# What would you call your autobiography? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 4, 2005, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713 "2005-10-04T08:39:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/21 "2005-10-04T14:11:37Z")
Mine would be titled “_Actually…_” Subtitled “_Confessions of a Know-It-All Who Doesn’t Know Very Much._” The cover would feature me pointing a fork at the reader. (Inside joke) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/22 "2005-10-04T14:15:18Z")
> [@Spiff](#): > > _Unauthorized_. I think Chuck Barris beat you to this one - [his autobiography](http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?isbn=0786888083) ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/23 "2005-10-04T14:26:47Z")
_The Roads Not Taken_ ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/24 "2005-10-04T14:30:02Z")
If I wanted to depress people, I’d call it “Miles of Gray,” and include [this poem](http://www.geocities.com/theevilwriter/gray.html) I wrote when I was 20. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/25 "2005-10-04T14:31:45Z")
Confessions of a Stud Monkey! _shamelessly stolen from Berkely Breathed_ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/26 "2005-10-04T14:56:20Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > ::falls asleep before getting past the front cover:: > > Dude, that was one awesome piece of self-parody! ::applauds:: Thank you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/27 "2005-10-04T15:22:05Z")
It seems to me that I’ve spent my whole life _Scrouging for Pennies_ ---
**Author:** ![AndyPolley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@AndyPolley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndyPolley)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/28 "2005-10-04T16:02:25Z")
Looking at my daytime life I’d probably go with a childishly simple, _“Say Cheese.”_ If I look to my night-life persona, I might go for something like _“Theremins are Sexy, Dammit!”_ But for the entire picture, I’d go with something like _“I’d Like to Shot You.”_ Not with a gun…I’m a photographer, see? ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/29 "2005-10-05T01:40:31Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > _ **Mallers??** _ :dubious: Must be a public-school thing. (I _sounded_ like a public-school boy all through my comprehensive education. You can imagine what that did for my social eptitude.) > > And if you do a Stephen Fry, will it include vastly exaggerated accounts of underage homosexuality to try to make yourself sound more interesting? I didn’t think they had comprehensives when you were a lad. Bet you’re a grammar school boy! Fry and I are very much the same age, and thus went to prep and public schools at much the same time. My school even used to play his school at cricket. So, when I read of all the kissing and smooching, and holding and fondling, and being lined up behind the bike sheds and vaselined prior to entry, I was left reflecting on how incredibly dull my schools had been. The best I could manage was being invited up into the girls’ dormitory in the girls’ house by a girl who’s name I still remember after all these years and given a big snog. Could have been expelled if we’d been caught. **Bouv** , ‘keen as mustard’ doews have a ring to it, I admit. Very ‘Ice Cold in Alex’, very John Mills. Elfkin, your poem puts me in mind of a Simon and Garfunkel number. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/30 "2005-10-05T02:15:47Z")
“Potential unrealized, or How to get by fairly well despite Half-assed effort” ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/31 "2005-10-05T02:23:40Z")
We got us a Chinese link to the Asia World Detective Agency. Would that **middleman** ’s ‘confessions’ or **Liberal** ’s Kantian riddle, I wonder. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/32 "2005-10-05T02:30:56Z")
_A Study In 21th Century Multiplicity_ ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/33 "2005-10-05T02:31:20Z")
_“I’m Still Waiting for My MacArthur Genius Grant!”_ I also want that on my tombstone. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/34 "2005-10-05T02:34:40Z")
_Now I Can Laugh_ _Memoirs and Remembrances_ by **Askia** ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/35 "2005-10-05T02:35:07Z")
_I’m Sorry, What Were You Saying?_ or _Help! I Can’t Stop Thinking_ ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/36 "2005-10-05T03:16:13Z")
_Holding Pattern_ _Do Unto Others_ and my personal favorite: _Just About_ ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/37 "2005-10-05T03:53:28Z")
_Beyond the Toad Mountains_ ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/38 "2005-10-05T04:17:33Z")
I’m currently working on a book that’s a collection of autobiographical essays and short stories set between 1972 and 1986 (with flashbacks from the 19th century to the present as relayed by old relatives). The working title is just _Spinning in the Sunlight & other recollections_ but I’m hoping for something pithier. Things I’ve considered: _It’s a Southern Thing (Not Really, but that’s What We Tell Ourselves)_ _Casseroles for the Dead_ (from a comment of my mothers- “Mr. Kirby from the Presbyterian Church died in a wreck last night so I’m taking him a casserole.” _The Eunuch’s Grandson: Memoirs of a Stick Collector_ _The Absolute Definitive Secret History of Weokahatchee, AL, as Told to the Author the People Who Vaguely Remembered It_ _Other Families Just Don’t Do This_ (the suggestion of a Doper in [the thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=326481&highlight=weokahatchee) that contains very very rough drafts of a couple of the sections I’m using) So far nothing has really leaped out and said “Pick me! Pick me!”, but hopefully it’ll come. For the cover I’d like four lynched Best-of-the-West figures in a cardboard box (from, of course, one of the stories). ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/39 "2005-10-05T04:26:41Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > _Casseroles for the Dead_ This is the one. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713/40 "2005-10-05T06:51:36Z")
Some possibilities… _Laugh, and the World Laughs with You; Cry, and the World Laughs at You_ _Rattling the Bars: Confessions of a Patron of the Human Zoo_ _Words Typed by a Small Angry Man_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-call-your-autobiography/324713.md?page=3)