# What would Kim Jung Un do?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [December 30, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934 "2016-12-30T22:29:01Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 10\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/1 "2016-12-30T22:29:01Z")

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I was thinking about how North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un resembles comic book villains, with the way he executes government officials at will. I remembered a scene from an issue of The Fantastic Four. Dr. Doom is showing Silver Surfer around his castle in Latveria when suddenly a servant trips on Doom’s cape. The servant grovels and apologizes, but Doom slams him against the wall and asks him “Do you know the penalty for laying a hand upon my sublime person?” to which the quivering servant replies “No sire! Not the ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT!”

Doom then remembers Silver Surfer standing behind him and changes his tone. Instead of punishing the servant, Doom alleges that he was concerned for the servant’s safety and then gives him the day off, insisting all the while to Surfer he is a loving servant to his people. “I even hear them chanting my name!”

I wonder what Kim would do in a similar situation. Say the Chinese ambassador is visiting and an underling trips on Kim’s boots or something. Does Kim order the underling’s execution on the spot, or does he make an insincere show of forgiving the accident in front of the ambassador? Does the underling beg for forgiveness? Does he go down and hands and knees and grovel?

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**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/2 "2016-12-30T23:42:55Z")

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My guess is that the bodyguards would swoop in, grab the guy, and hustle him away. The dictator would then wave a listless hand and say, “Oh, he’ll be taken care of.” And the visiting dignitary will think, “Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of.”

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**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\
**Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/3 "2016-12-30T23:50:16Z")

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Come on. He wouldn’t kill someone for scuffing his shoes. He saves executions for really serious offenses, such as not applauding enthusiastically enough at a meeting.

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**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/4 "2016-12-31T00:28:33Z")

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Simply glance toward the ranking officer and give a backhanded brushoff wave toward the underling, then continue on as if nothing happened while the sobbing man is led off.

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**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/5 "2016-12-31T10:41:53Z")

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This reminds me of a vaguely recalled incident described in a book about Stalin. The person telling the story _(I believe she was an interpreter)_ stated that she was rushing up a set of stairs not paying attention when Stalin and his entourage were unexpectedly coming down, she bumped into Stalin, almost knocking him over! Apparently he just gave her a look and then walked on, one of the other senior members brushed her down and reassured her before following his boss.

She at least remained around to tell the story. 🙂

As for Kim Jung Un, comic-book super-villian or not he also might just let it slide, accidents happen.

\*edit vaguely recalled by me, not her

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**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/6 "2016-12-31T21:19:55Z")

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OP does know there is still a (rapidly blurring, but still existing) difference between comic books and reality, right?

Election results not withstanding, there ARE still differences.

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**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2016, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/7 "2016-12-31T21:52:57Z")

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Ask Brian Boitano for help.

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**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/8 "2017-01-02T22:41:16Z")

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> [@Darren\_Garrison](#):
>
> Come on. He wouldn’t kill someone for scuffing his shoes. He saves executions for really serious offenses, such as not applauding enthusiastically enough at a meeting.

Also, [song parodies](http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/10/31/north-korean-official-executed-after-changing-the-lyrics-during-an-unfortunate-karaoke-session/).

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**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\
**Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/9 "2017-01-03T17:16:44Z")

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> [@usedtobe](#):
>
> OP does know there is still a (rapidly blurring, but still existing) difference between comic books and reality, right?

GASP! Whaaaaa? Get out!

How do you not get it’s a hypothetical question?

Un acts enough like a comic book villain with his constant nuclear threats and suppression of the citizenry, so I just thought I’d pose a “What if” situation.

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**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\
**Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-kim-jung-un-do/775934/10 "2017-01-04T01:44:26Z")

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Man, what kind of career choice is servant to Dr. Doom? Not an empowering work environment.

I can’t wait to grovel at my boss while wailing “No, Sire! Not the ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT!”
