# What would Shakespeare be writing if he were alive? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341 "2007-04-23T18:34:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/1 "2007-04-23T18:34:27Z")
Happy Bard Day! April 23 is the day traditionally celebrated as William Shakespeare’s birthday (even though he may not actually have been born on this exact date, as discussed [here](http://www.englishhistory.info/Shakespeare/shakespeares-birthday.html)). If the Bard of Avon were writing today, what kind of thing would he write? I think that, given his populist tendencies, he’d be writing for television. But, given his elitist tendencies, it would be cable television. Hmm… If he were alive today, Shakespeare might be out of work until “Deadwood” is revived. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/2 "2007-04-23T19:03:19Z")
I would imagine he’d write for whoever paid him the most. Using that as a basis, he’d probably lean toward something like miniseries, or, if he was working on movies, he’d want to direct and maybe even act a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/3 "2007-04-23T19:06:07Z")
Extenze commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/4 "2007-04-23T19:07:41Z")
I suppose cable is big enough for Shakespeare these days - although with the entertainment business being the way it is now, he wouldn’t necessarily have to please everybody’s tastes the way he tried to in his day. Maybe he would take a break from comedy, where he was good but repeated himself a lot, and stick with tragedy. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/5 "2007-04-23T19:07:45Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] I would imagine he’d write for whoever paid him the most. Using that as a basis, he’d probably lean toward something like miniseries, or, if he was working on movies, he’d want to direct and maybe even act a bit. [/QUOTE] When I saw this under “New Posts” this thread title was immediately followed by “Desperate Housewives 4/22”. Yeah, that’s probably right. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/6 "2007-04-23T19:17:58Z")
He’d have a blog. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/7 "2007-04-23T19:18:24Z")
Zombie movies! Shakespearean zombie movies! ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/8 "2007-04-23T19:27:39Z")
Rap Songs. His name would be “Big Willie Shakes”, and, the rap songs would be about zombies. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/9 "2007-04-23T19:28:21Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Zombie movies! Shakespearean zombie movies! [/QUOTE] Ooh, I like it. Much Ado About Braaaain. Twelfth Night of the Living Dead. A Midsummer Night’s Scream. The Merchant of Menace. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/10 "2007-04-23T19:28:49Z")
He’d still be writing for the theatre. Doing musicals with Andrew Lloyd Webber I hope. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/11 "2007-04-23T19:29:57Z")
He’d be writing dramas for the BBC, and Americans would only see his stuff on public television (unless they subscribed to the BBC over cable). Pretty much the way things actually are, with him having lived 400 years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/12 "2007-04-23T19:33:26Z")
He probably be where the big money is, and that’s in movies – and he’d be writing, acting and directing. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/13 "2007-04-23T19:34:45Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Zombie movies! Shakespearean zombie movies! [/QUOTE] This would give a new context to Shylock’s demanding “a pound of flesh” in _The Merchant of Venice_. " I am a zombie. Hath not a zombie eyes? Hath not a zombie hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?..If you prick us, do we not ooze? If you tickle us, do we not moan? If you shoot us in the head do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not eat your brains?" Your proposal has merit. Shakespeare was not far off from horror anyway; _Hamlet_, _King Lear_, and _Titus Andronicus_ are all pretty horrific and/or gory, and _Coriolanus_ could be made into a zombie flick with minor alterations. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/14 "2007-04-23T19:37:56Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] _Coriolanus_ could be made into a zombie flick with minor alterations. [/QUOTE] **Goriolanus**? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/15 "2007-04-23T19:40:30Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] He’d be writing dramas for the BBC, and Americans would only see his stuff on public television (unless they subscribed to the BBC over cable). Pretty much the way things actually are, with him having lived 400 years ago. [/QUOTE] I seriously doubt that, **cmkeller**. While the historical judgement is that Shakespeare was a great artist, creating a corpus of works that are standing the test of time, to remain powerfully evocative to audiences the world over - the thing I was thinking about is that I don’t believe that Shakespeare was intending to write to a small audience. He was writing for the popular medium at the time, where the largest audiences were. Dare I say it, he was more a P.T. Barnum, trying to create shows with at least a little something for everyone, rather than a David Attenborough. So, while my post about zombie movies was at least 60% joke, it was a joke with I think a real core of truth: He’d have chosen to work in a popular medium, and created works of art anyways, rather than choosing to work in a more limited appeal medium. Just my two cents. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/16 "2007-04-23T19:43:30Z")
Are you kidding me? Like the rest of us, he’d have been exposed to iambic pentameter in high school English, promptly proclaimed his disgust for writing and all things literature-related, and he’d be happily employed as a line chef at a Mexican restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/17 "2007-04-23T19:43:54Z")
Daytime soap dramas. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/18 "2007-04-23T19:50:37Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] Your proposal has merit. Shakespeare was not far off from horror anyway; _Hamlet_, _King Lear_, and _Titus Andronicus_ are all pretty horrific and/or gory, and _Coriolanus_ could be made into a zombie flick with minor alterations. [/QUOTE] Titus is a slasher flick through and through. Violent entertainment wasn’t any less popular at the time. Modern productions tend to play Titus ironically, as an Elizabethan equivalent of _Scream_. **cmkeller** makes a good point. Shakespeare wrote art, but he didn’t shy away from very accessible humor either. I’m not sure who you could compare him to today. Sometimes I think Spielberg, who’s very popular but very well-regarded… but then again I don’t _like_ him, so I don’t like the comparison very much. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/19 "2007-04-23T19:57:30Z")
OtakuLoki: > [@](#): > > I seriously doubt that, cmkeller…He was writing for the popular medium at the time, where the largest audiences were…I think a real core of truth: He’d have chosen to work in a popular medium, and created works of art anyways, rather than choosing to work in a more limited appeal medium. Sure, but assuming that the OP were referring to him being a modern Brit rather than a modern American, the shows aired by the BBC _would_ be the popular medium, wouldn’t it? Isn’t that where an aspiring British writer (with no thoughts of emigrating across the pond) would expect to get his widest distribution? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/20 "2007-04-23T20:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] **cmkeller** makes a good point. Shakespeare wrote art, but he didn’t shy away from very accessible humor either. I’m not sure who you could compare him to today. Sometimes I think Spielberg, who’s very popular but very well-regarded… but then again I don’t _like_ him, so I don’t like the comparison very much. [/QUOTE] Shakespeare may have written art, but that was not his intention. The university poets were the guys writing art. They had been to Oxford, and saw themselves far superior to the country bumpkin who had never been to college. Shakespeare was a part owner of the Globe, so he wrote what was going to draw the customers. I agree that he’d act, write, and direct, and also he’d set up his own production company. He retired quite wealthy, after all. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341.md?page=2)