing members, and the like? Would the Mods be helpless? ---
**Author:** ![Loneraven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c0e974/32.png) [@Loneraven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loneraven)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/11 "2003-01-23T13:28:26Z")
Well, he does have “Perfect Master” under his name. Not like the likes of us, who have to put up with “Member” or maybe “Moderator” or perhaps “Administrator.” Replacing “Perfect Master” with “BANNED” - now that’s sacrilege. [Raven is skirting round the whole hole-in-space-time-continuum-issue] ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/12 "2003-01-23T13:32:06Z")
Well, I would think sovereign immunity would make such a thing impossible…but if it could happen, his title would be replaced with “Perfect Bastard”. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/13 "2003-01-23T13:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by typhoon \* > \*\*That’d be like excommunicating Jesus. \*\* Yeah, about like that. **Flamsterette\_X** , put a little THOUGHT into your posts before pressing the \ button, OK? Sure, we have a new server and all, but bandwidth is still a limited resource. Let’s not waste it on utterly stupid speculations. Lynn ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/14 "2003-01-23T13:50:13Z")
> [@](#): > > “Perfect Bastard”. Thank you, **pravnik** , I had no idea I could summon up such a good laugh so early in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/15 "2003-01-23T13:56:44Z")
I figured all the mods would start melting like the witch from The Wizard of Oz. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/16 "2003-01-23T14:01:14Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Lynn Bodoni_ > Let’s not waste it on utterly stupid speculations. How about, “I think I would be able to see my brain if I spun my eyes around in their sockets”? Not to argue with you, **Lynn** , but how exactly is this thread any worse than a hundred others that are completely pointless, i.e. this — [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=158044](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=158044) I think the topic is indeed pointless, yet also amusing because of the very paradox it proposes. What’s wrong with making a little joke? ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/17 "2003-01-23T14:51:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flamsterette\_X \* > \*\*I’d had a weird dream yesterday. Among other things, it involved …and **zev\_steinhardt** getting banned from the SDMB (why? I no longer remember the reason…). :eek: > > … > > That set me to wondering, though… what would happen if Cecil were ever to get banned? \*\* Gee, **Flamsterette\_X** , I don’t know what to think: [Tevya] On the one hand, **Flamsterette\_X** thinking I’d been banned from the boards is bad. On the other hand, I wasn’t banned from the boards. On the other hand, why would dream that I’d been banned from the boards. On the other hand, the thought of me led her to think of the Perfect Master, so that’s good. On the other hand, it was the thought of my banishment that did so. I don’t want to be banished. On the other hand…on the other hand… THERE IS NO OTHER HAND! [/Tevya] 🙂 Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/18 "2003-01-23T15:22:20Z")
Well this seems pretty mundane and pointless, it seems to be in the right place. Am I missing something? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/19 "2003-01-23T15:43:08Z")
Thanks, **zev**. Now I’ll be speaking yiddish for a week. Every time I’m exposed to Fiddler it happens. Oy! ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403/20 "2003-01-23T15:45:53Z")
I dont know, but I’ be curled up on the floor in the fetal position mumbling: “not The Master, say it isn’t so, no, not Cecil…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-cecil-got-banned/150403.md?page=2)