# What would happen if you dated your celebrity crush? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 19, 2016, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618 "2016-04-19T03:11:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/41 "2016-04-20T03:52:43Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > She would be delighted by my wit, and confused by how someone so enchanting could’ve been single for so long. And then, just when things are going really well, something will click in her head and she’d find some excuse to leave and never return my calls. Maybe something about…guano. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/42 "2016-04-20T06:12:42Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Maybe something about…guano. 😃 I probably wouldn’t mention that. Though then again, this person has replied to my tweets a few times already. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/43 "2016-04-20T11:43:12Z")
Since this person is reported to be a pretty nice guy in real life, I suspect he would behave with grace, though probably secretly hoping the evening would end early and he could get away from the difficult task of making conversation with a star-struck lady a few years his senior. But perhaps we could talk about whether he thinks it is a good idea to read the book first, when he’s acting in a movie based on one, whether it’s harder or easier to act in a movie with his sister, and things like that - nothing deep, but hopefully enough to keep civilized conversation going until he could politely call it a night. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/44 "2016-04-20T13:13:36Z")
They’d be wondering how come a bisexual tv comedienne out of the northwest rock scene, who’s been strictly with other women for years, dropped it all for a guy from Iowa who plays jazz and doesn’t even look like Fred Armison. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/45 "2016-04-20T13:23:00Z")
I’d be arrested… well, actually, she’s (barely) of age now, so not arrested, but definitely regarded as a creep. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/46 "2016-04-20T13:30:39Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > I’d be arrested… well, actually, she’s (barely) of age now, so not arrested, but definitely regarded as a creep. If that’s who I think it is, it surprised me how often she was portrayed as coquettish when she was still so young. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/47 "2016-04-20T14:18:46Z")
_sigh_ “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light…” ---
**Author:** ![Totenfeier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@Totenfeier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totenfeier)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/48 "2016-04-20T14:46:43Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > _sigh_ > > “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light…” I have two: my first one, well, she might conceivably be near my league, but I feel pretty sure she would at least try to be a regular person for the duration. The second - ah, the second…aahhh…Count, she is why I quoted you; that and the fact that my headworm getting ready for work this morning was the entire Ghostbusters movie (no idea why, except incipient prescience). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/49 "2016-04-20T15:08:35Z")
Mine’s already married, but if she weren’t, I expect our first date would probably consist of us going somewhere to blow something up. Then, since I’m more of a theory guy than an experimental guy, I’d probably end up feeling grossly inadequate since my explosions would be smaller than hers. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/50 "2016-04-20T15:26:01Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > _sigh_ > > “Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light…” Do you mean that I would poop myself in the presence of my celebrity crush? Because that’s what I was thinking too. ---
**Author:** ![Me\_Billy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e480ec/32.png) [@Me\_Billy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Me_Billy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/51 "2016-04-20T15:45:37Z")
You would be sorely disappointed! Reality is not what we think our fantasies will be like. It is better to not always get what you want - have some unobtainable fantasies. So far as movie stars go, remember they are actors - some are quite good at acting and are very different people in real life. Not what you think you would be getting. The people on screen do not exist - looks or personality wise. They can do tricks with cameras to make people look perfect. They look quite different in person! They can also be total jerks. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/52 "2016-04-20T15:55:50Z")
> [@Me\_Billy](#): > > You would be sorely disappointed! > > Reality is not what we think our fantasies will be like. It is better to not always get what you want - have some unobtainable fantasies. > > So far as movie stars go, remember they are actors - some are quite good at acting and are very different people in real life. Not what you think you would be getting. The people on screen do not exist - looks or personality wise. They can do tricks with cameras to make people look perfect. They look quite different in person! They can also be total jerks. Dude! Not in the spirit of the thread. Have a little imagination! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/53 "2016-04-20T16:16:01Z")
She would spend the whole evening resolving never to get drunk and lose a bet again. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/54 "2016-04-20T16:56:30Z")
I donno. How fun would it be to drag a corpse around town? The conversation would be stiff. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/55 "2016-04-20T17:56:12Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > While you’re at it, [would you mind scolding him for this zombie-like performance in his and his wife’s “apology” for flouting Australian quarantine laws](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q2BDtdkyxFk)? Seriously, that’s the worst. They speak as if they were either broken down by torture, pumped full of tranquilizers, or are secretly furious at being forced to participate in what they regard as a moronic charade. I’m betting it’s the last one. But whatever is going on, I don’t detect even the slightest hint of sincerity from either Depp or his wife. It’s things like this that make me wish I could go back in time to 1993. I would cryogenically freeze Depp so he didn’t go through this cringeworthy midlife crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/56 "2016-04-20T18:03:55Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Do you mean that I would poop myself in the presence of my celebrity crush? Because that’s what I was thinking too. I was thinking of the total and complete impossibility of it. Life as we all know it would have to end for that to happen. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/57 "2016-04-20T18:18:51Z")
I would not be able to handle the fame and paparazzi and do something crazy leading to our breakup ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/58 "2016-04-20T18:38:00Z")
> [@YogSothoth](#): > > I would not be able to handle the fame and paparazzi and do something crazy leading to our breakup (Not speaking for me; I couldn’t breathe that thin air) Sir, you really think she’d (she’d/he’d/whoever/none or my business) want some lump of mashed potatoes who takes crap day in and day out and just Sits there? Someone who does Nothing back to the aggressive assholes who are constantly trying to walk all over them? Someone who is about as passionate as drying paint? I think the business manager would love that person, but that’s about it. Then again, maybe that’s how those things get arranged. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/59 "2016-04-20T18:56:54Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I donno. How fun would it be to drag a corpse around town? The conversation would be stiff. Yes, it is tough to carrion a conversation like that. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2016, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618/60 "2016-04-20T19:09:35Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Yes, it is tough to carrion a conversation like that. You exhume too much… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-happen-if-you-dated-your-celebrity-crush/752618.md?page=4)