# What would the US stance be if Canada attacked Denmark? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806 "2005-02-12T23:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![jester21](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ed655f/32.png) [@jester21](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jester21)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/41 "2005-02-13T09:19:44Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > But if Russia were to attack Turkey from the rear, would Greece help? > > Thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the salad bar! 😃 I think that’ll be enough “tossing salad” jokes for one thread 😉 ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 9:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/42 "2005-02-13T09:38:17Z")
I think they would find it hard to stand, what with all the laughing. I’m sure they would help out in the surrender treaty to make sure that Canadians kept some bits of Canada. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/43 "2005-02-13T11:00:20Z")
> [@jester21](#): > > They’d only need to send two things: > > Paris Hilton > > And > > Wal-Mart After giving the world Celine Dion _and_ Pam Anderson, Paris Hilton cannot deter us. However being a Canadian of Danish and British descent, I would have great difficulty should the above conflict actually occur, and would probably have to remain in exile in NYC. I’d be sure to set up a daily protest at the UN since it’s only a short walk from home. Of course, in my protest, I’d say that the disputed territory should be handed over to Danish-Canadians, namely myself and my family, to be ruled over in perpetuity. I would then set up Barbarianland as a sovereign country and make myself wealthy through arctic vacations in a heat-stricken world 😉 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/44 "2005-02-13T11:50:26Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > We need to keep an eye on these shifty Canucks. They have something like 90% of their population within 100 miles of our border. 90%! Doesn’t that just seem a _bit_ suspicious? :dubious: Indeed. And, some of are _within_ your borders. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/45 "2005-02-13T15:01:52Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > [1] If not, the first undisputed attainment of the North Pole was the air expedition led by Roald Amundsen, which means it’s rightfully ours 😉 Haven’t you ever seen “Miracle on 34th Street”? I read once that, according to the various post offices, the largest portion of letters to Santa Claus written by children around the world are addressed to him at the North Pole, Canada. Case closed. Santa was there way before Amundsen, and besides, he’s got that cool suit in Canadian colours. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/46 "2005-02-13T17:35:04Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The infamous Turbot War took place in 1995 Reading that brought a smile to my face 😃 Any other parts of your country’s history you’d care to recite? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/47 "2005-02-13T19:30:04Z")
You know, I’m mildly surprised that people hadn’t heard of the turbot dust-up. Any attack on sovereignty in America or any other Western country, we’d have heard of it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/48 "2005-02-13T20:56:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, the Spanish were not going to stand for this shit, so they sent a big ol’ navy frigate to protect Spanish fishing vessels. Canada announced they weren’t stopping anytime soon and that they’d send some of their shiny new warships, too. This Mexican standoff lasted just a few days. Thankfully, an eleventh-hour deal was reached before anyone started shooting. It seems absurd, but this is the sort of dumbass stuff that starts wars sometimes. Start a war with Spain over something silly? [Never happen.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_Jenkin%27s_Ear) ---
**Author:** ![Opus1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opus1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opus1)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/49 "2005-02-14T03:10:34Z")
And we know the U.S. has never engaged in any [silly wars](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_War). (And look at the big names involved too. Gens. Pickett and Scott!) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/50 "2005-02-14T03:23:15Z")
NATO did not intervene in the Greek-Turkish war. A Canadian-Danish war would draw the same response. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/51 "2005-02-14T03:48:06Z")
> [@Captain Lance Murdoch](#): > > NATO did not intervene in the Greek-Turkish war. A Canadian-Danish war would draw the same response. I didn’t think so myself, but that was quite a while ago, and frankly, I was too lazy to try to Google it. I do remember it was quite the international crisis for a few weeks, however. ---
**Author:** ![Nunavut\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e95f7d/32.png) [@Nunavut\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunavut_Boy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/52 "2005-02-14T04:22:05Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > Haven’t you ever seen “Miracle on 34th Street”? I read once that, according to the various post offices, the largest portion of letters to Santa Claus written by children around the world are addressed to him at the North Pole, Canada. Case closed. Santa was there way before Amundsen, and besides, he’s got that cool suit in Canadian colours. Santa? Yeah, I know that guy. Everybody thinks he’s a nice old man, but he’s really only like that one day a year. You know the elves? Not elves. Child slaves. He also has a lot of girlfriends ‘on the side’ if you know what I mean. That’s what he does with his sled the rest of the year, goes and visits out of town girlfriends. Mrs. Claus actually IS hot though, and I keep her company when he’s out whoring. Also, he drinks a lot. He’s told me several times during some of our week long benders on whiskey and cocaine that he’d “rather the little shits would leave him shooters instead of milk”. But yeah, he’s Canadian. PS: Rudolph’s a prick too. ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/53 "2005-02-14T14:56:52Z")
> [@Captain Lance Murdoch](#): > > NATO did not intervene in the Greek-Turkish war. A Canadian-Danish war would draw the same response. Correct. NATO members are not obligated to help attack each other. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/54 "2005-02-14T18:02:27Z")
