# What would the US stance be if Canada attacked Denmark? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806 "2005-02-12T23:22:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/81 "2005-08-01T14:12:38Z")
I’d have to root for the Danes, since they look more like the elves in LOTR, whilst our North American brethren have a swarthy orc-like appearance. ::d&r:: ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/82 "2005-08-01T14:23:14Z")
> [@Gymnopithys](#): > > Wht if Spain invaded Gibraltar, and Britain responded ?? USA should send as much support as Brit’s ask for. Simple and straight forward. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/83 "2005-08-01T14:47:05Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’d have to root for the Danes, since they look more like the elves in LOTR, whilst our North American brethren have a swarthy orc-like appearance. > ::d&r:: Swarthy? I’m about as swarthy as someone named Ingrid Lofkrantz. (And she’s my cousin, so I know.) ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/84 "2005-08-01T18:27:23Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > This would sort of like watching your obnoxious mother in law taking on your idiot boss. Who do you root for? > > (Disclaimer: My mother in law is a very nice person. My wife’s mother in law, on the other hand, is a royal pain in the neck.) And pray tell is Canada the obnoxious mother-in-law or the idiot boss? I think neither, which also applies to Denmark. Try again. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/85 "2005-08-02T00:15:09Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Swarthy? I’m about as swarthy as someone named Ingrid Lofkrantz. (And she’s my cousin, so I know.) They’re tricksy, too. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/86 "2005-08-02T02:59:19Z")
> [@](#): > > **kingpengvin** : I say TO WAR! Copenhagen by Christmas… You’re after their grog, aren’t you? > [@](#): > > **kingpengvin** : From now on it’s called a Freedom Pastry not a Dainish… A slap with a feather to the Danes who call it “Vienna bread.” > [@](#): > > **Fuji Kitakiyusho** : …and besides, he’s got that cool suit in Canadian colours. And what colors are the Danish flag? > [@](#): > > **Martin Hyde** : I don’t think their troops are at the point where they would lose to 13,000 Danes under most any circumstances. Unless you consider the _Viking Factor_. We are talking about a people whose forebearers’ idea of heaven was to fight all day. Of course, they will slow down considerably if you offer them a Tuborg. > [@](#): > > **Diceman** : …I’m sure that the US would believe Canada’s version of events. Oh, goody. Our first war with the EU. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/87 "2005-08-02T03:24:38Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Have any of y’all ever read Jasper Fforde? Has Jasper written anything new lately? I’ve been pining for some Fforde. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/88 "2005-08-02T06:16:53Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Canada decided to keep pressing, and two weeks later a Coast Guard ship armed with a big long scissor contraption of some kind chased after two more Spanish boats and cut their nets off. NETS, you pervert. > > . It would have been worse if they had cut their cods off! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2005, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/89 "2005-08-02T06:45:25Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’d have to root for the Danes, since they look more like the elves in LOTR, whilst our North American brethren have a swarthy orc-like appearance. Nah, we’re more like dwarves, really. Come to think of it, [Gimli, Manitoba](http://www.gimli.ca/) was settled by Icelanders, who [look more like elves than anyone.](http://renard.pierre.free.fr/Bjork/Bjork_photos/bjork_3.jpg) And while we’re at it, where do you get elvish Danes from? Danes look like [this guy.](http://film.guardian.co.uk/gallery/image/0,8545,-10304534782,00.html) Sheesh. My brain hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/90 "2005-08-23T15:51:14Z")
I posted the OP as part thought exercise, part joke, but now it seems conceivable that this could actually happen. The naval buildup begins. [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/91 "2005-08-23T23:39:44Z")
> [@Fuji Kitakyusho](#): > > I posted the OP as part thought exercise, part joke, but now it seems conceivable that this could actually happen. > > The naval buildup begins. > [http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm) Not really. The naval expedition in question is explicity and intentionally avoiding Han Island. The goal is with regards to more general sovereignty over the arctic islands. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/92 "2005-08-24T10:56:52Z")
Those dinky little Kingston-class ships aren’t much of a threat anyway. When they start building an airbase near Hans Island you’ll know we’re gettin’ serious. The way I see it, let’s mine the Arctic. Let’s see those sneaky Danes come through our mine field. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/93 "2005-08-24T13:12:11Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > The way I see it, let’s mine the Arctic. Let’s see those sneaky Danes come through our mine field. We can’t. We’re signatories to the, uh, Ottawa Protocol. Now, if we were really unscrupulous, we’d farm out the task to another nation that rejected the Ottawa Protocol and still endorses the use of land mines. Can’t think of any examples though… Unless you were speaking of the Polaris nickel mine…? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/94 "2005-08-24T15:00:17Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Now, if we were really unscrupulous, we’d farm out the task to another nation that rejected the Ottawa Protocol and still endorses the use of land mines. Can’t think of any examples though… Are you sure he was talking about land mines and not [naval mines](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naval_mines)? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/95 "2005-08-24T15:15:31Z")
Naval mines. Never occurred to me. Hmm… ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/96 "2005-08-24T15:22:34Z")
Naval mines? Jeez, what kind of cribbing would you need to keep those from collapsing?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/97 "2005-08-24T15:33:02Z")
Ah, but what if you were to _mime_\* the Arctic? ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806/98 "2005-08-24T15:39:17Z")
What would the US stance be? How about this one! _:: Assumes the [“Captain Morgan”](http://www.captainmorgan.com) stance ::_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-the-us-stance-be-if-canada-attacked-denmark/289806.md?page=4)