# What would happen if I killed my boss? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 26, 2019, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112 "2019-06-26T17:37:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dope1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@dope1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dope1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/21 "2019-06-27T02:16:14Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Need answer fast? Not at all man take as long you need. ---
**Author:** ![dope1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@dope1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dope1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/22 "2019-06-27T02:18:44Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Can you afford a really good attorney? I can’t afford a good attorney and even if I could I wouldn’t hire one. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/23 "2019-06-27T02:23:24Z")
> [@dope1](#): > > That would actually be really funny if my boss dies and I’m arrested for it and if I’m sentenced to life imprisonment then I’ll probably die laughing. I don’t think nitrous is used for executions. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/24 "2019-06-27T02:26:25Z")
Depending on who your boss is, you might be lauded as a great hero. You don’t happen to work in DC, do you? ---
**Author:** ![dope1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@dope1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dope1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/25 "2019-06-27T02:34:06Z")
> [@beowulff](#): > > Depending on who your boss is, you might be lauded as a great hero. > You don’t happen to work in DC, do you? I’m afraid not buddy actually I think I would be pretty happy guy if I was working in Washington DC. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/26 "2019-06-27T02:34:56Z")
Unpredictable EOY performance review. Could go either way. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/27 "2019-06-27T02:47:56Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > But, really don’t go around killing peeps. I use my teeth to kill my [Peeps](http://peepsandcompany.com/brand/brands/peeps). Mmmmm, yummy. > [@Isamu](#): > > Unpredictable EOY performance review. Could go either way. Probably won’t get a EOY performance review; no boss to give it to him. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/28 "2019-06-27T03:08:16Z")
On the other hand, if you’re serving on a Klingon bird of prey… ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/29 "2019-06-27T03:28:09Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > On the other hand, if you’re serving on a Klingon bird of prey… Mirror universe? ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/30 "2019-06-27T03:53:23Z")
Actually I was thinking of when Cmdr Riker served on a bird of prey as part of a cultural exchange with the klingons or some such thing. If I recall correctly, assassination of one’s superiors was an accepted route of promotion within the Klingon military. Kill the guy over you and take his position. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/31 "2019-06-27T04:00:16Z")
ETA. Now that I think about it, that was true of the Terran Empire from TOS Mirror Universe also wasn’t it? So there ya go OP, figure out how to have a transporter mishap that sends you into the mirror universe and you’re good to go ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/32 "2019-06-27T04:00:44Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > Probably won’t get a EOY performance review; no boss to give it to him. You never know. If dead Boss’s second in command gets the promotion, he could give a favourable EOY. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/33 "2019-06-27T04:04:23Z")
> [@dope1](#): > > Let’s say I’m in the state of Maharashtra which is situated in India. I’m not offering any kind of defense. I will be confessing to everything that happened. According to Wikipedia: > **[Capital punishment in India](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment_in_India)** > > Capital punishment in India is a legal penalty for some crimes under the country's main substantive penal legislation, the Indian Penal Code, as well as other laws. Executions are carried out by hanging as the primary method of execution per Section 354(5) of the Criminal Code of Procedure, 1973 is "Hanging by the neck until dead", and is imposed only in the 'rarest of cases'. > Currently, there are around 539 prisoners on death row in India. The most recent executions in India took place in M... > [@](#): > > Capital punishment is a legal penalty in India.[1] It has been carried out in five instances since 1995,[2][3][4][5] while a total of twenty-six executions have taken place in India since 1991, the most recent of which was in 2015.[6] ---
**Author:** ![Space\_Vegetable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Space\_Vegetable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Space_Vegetable)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/34 "2019-06-27T04:04:44Z")
It depends on the company, naturally. If you’re working for The Murder Corp. or Assassinations R Us, then you’d usually get your former boss’s job title and his window office. But don’t enjoy that view for too long. Now that your back’s turned, some of your coworkers are already patting their weaponry. I’ll note that some other companies might not reward your evident enthusiasm and problem-solving attitude in the same way. Consult your employee handbook, or schedule a meeting with HR. If they have no clear policy on career advancement through strategic dominicide, well, that’s exactly what the suggestion box is for. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/35 "2019-06-27T04:05:10Z")
