# What would "little kid" you ask present day you? What would you tell him/her? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600 "2003-03-11T17:24:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/1 "2003-03-11T17:24:45Z")
The little kid version of me would ask me why I wasn’t rich yet. (He always was obsessed about money, convinced, somehow, that enough of it equals happiness.) - I 'd tell him that I was working on it. He’d ask me what these great plans were, and why wasn’t I doing them. - I wouldn’t really have a good answer for him since it’s hard to describe paralyzing fear to a little kid. He’d ask me, probably in an exasperated tone by now, if I had at least had sex yet. (He always was a little pervert. Never really outgrew it either.) - I’d tell him the truth (which is yes 😛 ) because, hey, it’s something for him to look forward to. And he’d probably ask me a million other questions, at which point I’d tell him to shut up and go do his homework. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/2 "2003-03-11T17:31:11Z")
L.K. Me- “Hey, what’s with all the hair?” P.D. Me- “Chicks dig it.” L.K. “And the beer?” P.D. “Son, you have so much to learn…” L.K. “Is that mom? She’s hot!” P.D. “You’re a smart kid.” ---
**Author:** ![thelogicalnextbigthingis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@thelogicalnextbigthingis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelogicalnextbigthingis)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/3 "2003-03-11T17:43:54Z")
L.K. “What do you do after you get a girl’s attention?” P.D. “Find 'em F 'em and Forget 'em” ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/4 "2003-03-11T17:53:12Z")
“Do you become what you wanted to be when you were my age? If not, do you like the job you have now?” (I’d answer no and yes in that order). “Why aren’t you married yet?” (not sure how I would tell my younger self this, although I’d tell him that when he’s 19, if he meets a red-haired girl by the name of April, stay the hell away from her!) “Do you still like cats?” (very much so, yes) “Will anything bad happen to anyone in our family between now and when I get to be your age?” “Will we have flying cars and will be eating food from little pills like they do in the Jetsons?” “Will you ever win the lottery or become rich?” ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/5 "2003-03-11T18:26:31Z")
I would tell her that life has not turned out the way she planned, but it is still a good life. ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/6 "2003-03-11T18:43:35Z")
Him: “What happened?” Me: “I don’t know.” ---
**Author:** ![NYR407](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbe5ce/32.png) [@NYR407](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NYR407)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/7 "2003-03-11T19:07:26Z")
Lil Me: Any advice? Big Me: Play these lotto numbers on this day. We’ll be rich beyond our wildest dreams. Oh yeah just for the heck of it play this Trifecta on at the 2002 Belmont Stakes. People won’t believe our luck. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/8 "2003-03-11T19:54:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Banger \* > \*\*Him: “What happened?” > Me: “I don’t know.” \*\* Damn, ain’t it the truth? 😃 Actually, I can’t imagine what the little kid me would ask the now me, except maybe, “How did you get so fat and why is your beard grey?”. I could lay down some good advice, though. * * * Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Ego\_Mk2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Ego\_Mk2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ego_Mk2)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/9 "2003-03-11T19:57:20Z")
Little me: Where’d your hair go? Me: I don’t know. ☹ Little me: Why are you fat? (I’m not actually fat, but I know little me would think I’m fat.) Me: Beer. Little me: You still play video games? Me: Yeah, and I can buy anything I want, too. Allow me show you _ **The Future!** _ ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/10 "2003-03-11T20:26:05Z")
Lil’ Jes: “Where are my kids? I thought I was going to have kids (all three) by the time I was 22!?” Older Jes: “Well, I wasn’t in a position to have children before or at 22.” Lil’ Jes: “You certainly WERE in a “position” to have them!” (Lil’ Jes was a bit advanced… :rolleyes: ) Older Jes: “Well, _yes_, but I didn’t want to have kids then, because those relationships were not stable enough to give children a good family situation.” Lil’ Jes: "Then why did you “do it?” Older Jes: “In some of those relationships, that’s a very good question. In the others, because we really liked each other and it felt good.” Lil’ Jes: “Oh.” _pause_ Lil’ Jes: “Are you gonna start having babies now?” Older Jes: “This second? I hope not…” _laughs_ “But soon enough, maybe. In a year or two.” Lil’ Jes: “But in two years you’ll be 27! You’ll be OLD!” 😃 😃 😃 That was fun! ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/11 "2003-03-12T00:20:18Z")
Lil Sterra “…” Older Sterra “…” ---
