# What would you Ask Your Oracle?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 1, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414 "2001-08-01T00:34:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\
**Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414/1 "2001-08-01T00:34:14Z")

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Imagine that a magic, all-knowing entity suddenly appears from your beer/cola bottle. This oracle will answer one (1) question that has been haunting you; however, this oracle is neither God nor Cecil.

You will not receive an explanation  
You will not find guidance about your life  
And…(for the wiseacres out there) the oracle will not answer bulls\*\*t question such as; “If God created humans in his/her image, does this mean that God can get a hernia?”

Merely a one sentence answer to a great mystery.

Example questions for the oracle would be:  
**Who was Jack the Ripper?  
Is the face on Mars real, or a weird photography thing?  
What is the chord to that Beatles song I can’t figure out?**

It has been my experience that Dopers are pretty damned inquisitive. I look forward to seeing what you would…_ **Ask The Oracle!** _

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**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\
**Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414/2 "2001-08-01T00:41:34Z")

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Under those kinds of constraints, I’m going purely practical:

What legal investment should I make within the next month that will make me a wealthy man in the next five years?

Except that I’d narrow the question down even more tightly due to a healthy suspicion derived from “The Monkey’s Paw”-type stories. I.e., phrasing it so Oracle could only answer with the name of a stock, etc., instead of saying “You should invest in a company that will shortly become incredibly successful,” cackling, and then vanishing.

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**Author:** ![Medicinal\_Herb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Medicinal\_Herb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medicinal_Herb)\
**Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414/3 "2001-08-01T06:57:43Z")

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Why?

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**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\
**Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414/4 "2001-08-01T12:49:51Z")

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Why not ask the [Usenet Oracle](http://cgi.cs.indiana.edu/~oracle/index.cgi)?

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [August 1, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-ask-your-oracle/74414/5 "2001-08-01T13:06:47Z")

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What are you doing Friday night?