# What would Shakespeare be writing if he were alive? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 23, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341 "2007-04-23T18:34:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/41 "2007-04-24T04:34:50Z")
Shakespeare adapted a lot of his plays from other plays, stories or history. If he did the same today I guess he might be one of those Hollywood screenwriters who take foreign films and Americanize them in remakes. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/42 "2007-04-24T04:43:49Z")
[QUOTE=Marley23] I don’t know what exactly drew customers at the time. But I do think the depth of some of his characters is Shakespeare writing in a way he wanted to, not trying to just draw an audience. You could do Hamlet without Hamlet being the introspective character he is - in fact the play might be significantly more exciting if he would just get on with the revenge. 😉 [/QUOTE] Since the company had a royal charter, some of the plays, like Macbeth, were designed for buttering up royalty. James was descended from the winner. I strongly recommend [Will in the World](http://www.amazon.com/Will-World-How-Shakespeare-Became/dp/039332737X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7198842-4502248?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177389748&sr=1-1). I’ve read a few bios, but this is by far the best. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/43 "2007-04-24T04:47:13Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Porn. But really damn good porn, with epic plotlines and tragic blows. [/QUOTE] Have at thee! Gesundheit! [/Firesign] Oh - **those** blows. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/44 "2007-04-24T04:49:06Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Porn. But really damn good porn, with epic plotlines and tragic blows. [/QUOTE] “Lay on Macduff” would have a whole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/45 "2007-04-24T05:06:42Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Shakespeare adapted a lot of his plays from other plays, stories or history. If he did the same today I guess he might be one of those Hollywood screenwriters who take foreign films and Americanize them in remakes. [/QUOTE] Like, er, you know, Tarantino. 😉 _Kill Bill_ and _Pulp Fiction_ aren’t exactly “remakes”, true, but deep down they’re indie/art films shot full of American commercial sensibility. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/46 "2007-04-24T05:07:49Z")
Shakespeare would be a dead Vaudevillian. He’d be doing Blue Man Group nowadays. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/47 "2007-04-24T11:40:40Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] DOO-dah, DOO-dah . . . 🆒 [/QUOTE] I was thinking “E-I-E-I-O!” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/48 "2007-04-24T11:56:22Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] “Lay on Macduff” would have a whole new meaning. [/QUOTE] Also Romeo and Juliet and Anthony and Cleopatra would really, really sizzle. Underage bonking 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/49 "2007-04-24T12:09:42Z")
Your inbox would get “Shakespeare Spam.” Hot underaged F\*cking ---
**Author:** ![Terrorcotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@Terrorcotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrorcotta)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/50 "2007-04-24T12:22:08Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] He’d still be writing for the theatre. Doing musicals with Andrew Lloyd Webber I hope. [/QUOTE] Yeah, RosenCATS. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/51 "2007-04-24T12:27:38Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Your inbox would get “Shakespeare Spam.” Hot underaged F\*cking [/QUOTE] FROM THE DESK OF: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE POSITION: SENIOR MANAGER, BILLS AND EXCHANGE Dear Sir, I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable my colleagues and I carry out an urgent business opportunity in my department. I work with the Union Bank of Nigeria PLC, currently I am the senior manager of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my bank etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/52 "2007-04-24T13:34:19Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] Since the company had a royal charter, some of the plays, like Macbeth, were designed for buttering up royalty. James was descended from the winner. I strongly recommend [Will in the World](http://www.amazon.com/Will-World-How-Shakespeare-Became/dp/039332737X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7198842-4502248?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177389748&sr=1-1). I’ve read a few bios, but this is by far the best. [/QUOTE] I did read that one a couple of years ago, and Shakespeare always knew where his bread was buttered. But on some level I think he had to be writing for himself, however he bent his characters or plots to please the right people. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/53 "2007-04-24T13:36:35Z")
My guess is that he’d be Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon, becoming best known for American television but branching out into film periodically. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/54 "2007-04-24T14:05:26Z")
[QUOTE=Trunk] FROM THE DESK OF: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE POSITION: SENIOR MANAGER, BILLS AND EXCHANGE Dear Sir, I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable my colleagues and I carry out an urgent business opportunity in my department. I work with the Union Bank of Nigeria PLC, currently I am the senior manager of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my bank etc. etc. [/QUOTE] This could be quite legit y’know. It isn’t in uppercase 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/55 "2007-04-24T14:08:42Z")
[QUOTE=Doctor Who] Are you kidding me? Like the rest of us, he’d have been exposed to iambic pentameter in high school English, promptly proclaimed his disgust for writing and all things literature-related, and he’d be happily employed as a line chef at a Mexican restaurant. [/QUOTE] Haven’t you ever seen the kitchen of a Mexican restaurant? Or of almost any restaurant? The line chef would be Cervantes! ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/56 "2007-04-24T14:11:26Z")
[QUOTE=storyteller0910] My guess is that he’d be Aaron Sorkin or Joss Whedon, becoming best known for American television but branching out into film periodically. [/QUOTE] I was going to mention Joss Whedon. Tragedy, comedy & romance–all in one story? Excellent prose styling? Hey–even some songs! ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2007, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341/57 "2007-04-24T14:22:11Z")
He’d be writing plays. Shakespeare used the power of words to conjure up atmosphere and scene. In the movies those are created by other people than the writer, the writer provides the plot and the dialogue. Shakespeare wasn’t keen on creating original plots; all his works, bar one or two, are adaptations of other writers’ works for the stage. Yeah, he was no mean hand at dialogue, and it’s true he always had an eye for the bottom line, the dough, so he may have gone into movies to earn a buck. But the theatre would remain his base, of that I’m convinced. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-shakespeare-be-writing-if-he-were-alive/401341.md?page=2)