# What Would Jesus Do For a Klondike Bar **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 22, 2002, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076 "2002-04-22T23:59:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![IThinkNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ce73a5/32.png) [@IThinkNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IThinkNot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/61 "2003-02-08T16:24:12Z")
Kill a priest. I believe there’s a special place in hell for that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2003, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/62 "2003-02-08T17:20:55Z")
Resurrect a thread that’s been dead for \* seven months \* ? ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/63 "2003-04-18T02:28:39Z")
## quote: Originally posted by Legomancer “But Lord, there were several times I noticed there was only one set of footprints in the sand. Why did you leave me when I needed you most?” ## “My son, that was when I needed me a Klondike Bar!” Laugh until in tears over a resurrected one-liner? 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Govindha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Govindha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Govindha)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/64 "2003-04-18T02:33:00Z")
he would chant hare Krsna, naked, while drinking a 40 ounce at the airport. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/65 "2003-04-18T04:24:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Resurrect a thread that’s been dead for \* seven months \* ? \*\* Hey, it’s good enough for Jesus… ---
**Author:** ![fizgig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@fizgig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizgig)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/66 "2003-04-18T05:10:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\*He’d ride into town on an ass, but would he walk a mile for a camel? \*\* Make like Mister Chesterfield and _satisfy_? ---
**Author:** ![NardoPolo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NardoPolo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NardoPolo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/67 "2003-04-18T13:11:03Z")
Give to Ceaser what belongs to Ceaser. But give to Jesus His Klondike Bar! Poor Ceaser would only get a salad… ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/68 "2003-04-18T13:11:58Z")
Make Mick Jagger get Satisfaction. Make the Dead Sea Alive. Show the Scientologist that L. Ron Hubbard was a failed Science Fiction writer, not a religious guru. Three miracles, three Kondike Bars. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/69 "2003-04-18T13:58:43Z")
Hey, I thought this link wasn’t supposed to pop back up until Easter. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/70 "2003-04-18T14:59:52Z")
**NurseCarmen** , you’ve just made me laugh so hard I’m having trouble breathing! –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/71 "2003-04-18T15:07:31Z")
Cause Hell to freeze over? ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/91b2a8/32.png) [@Earl\_of\_Sandwhich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_of_Sandwhich)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/72 "2003-04-18T18:32:14Z")
Tell us all what the “H.” stands for? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/73 "2003-04-23T15:19:39Z")
Admit that he was Elvis? Go surfing on a cross-shaped board? Show the ladies what was underneath his robe? “When I bite into a Klondike bar, I get the feeling that I’ve died for the sins of humanity, been resurrected three days later, then ascended to heaven.” You can see why they didn’t use this tag line. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/74 "2003-04-23T15:25:11Z")
Or he (;j) (that’s him) could… Take Marilyn Manson to the prom. Explain his appearance in “The Big Lebowski.” Start hanging out with Judas again. Admit that instead of that gigantically long Bible, they could’ve just given the people what they wanted: “What do you get when you multiply six by nine?” “Forty-two.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/75 "2003-04-23T15:26:15Z")
Say - it’s a bit late for that Angels winning the pennant thing, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/76 "2003-04-23T19:06:42Z")
Reveal the third word that ends in _-gry_. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/77 "2003-04-24T17:15:12Z")
Oy, not that again. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/78 "2003-04-24T17:23:14Z")
## quote: ## Originally posted by Why A Duck Join the People’s Front of Judea? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amidar \* > \*\*No, he’d join the **Judean People’s Front!** \*\* No, He’d become a Frontman for some People in Judea. ---
**Author:** ![Ribbon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e95f7d/32.png) [@Ribbon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ribbon)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/79 "2003-07-12T00:51:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biffy the Elephant Shrew \* > \*\*Reveal the third word that ends in _-gry_. \*\* “Onegry,” often mispelled “onery” or “ornery.” Now, gimme my Klondike bar. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076/80 "2003-07-12T01:03:42Z")
Declare he is really Charley Manson? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-jesus-do-for-a-klondike-bar/105076.md?page=5)