# What would have been the best one-liner response to Wilson's "you lie"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 12, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840 "2009-09-12T19:14:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/1 "2009-09-12T19:14:59Z")
When Joe Wilson yelled “you lie” to President Obama, the President hesitated slightly, but then continued with his speech. If he had decided to break from the prepared remarks to address the words, what would have been the best response? I’m not asking for an extemporaneous departures from his written speech to some lecture on decency. I’m assuming just a one-line retort that would have put the opposition (either Wilson in particular, or his idelogy in general) in its place. Let’s leave the debating about the justification of the outburst out of this. That’s found in other threads. If you hate Obama, or agree with Wilson, pretend that some Democratic House nobody yelled “you lie” to GWBush while he solemnly declared the need for War. A witty put-down would have been the “snark heard 'round the world.” -“I lie? You wouldn’t know the truth if it donated money to your campaign.” -“Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they’re all out of you!!” [That would have killed - I promise.] ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/2 "2009-09-12T19:18:35Z")
Bounceback’s a motherfuck, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/3 "2009-09-12T19:36:55Z")
Yo’ momma…? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/4 "2009-09-12T19:46:38Z")
It shouldn’t have been a one-liner response. It should have been a lecture like an adult to a rude child. And Wilson should have been escorted out of the chamber by the Sergeant at Arms. ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/5 "2009-09-12T20:05:15Z")
Yo Mamma was my first reaction as well, so I’d go with: (whispered) “douchebag says what?” ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/6 "2009-09-12T20:08:01Z")
The best response would have been to wait significantly for Nancy “Needs a Hearing Aid” Pelosi to bang the gavel and do what she should have done. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/7 "2009-09-12T20:10:10Z")
“You’re ugly!” ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/8 "2009-09-12T20:16:54Z")
“Go fuck yourself!” I believe there is precedent. ---
**Author:** ![the\_first\_supraliminal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@the\_first\_supraliminal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_first_supraliminal)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/9 "2009-09-12T20:24:18Z")
“Waiter, better cut him off the refills” ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/10 "2009-09-12T20:46:15Z")
To mess with the Birthers: " Hey - you can’t talk until you show me your birth certificate. No, not that one, the other one, the special long form one. What? you don’t have it? Go get it." To mess with the liberals: “Honkey motherfucker! c’mere and say that. I’ll cut you”. To cite historical precedent and cause hilarity north of the border: “Fuddle-duddle” [Pierre Trudeau once (probably) told a fellow politician to fuck off, but when pressed about it, implied that he had said “fuddle-duddle”. [Fuddle duddle - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuddle_duddle)] Most likely real Obama response: " There is a time for catcalls and inane ejaculations from the inuniformed. That time is over. Now is the time for paying attention acting like responsible legislators in a democracy" ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/11 "2009-09-12T21:00:26Z")
Doesn’t this behavior from the hoi polloi usually get a Tasering? ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/12 "2009-09-12T21:20:34Z")
> [@Atomicktom](#): > > -“Oh yeah? Well, the jerk store called, and they’re all out of you!!” [That would have killed - I promise.] or possibly: “Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife!” ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/13 "2009-09-12T21:20:43Z")
“Okay”, and then he should have continued. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/14 "2009-09-12T21:58:01Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Most likely real Obama response: " There is a time for catcalls and inane ejaculations from the **inuniformed**. [emphasis added] Obama hates our troops! ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Captain\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/15 "2009-09-12T21:59:55Z")
‘I find your lack of faith disturbing’, then some force-choking thrown in for good measure. Aside from being the shiz, it would help bolster the likelihood of getting the Public Option accepted too. ---
**Author:** ![Discipline](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Discipline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Discipline)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/16 "2009-09-12T22:24:51Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > It shouldn’t have been a one-liner response. It should have been a lecture like an adult to a rude child. “Now Joe, you know as well as the rest of your classmates that you must raise your hand and wait to be called on.” Or, if feeling gracious, just let him hang himself. “It seems like you have something very important to say, Joe. Would you like to share that with the rest of the class?” I doubt he would’ve been so passionate/coherent in the rest of his argument. ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/17 "2009-09-12T23:20:26Z")
“Do I?” - From _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_, the movie. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/18 "2009-09-12T23:23:23Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > or possibly: > > “Oh yeah, well I slept with your wife!” “Hey, Joe! Good to see ya! How’s your wife and my kid?” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/19 "2009-09-12T23:25:18Z")
“Well I am the current Liar in Chief.” ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840/20 "2009-09-13T00:04:10Z")
I’m picturing Obama quietly taking off his shoe and chucking it at the guy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-have-been-the-best-one-liner-response-to-wilsons-you-lie/509840.md?page=2)