> [@DorkVader](#): > > Actually I was thinking of when Cmdr Riker served on a bird of prey as part of a cultural exchange with the klingons or some such thing. > If I recall correctly, assassination of one’s superiors was an accepted route of promotion within the Klingon military. Kill the guy over you and take his position. It is. I should have said “or Mirror Universe?” ETA: I see you’ve already addressed this. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dope1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@dope1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dope1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/36 "2019-06-27T05:40:48Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > You never know. > > If dead Boss’s second in command gets the promotion, he could give a favourable EOY. I’m pretty sure my boss doesn’t have a second in command. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/37 "2019-06-27T06:10:46Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > You’ll get fired … By whom? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/38 "2019-06-27T07:31:31Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > You never know. > > If dead Boss’s second in command gets the promotion, he could give a favourable EOY. On the one hand it demonstrates a proactive attitude and a willingness to push the boundaries. On the other hand I can see how some might view it as slightly disloyal, and inconsistent with a clear vision of the scope of his duties. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/39 "2019-06-27T10:17:44Z")
-An announcement will likely come from HR announcing your boss’s “departure”. -Depending on the size of your firm, they may offer some form of grief counselling. Possibly gift cards to Starbucks as well. -An interim boss will likely be found from within the organization. Depending on what your group does and other factors, this could be someone who reported to your boss, your former boss’s boss taking on the additional responsibilities or a peer of your boss from another department. It won’t be you. -The interim boss will likely do little more than complete whatever regular paperwork your boss was responsible for. -Your group’s projects will likely continue on for the immediate future. How successful they are will depend largely on the ability of their staff to self-direct and to what extent your boss’s presence was necessary for their completion (i.e. was he a subject matter expert, an advocate within the organization, or simply an “order taker” who just managed P&L). -Depending on how long your boss’s “absence” lasts, any project that isn’t an open-ended operation with more or less automatic funding will eventually conclude. Your team may find that they have little real work to do. Initially, they will enjoy the break, but at some point the idleness will wear on them. Many of your colleagues will pursue other employment opportunities. -Since your boss is no longer around to conduct performance evaluations, you may get a perfunctory review, if they happen at all. This will mean few if any previous accomplishments will be recognized and no raises or promotions for your group. -The larger organization of which your boss’s group is a part of may decide that his group really didn’t serve much of a function after all. If that is the case, your team may be absorbed into other departments or (under normal circumstances) given severance packages. -Eventually, a permanent new boss will be found. Chances are your team won’t like him or her and will continue whatever job search they previously started. -After a year or so of trying to get what’s left of your team back on track, getting rid of anyone who isn’t “working out” and other transitional activities, your new boss will get promoted into whatever group is run by whomever hired him and your team will be dissolved in the next reorg. ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112/40 "2019-06-27T11:22:21Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > - The police show up > - They will ask you what happened > - You are legally obligated to give them your true full name, address if any, and true birth date. Failure to do this is a crime in and of itself, and the police can and will arrest you for it. > - The police arrest you. > - You are taken to the station, booked, fingerprinted and placed in a holding cell to think for a while - probably an hour or so. > - The police will then warn you of your rights, including if you want an attorney and/or to answer questions. > - If you agree to answer questions, they will ask you to sign a form. > - If you don’t agree, and ask for a lawyer, a lawyer will be assigned to you. Or you can get your own lawyer. In either case, you go back to the holding cell until the lawyer shows up. > - When your lawyer shows up, he or she will ask what you think is the case against you. > - You will tell him. > - He will advise you to plead guilty in return for a reduced sentence. > - If you want to plead Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity, he will advise you not to, because that usually doesn’t work and you won’t get the reduced sentence. > - If you insist, you will meet with a court-appointed psychiatrist, who will determine that you are sane enough to stand trial. (Unless you have a rather florid past history of psychotic behavior, and were displaying such behavior before you killed your boss.) > - You can pay for your own psychiatrist. That probably won’t work either. > - You will appear before the judge. > - You will either be denied bail, or bail will be set high enough that you can’t afford it. > - You, your lawyer, and the prosecutors, will continue to meet to see if you want to plead Guilty. They will offer the same deal each time - not a better deal, the same. > - They will set a trial date. > - The night before the trial is scheduled to begin, you get another chance to plead Guilty. > - If you turn it down, it will take a few days, but you will be convicted. > - You then go back to jail while the judge reviews the record to determine your sentence. > - You probably won’t get the death penalty because > a) it’s rare, and > b) you very rarely get the DP if you knew your victim, and you knew your boss. > - [Average sentence for murder is a little over 20 years. Average time served is about 15 years](https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/tssp16.pdf). > > Regards, > Shodan Is seems pretty much what I’d expect fro in the US, and similar to what you’d get in the UK. The police might want to find out why you’d killed him, and would probably do some investigating into yours and their lives to find out, because people don’t do that sort of thing very often. I’ve got no idea what would happen in India. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-i-killed-my-boss/836112.md?page=3)