> [@](#): > > But the Danish army could never invade Canada. Canada has genuine punching power in the _naval_\* department; Canada has an Orange crop? Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/55 "2005-02-14T18:17:21Z")
> [@Captain Lance Murdoch](#): > > NATO did not intervene in the Greek-Turkish war. A Canadian-Danish war would draw the same response. Getting back to the (somewhat) serious part of this discussion, do you think that a Canadian-Danish war would see the US stand idly by while Canadian naval superiority rendered the issue moot, or would the UN (or the US acting unilaterally - remember there are ongoing disputes over mineral and petroleum resources in the arctic - this could serve as an excuse for a US presence in the region) deploy peacekeepers (without a Canadian contingent, obviously) to prevent the Canadians from securing the disputed island and deploying to Greenland, until the Canadian and Danish governments resolved the issue? ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/56 "2005-02-15T17:02:55Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > Maybe it would be like Iceland v. the UK in The Great Codfish War. As far as I remember the response of the rest of NATO was to say “Hey, you boys stop that!” while making popcorn and settling down to watch the excitement 😃 Yeah, that was pretty Great. The English did bring warships to ram our fishing ships but we had a few cards up our collective sleeves to foil their evil scheme; The English Empire has nothing on the Military Powerhouse that is Iceland, when push comes to shove. They should be realising their folly now, seeing as how we are taking over England and all. Next up: USA. We got there first and that damned Italian kid was not supposed to use the stories he heard here to navigate to North America. You have bigger issues than Canada (also our land, in a way), my friends… Erm… what i meant to say, before my fit of megalomania, is that Iceland and the U.K. were NATO allies throughout the 18-year ‘debate’ and, as far as I know, NATO had no interest in intervening. I assume they had, though, had the English decided to crush us instead of just getting angry for a while. I bet they wish they had now, in retrospect. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/57 "2005-02-15T18:56:31Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Canada has an Orange crop? > > Who knew? Where did you think frozen orange juice came from? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/58 "2005-02-15T21:49:43Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > Getting back to the (somewhat) serious part of this discussion, do you think that a Canadian-Danish war would see the US stand idly by while Canadian naval superiority rendered the issue moot, or would the UN (or the US acting unilaterally - remember there are ongoing disputes over mineral and petroleum resources in the arctic - this could serve as an excuse for a US presence in the region) deploy peacekeepers (without a Canadian contingent, obviously) to prevent the Canadians from securing the disputed island and deploying to Greenland, until the Canadian and Danish governments resolved the issue? I’m not sure I follow, but if the question is in the event of a war between Canada and Denmark would the US send peacekeepers to a godforsaken rock in a clandestine attempt to to lay claim to arctic territories and prevent a Canadian occupation of Greenland, my answer would be no. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/59 "2005-02-15T22:19:21Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Canada has an Orange crop? > Who knew? I tried to laugh, but unless the word is actually misspelled “navel,” it just doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![jimmmy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/73ab20/32.png) [@jimmmy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimmmy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/60 "2005-02-15T22:39:37Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > Getting back to the (somewhat) serious part of this discussion, do you think that a Canadian-Danish war would see the US stand idly by while Canadian naval superiority rendered the issue moot, or would the UN (or the US acting unilaterally - remember there are ongoing disputes over mineral and petroleum resources in the arctic - this could serve as an excuse for a US presence in the region) deploy peacekeepers (without a Canadian contingent, obviously) to prevent the Canadians from securing the disputed island and deploying to Greenland, until the Canadian and Danish governments resolved the issue? get that you are trying to ask again and again if the U.S. would intervene (forgive me if I am misreading your posts). The answer is no as Captain Lance Murdock and others have said. Ultimately NORAD integrity, $1.8 Billion per day in trade and the giant border would render the answer no to any military action by the U.S. vs. Canada direct or indirect unless Canada attacked the U.S. “Take the dam minerals you babies” would be the ultimate response [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806.md?page=4)