**Author:** ![The\_MacDairmuid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_MacDairmuid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_MacDairmuid)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/12 "2003-03-12T07:45:33Z")
Young MacDairmuid: “So does it turn out that all those crazy rules Mom & Dad have help me?” Older MacDairmuid: “In fact, it turns out that Mom & Dad are actually pretty intelligent people and they did a really good job with the four of us. Those ‘crazy rules’ are essential! Learn them, live them, love them!” Then the Older MacDairmuid would have much advice and many clarifications for the Younger MacDairmuid. I’d feel safe about giving out this information because the Younger MacDairmuid wouldn’t pay much attention. ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/13 "2003-03-12T08:33:04Z")
MiniMe “OMG, You got _married_! WHY ?” Me “Changed my mind on that one. Oh, and your future husband is a great guy. Trust him” MiniMe “Why haven’t you got dogs, horses and a huge property ?” Me “I’m working on it. Other things became more important” MiniMe “What should I do ? What can I expect ? What’s in store for me ?” Me “Enjoy the ride. You have a great, fun, happy life ahead of you. Just hold it together through high school” ---
**Author:** ![dead0man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/edb3f5/32.png) [@dead0man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dead0man)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/14 "2003-03-12T12:30:13Z")
[sub]Did anybody else have to read the OP title 5 times? I’ve been up for awhile and I’m very tired[/sub] Little Me:So, I see you are bald, you have a beard of some kind going on and you have put on a few pounds…whats up wit dat? Me:Yep and so will you LM:Sooooooo…ummmmm…how’se the sex? Me:excellent LM:sweet Me:yep, but on that subject, stay off the fricken internet until late 2000 or at least stay out of stupid hearts and spades game rooms and never get involved with somebody that lives more than an hours drive from you…you can be an idiot sometimes LM: ok then…how is school and stuff? Me:Well, you are going to screw that up nicely you lazy little punk, but its going to turn out allright. The Air Force will show you the way, just not when you (or they) were expecting you too. Your grades don’t matter, just do enough to graduate HS and drop out of community college. It aint hard, trust me. LM: So, anyway I can avoid the bald/fat part? Me: No, now get back in your time machine and go home, mom misses you…oh hey, don’t steal your sisters mustang, don’t waste mom and dads money learning to fly, do cut off the mullet before 1987, do play football in high school and by all means, enjoy your life. ---
**Author:** ![kitarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/15 "2003-03-12T13:46:52Z")
Little Me: So… You seem not to have conquered the world yet. What’s up with that? Me: Got distracted. I’ll get 'round to it eventually. Little Me: (Irritating pestering about why I hadn’t got my act together and done what he wanted yet) Me: (Pours a bucket of icewater over Little Me), y’know I always thought I deserved that. (I was an annoying kid) Alternately: Little Me: So… This time travel thing. If we’re not careful is it going to cause a paradox that will wipe out all life as we know it? Me: Yep. Probably. Little Me: Cool. I really hope I never, ever, meet a little version of myself. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/16 "2003-03-12T14:42:57Z")
Little Me: So in Total Recall, was Quad really a martian secret agent or just a construction worker? That movie confuses me! Me: Actually if you paid attention during the torture scene you would know that he was actually one of the Oxygen baron’s henchmen, who volunteered to be brainwashed so they could get an agent into the mutant’s resistance group. Little me: ahhh. So, about Dune… Me: …sorry. Still don’t know. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/17 "2003-03-12T20:15:23Z")
small kid me: Life gets funner, right? 'Cause right now, this getting up at 5am to commute to Grandma’s just to go to _school_ thing kinda sucks. Me: I’m sorry, but you’ll be commuting to school until you’re 24. You’ll like high school and college, if it helps. Generally, life gets funner in that your concerns become more adult-oriented, but it also means the simple, carefree days are over. small kid me: Oh. [contemplates the ancient age of 24] No more lounging around playing with Lego all day, huh? Me: Sorry. By the way, you end up giving your Lego to your cousins. small kid me: _All_ of it? But they’re _messy_. What’s it like to have boobs? Me: They’re fun. They bounce, they’re soft, and guys like them. ---
**Author:** ![Mimi\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/41988e/32.png) [@Mimi\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mimi_1)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/18 "2003-03-13T20:23:44Z")
Little me: How did you get so happy? Big me: Got out of a bad marriage. Little me: Should I not get married? Big me: No, go ahead and marry the fool. You get a really great daughter out of the deal, and the husband’s short comings make you much stronger than you ever would have been otherwise. It all will work together to make you who I am today. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/19 "2003-03-13T22:17:26Z")
Little Me: Who the hell are you? Present Day Me: That’s a good question. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600/20 "2003-03-13T22:33:21Z")
L.K.M : How did you manage to avoid prison? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-little-kid-you-ask-present-day-you-what-would-you-tell-him-her/160600.md?page=2)