# What Would Jesus Do For a Klondike Bar **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076 "2002-04-22T23:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![buckyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f17d59/32.png) [@buckyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckyogi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/41 "2002-04-25T16:21:40Z")
In my daily talk with the Son, I told him about this thread and he got quite a chuckle out of it. He asked me to tell you all he would make a surprise appearance on the 700 Club and give Pat Robertson noogies. ---
**Author:** ![Brian\_Sha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@Brian\_Sha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brian_Sha)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/42 "2002-04-25T23:41:40Z")
Walk through the valley of the shadow of death. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/43 "2002-04-26T00:48:48Z")
Accept another god? Make an image of God? Use God’s name in vain? Not honor his mother or father? Steal? Lie? Kill? Commit adultery? Covet his neighbor’s wife? Whatever he’d do, I bet he wouldn’t do it on a Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/44 "2002-04-26T00:54:48Z")
**buckyogi** , I wish you weren’t joking!!! ROFL CJ ---
**Author:** ![OxyMoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9a140/32.png) [@OxyMoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OxyMoron)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/45 "2002-04-26T01:08:43Z")
WWJDFAKB? Goodness, everyone’s missed the obvious: **Mary Magdalene!** ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/46 "2002-04-26T01:17:25Z")
If only, **buckyogi** , if only. I’d give up atheism, because that would be a God worth believing in. ---
**Author:** ![the\_coffeehood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9dc877/32.png) [@the\_coffeehood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_coffeehood)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/47 "2002-04-26T18:03:40Z")
He would build it. Then they would come. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/48 "2002-04-26T18:21:53Z")
“But Lord, there were several times I noticed there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Why did you leave me when I needed you most?” “My son, that was when I needed me a Klondike Bar!” ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/49 "2002-04-26T18:33:31Z")
**Lego** - want to borrow my asbestos union suit? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/50 "2002-04-26T18:35:18Z")
I saw a guy with this on a t-shirt today! I had to bite my tongue very hard to keep from laughing loud enough to make people stare. ---
**Author:** ![socialxray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@socialxray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/socialxray)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/51 "2002-04-26T19:10:12Z")
Make Danny Glover their manager and help the Angels win the pennant? Make good on that appearance on the 700 Club, and on every episode after where everytime Robertson opens his mouth, Jesus just clicks his tongue and shakes his head disapprovingly? Settle the Middle East debacle by saying: “Yassar…Ariel…really…is all this necessary?” ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/52 "2002-04-26T19:10:44Z")
I keep on thinking that according to Christian mythology, Jesus was pretty much **the** Jew. So in accordance to keeping the meter of the jingle, **What would Jew do for a Klondike bar?** Groan. ---
**Author:** ![crimsonshriek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b487fb/32.png) [@crimsonshriek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crimsonshriek)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/53 "2002-05-02T12:03:12Z")
join judas priest as lead guitarist?? ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/54 "2002-05-02T12:27:28Z")
Is that guitarist job in Limp Bizkit still open? He and Fred Durst might hit it off. ---
**Author:** ![rundogrun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5daacb/32.png) [@rundogrun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rundogrun)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/55 "2002-05-02T14:07:33Z")
Moon Satan. ---
**Author:** ![tourbot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@tourbot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tourbot)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/56 "2002-05-02T21:13:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \* > \*\*“But Lord, there were several times I noticed there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Why did you leave me when I needed you most?” > > “My son, that was when I needed me a Klondike Bar!” \*\* LMAO. _And_ it makes a lot more sense than the traditional ending… Why in the hell would your life be hardest when Jesus was carrying you? ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/57 "2002-05-02T21:45:45Z")
-Admit Darwin was right -Explain the meaning of Stairway to Heaven -Sing onstage while Emenim raps “Stan” ---
**Author:** ![taklon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/34f0e0/32.png) [@taklon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taklon)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/58 "2002-07-04T11:07:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\* > > Never have sex again? \*\* again??? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/59 "2002-07-04T14:11:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultrafilter \* > \*\*I saw a guy with this on a t-shirt today! I had to bite my tongue very hard to keep from laughing loud enough to make people stare. \*\* And if YOU want one, you can order it at [T-Shirt Hell](http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.htm). (You’ll need to scroll down about 1/3 the page to find it.) ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2002, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/60 "2002-07-05T06:33:17Z")
He’d ride into town on an ass, but would he walk a mile for a camel? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076.md?page=4)