# What would they never guess by looking?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-they-never-guess-by-looking/156945>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 23, 2003, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-they-never-guess-by-looking/156945 "2003-02-23T08:10:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 2\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![Janie\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/13edae/32.png) [@Janie\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Janie_Jones)\
**Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-they-never-guess-by-looking/156945/61 "2003-02-25T14:34:53Z")

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That I am a mediocre torch singer who was arrested for running a brothel in London.

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**Author:** ![Thomas\_Stearns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Thomas\_Stearns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thomas_Stearns)\
**Post date:** [February 25, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-they-never-guess-by-looking/156945/62 "2003-02-25T19:12:56Z")

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Just by looking? Well for some reason people don’t realize what a horendous nerd I am. After I got the LASIK and started combing my hair people start thinking I’m getting sex like it’s the 4th of july. I’ll be sitting at a club and some gorgeous woman will come up and buy me a drink. Really, no exaggeration here, honest-to-god women will just start flirting with me. Does’nt happen constantly or anything, I’m not good-looking by any means. Of course, it always leads to me calling the next day and sounding like a desparate nerd and then I never hear from them again. If it leads to more dates, once they hear that I’m a 23 year-old virgin, well it pretty much creeps them all out.

Sometimes a guy will come up to me and ask me what my secret is. . . do I wear a certain cologne? do I talk a good game? Am I exuding some sort of uberconfidence that they are picking up on? or do I just tell them I’m gay so they will talk to me? . I tell them “Hell, I don’t know, about two hours ago I was in my boxers punching the wall and spilling nachoes all over myself because my level 60 enchantress spent 10 hours camping a rare NPC that never spawned.”

Of course all of this is just by looking. People can usually tell I’m a dateless nerd after spending a day with me. Maybe I should stop wearing my Army of Darkness t-shirt on first dates.

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