# What would happen if you dated your celebrity crush? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 19, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618 "2016-04-19T03:11:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/21 "2016-04-19T20:51:57Z")
We’d spend a whole lot of time up late at night in the kitchen making models for demonstration of food sciencey things. I’d be a bit nervous that maybe he wasn’t really healed from his recent divorce, and our very different religions might be a bit of an issue. But food…we’d have food in common. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/22 "2016-04-19T21:15:31Z")
If I dated my celebrity crush I would encourage him to cut down on the booze, dress a little neater and choose better film roles that do not involve pirates or Tim Burton. Yeah, he would hate me. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/23 "2016-04-19T21:20:13Z")
I’m thinking that I’d have to keep my head on a swivel to keep my wife and/or Joe Mangianello from trying to murder me, if I actually dated my celebrity crush. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/24 "2016-04-19T21:25:28Z")
It would end badly. I couldn’t and wouldn’t put up with the paparazzi. ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/25 "2016-04-19T21:25:31Z")
Arrested. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/26 "2016-04-19T21:27:20Z")
Probably a lot of people would call me fat on Twitter. (I am not that fat.) ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/27 "2016-04-19T21:32:46Z")
It would be great because I’d know exactly how it’d go. She’d ask herself, “Why am I dating a guy who’s 24 years older than me, and I’m so hot while he’s so not?” And me, I might be able to speak, but maybe not. If I could, I would blurt out, “Please step back a little so I can just look at you.” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/28 "2016-04-19T22:23:14Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I still have a crush on Jane Seymour, but my crush is on Ms. Seymour circa 1980 (see _Live and Let Die_) rather than in her current state (though she is still rather a looker). _Live and Let Die_ was filmed in 1972. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/29 "2016-04-19T23:30:56Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > If I dated my celebrity crush I would encourage him to cut down on the booze, dress a little neater and choose better film roles that do not involve pirates or Tim Burton. Yeah, he would hate me. …Johnny Depp? ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/30 "2016-04-20T00:03:24Z")
He’d likely cheat on me, and I foresee the whole thing ending quite badly. He seems the wandering type. And our politics don’t much overlap. I’m sure we’d have beautiful, emotionally damaged children in the mean time, though. ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/31 "2016-04-20T00:13:32Z")
It wouldn’t last and people would disect every song on her next album trying to figure out why. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/32 "2016-04-20T00:19:50Z")
We would live happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/33 "2016-04-20T00:36:54Z")
My wife would probably kill me. She’s understanding but not **that** understanding. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/34 "2016-04-20T00:43:38Z")
We would merrily tour the comicons and occasional shoot locations. I would be one of the most envied men in science fiction fandom. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/35 "2016-04-20T00:50:25Z")
> [@Cell\_Guy](#): > > It wouldn’t last and people would disect every song on her next album trying to figure out why. Aw. Someone is a Swiftie. ---
**Author:** ![Cell\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Cell\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cell_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/36 "2016-04-20T02:20:00Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Aw. Someone is a Swiftie. I can’t stand her music. Except for the song with the goat–that’s a good one. I’m just a sucker for taller women. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/37 "2016-04-20T02:28:57Z")
She would be delighted by my wit, and confused by how someone so enchanting could’ve been single for so long. And then, just when things are going really well, something will click in her head and she’d find some excuse to leave and never return my calls. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/38 "2016-04-20T02:44:18Z")
You people are so negative! If I dated my celebrity crush, I would be charming, witty and intellectually dazzling. She would discover she has a thing for overweight, balding men. My wife would realize that my crush and I have a connection so rare and beautiful that she would voluntarily step aside for my happiness. Hey, there’s as much chance of that happening as my getting a date in the first place! ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/39 "2016-04-20T02:45:19Z")
> [@SaharaTea](#): > > If I dated my celebrity crush I would encourage him to cut down on the booze, dress a little neater and choose better film roles that do not involve pirates or Tim Burton. Yeah, he would hate me. While you’re at it, [would you mind scolding him for this zombie-like performance in his and his wife’s “apology” for flouting Australian quarantine laws](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2BDtdkyxFk)? Seriously, that’s the worst. They speak as if they were either broken down by torture, pumped full of tranquilizers, or are secretly furious at being forced to participate in what they regard as a moronic charade. I’m betting it’s the last one. But whatever is going on, I don’t detect even the slightest hint of sincerity from either Depp or his wife. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/40 "2016-04-20T03:51:39Z")
The Internet would BLOW UP about how wonderful and non-judgemental he must be to date a fat girl with crazy hair from Ohio. He’s not really a “thing” on The Internet right now but boy howdy, will he ever be! Watch out, Gossling! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618.md?page=3)