# What would you ask the president of Turkmenistan? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 17, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538 "2007-09-17T20:49:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GilaB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@GilaB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GilaB)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/1 "2007-09-17T20:49:59Z")
For the past few years, Columbia U has been having a ‘World Leaders Forum,’ in which various presidents, prime ministers, and other VIPs come speak and have a Q&A with students and faculty. I’ve signed up to go hear Gurbanguly Berdymukhammedov, the president of Turkmenistan, next week. I feel like I should go in with some good questions, although I’m sure there will be people there who know much more about the region than I do. What would you ask him? I know a little about his megalomaniacal predecessor, but very little about the current guy. Of course, what I really want is a month named after me, but I’m sure he’d rather name one for his wife or some other undeserving person 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/2 "2007-09-17T20:54:38Z")
Well, being as how I am one of those annoying people who never does what people expect, I would be inclined to ask him something like “what’s your favorite type of music?” It actually is a question that can give insight into a person’s personality while still being a bit on the quirky side 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/3 "2007-09-17T21:34:01Z")
**Dear President Berdymukhammedov:** How old were you before you could spell that ridiculous name? Are you at all certain, even today, that you get it right most of the time? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/4 "2007-09-17T21:38:58Z")
Do you have banana stands there too? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/5 "2007-09-17T21:46:22Z")
I’d ask him why, when he was Minister of Health, he carried out a bizarre order from the dictatorial former president to close hospitals outside of Turkmenistan’s capital city. [http://web.amnesty.org/library/Index/ENGEUR610012005?open&of=ENG-348](http://web.amnesty.org/library/Index/ENGEUR610012005?open&of=ENG-348) (Actually, I’m not certain he carried it out. Maybe I’d ask what he did.) ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/6 "2007-09-17T22:19:16Z")
**Reviewing everything I know about Turkmenistan** “Um… how’s it hangin’?” ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/7 "2007-09-17T23:15:09Z")
Does he know that one of his former buddies is funneling money to Americans via email? Can he locate his county on a world map? Can he name the capitals of all the states and name the states while pointing to a map of the United States? They seem to think Americans should be able to do that for all the new country names in Europe and Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/8 "2007-09-17T23:35:03Z")
Regarding the issuance of guest worker visas between Ashgabat and Ankara: “Who gave Istanbul the workmen-istan?” ---
**Author:** ![cookeze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@cookeze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cookeze)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/9 "2007-09-17T23:41:05Z")
What part of Turkey is that? The north or the south? ---
**Author:** ![Intelligently\_Designed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intelligently_designed/32/20957_2.png) [@Intelligently\_Designed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intelligently_Designed)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/10 "2007-09-17T23:45:53Z")
What are your general feelings with regards to the fact that Borat chose neighbor Kazakhstan instead of your country? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/11 "2007-09-17T23:47:38Z")
[QUOTE=Astroboy14] “Um… how’s it hangin’?” [/QUOTE] Down around mine ankles, t’ank you. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/12 "2007-09-17T23:53:44Z")
Do you have any rogue nukes around from the Soviet era? Don’t answer now. Can I call you later? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2007, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/13 "2007-09-17T23:54:47Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] Down around mine ankles, t’ank you. [/QUOTE] Why is President Berdymukhammedov’s ‘it’ hanging around your ankles? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/14 "2007-09-18T00:13:17Z")
Sorry, I was channelling. Next show, 10:30. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/15 "2007-09-18T00:19:41Z")
[QUOTE=Litoris] Well, being as how I am one of those annoying people who never does what people expect, I would be inclined to ask him something like “what’s your favorite type of music?” It actually is a question that can give insight into a person’s personality while still being a bit on the quirky side 😃 [/QUOTE] Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/16 "2007-09-18T00:26:46Z")
What are your plans for improving the human rights situation in Turkmenistan? Do you plan on forcing an investigation in the death of Ogulsapar Muradova, the human rights activist who was sentenced to 6 years imprisonment in 2006 and died in prison shortly afterwards? Do you plan on releasing prisoners of conscience in your prisons? Will you give the International Red Cross access to prisoners? [Amnesty International Press Release, February 2007](http://www.amnestyusa.org/document.php?lang=e&id=ENGUSA20070208001) Is the book written by former president-for-life Saparmurat Niyazov, [Ruhnama](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruhnama), still treated as a holy book? Is it still used as part of the curriculum in high schools? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/17 "2007-09-18T00:28:58Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Can he name the capitals of all the states and name the states while pointing to a map of the United States? They seem to think Americans should be able to do that for all the new country names in Europe and Asia. [/QUOTE] But, expecting a Turkmen to be able to name all the states in the USA would be like expecting an American to be able to name and place on a map all the provinces in Turkmenistan. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/18 "2007-09-18T00:30:00Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do? [/QUOTE] So you mean [ululation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululate)? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/19 "2007-09-18T00:31:10Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Is there a name for that screaming yodel thing the women do? [/QUOTE] [Ululation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululation) ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2007, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538/20 "2007-09-18T00:32:25Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] So you mean [ululation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ululate)? [/QUOTE] Damn you. 🆒 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-the-president-of-turkmenistan/419538.md?page=2)