# What would you carry back from the dragon's hoard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2017, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326 "2017-07-28T14:55:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/21 "2017-07-29T12:59:00Z")
> [@BeepKillBeep](#): > > Except magic items are not permitted. That’s why I picked mithril. It is basically magic, except it isn’t magical. Mithril will probably turn out to be titanium or osmium or something of the sort (well, not osmium, I think that’s too heavy). We have it too, but because we have iron and steel it won’t be practical to duplicate and your mail shirt will be a curiosity. Which _might_ make it more valuable, if you can find a buyer. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/22 "2017-07-29T13:21:14Z")
All of you carrying mithril through the portal are carrying it the wrong way through. The secret of producing such a metal would in fact be worth a fortune… [and it was](http://www.aluminiumleader.com/history/industry_history/). Too late to be getting in on that game. For myself? I’d start with a couple of pocketfuls of nice big gems. I’d mostly favor star sapphires, but I might toss in a few rubies and emeralds, too. Possibly pearls, if the dragon’s world has dire oysters that can make them bigger than we get here on Earth. No diamonds-- No point in wasting pocket space on mere semiprecious stones. I’d probably also grab a little gold, but only just enough to easily liquidate to fund the trip to the auction houses for the gems. Those gems would bring me enough liquid wealth that I’d never need to worry about money for the rest of my life, and what point is there beyond that? My next thought _would_ be magic items, but the OP has ruled those out… so how about magic items that I don’t need to bring back to benefit from them? Give me some of those tomes that permanently improve ability scores. I’ll take, oh, one each for Int, Cha, and Con. And after that, the next biggest treasure is the dragon itself. **XT** and **Trinopus** have the right idea with DNA samples and teeth, and I’d probably grab some of those, too… but what I really want is the dragon eggs. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/23 "2017-07-29T13:57:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > No diamonds-- No point in wasting pocket space on mere semiprecious stones. As I alluded to in post #8, a 14.6 carat (1/10 ounce) blue diamond [recently sold for 57 million dollars](http://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/oppenheimer-blue-diamond-sells-auction-57-5-million-n576781). Even more recently, a 59.6 carat (0.42 ounce) pink diamond [sold for 71.2 million dollars](http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/05/522739361/pink-star-diamond-sells-for-71-million-smashing-auction-record). Large diamonds, especially large colored diamonds, are just about the densest source of money you are likely to find in a traditional dragon horde. ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/24 "2017-07-29T14:23:02Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > As I alluded to in post #8, a 14.6 carat (1/10 ounce) blue diamond [recently sold for 57 million dollars](http://www.nbcnews.com/business/business-news/oppenheimer-blue-diamond-sells-auction-57-5-million-n576781). Even more recently, a 59.6 carat (0.42 ounce) pink diamond [sold for 71.2 million dollars](http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/04/05/522739361/pink-star-diamond-sells-for-71-million-smashing-auction-record). Large diamonds, especially large colored diamonds, are just about the densest source of money you are likely to find in a traditional dragon horde. The problem is that diamonds are very carefully monitored and tracked. Taking some gemstones is a good idea, but diamonds are probably not a great choice despite being so valuable. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/25 "2017-07-29T14:36:46Z")
> [@BeepKillBeep](#): > > The problem is that diamonds are very carefully monitored and tracked. Taking some gemstones is a good idea, but diamonds are probably not a great choice despite being so valuable. So tell the authorities to do an isotopic testing on it to prove it doesn’t come from one of the known mines, tell those authorities that it is none of their damn business where you have your secret mine, and find the multiple rich people willing to say “Shut up and take my money.” Do you not think you would get similar scrutiny if you showed up with pounds of gold, silver, or other precious stones? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/26 "2017-07-29T15:32:40Z")
Books. I can’t believe no one else has said this. I’m taking a blanket and I’m piling it with books and I’m hauling them back to my lair. I mean, library. Of course. What else would I mean. And yeah, maybe a big, glitzy, tiara, for fun, but only because I can’t balance books on my head. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/27 "2017-07-29T16:01:41Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Books. > > I can’t believe no one else has said this. I’m taking a blanket and I’m piling it with books and I’m hauling them back to my lair. Are piles of books things usually depicted as being in dragon hoards? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/28 "2017-07-29T16:09:05Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’d stuff my pockets with gems. Then I’d cut off the dragon’s head and one of its feet to bring back. Dragons vary by size, but I don’t think you’re gonna be carrying the head of Smaug or Vermithrax Pejorative any country mile. ---
**Author:** ![BeepKillBeep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9e8a1a/32.png) [@BeepKillBeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeepKillBeep)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/29 "2017-07-29T16:59:23Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So tell the authorities to do an isotopic testing on it to prove it doesn’t come from one of the known mines, tell those authorities that it is none of their damn business where you have your secret mine, and find the multiple rich people willing to say “Shut up and take my money.” > > Do you not think you would get similar scrutiny if you showed up with pounds of gold, silver, or other precious stones? You could sell off small amounts of gold trivially, it simply doesn’t have the level of scrutiny that a multi-million diamond is going to have. I’m not saying you wouldn’t be able to sell it or that you would go to jail, but you might not be able to. It could be very difficult. Legitimate auctions houses wouldn’t touch it with a thousand foot pole. I don’t know about you but I’d have no idea where or how to sell a diamond worth millions that most people would assume is illegal in some way. I would probably bring a couple back with me anyway, why not. They don’t weigh much and if you sell them great and if not they look pretty as a trophy. I’m just saying I wouldn’t rely solely on precious gems in this once in a lifetime opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/30 "2017-07-29T17:18:36Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Dragons vary by size, but I don’t think you’re gonna be carrying the head of Smaug or Vermithrax Pejorative any country mile. The head of such a beast is worth trying to drag. Or I can game this as others have and claim the use of some magical item to let me get it to the portal. You take what you want and let me worry about taking what I want. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/31 "2017-07-29T17:34:48Z")
Colored Gemstones–rubies, emeralds, sapphires, etc, top the list, if magic stuff is out. A giant chuck of Alexandrite would be nice. A little bit of Dragon DNA might be valuable, too… ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/32 "2017-07-29T17:40:39Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > A little bit of Dragon DNA might be valuable, too… A few people have said this but… would it? If you got a few vials of blood or saliva or what-have-you, what are you going to do with it? ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/33 "2017-07-29T17:44:12Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > The head of such a beast is worth trying to drag. Lots of luck draggin’ [this](http://s.newsweek.com/sites/www.newsweek.com/files/styles/full/public/2017/07/26/game-thrones-balerion-skull.JPG) dragon. ---
**Author:** ![Trancephalic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trancephalic/32/380_2.png) [@Trancephalic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trancephalic)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/34 "2017-07-29T18:04:42Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Are piles of books things usually depicted as being in dragon hoards? I’d imagine at least ledgers, deeds and titles would be scattered among the lucre. While they would lose their intended value outside their homeworld, they’d still be valuable as anthropological artifacts. More to the point, you have the raw material for truly authentic fiction. Fuck diamonds, George Lucas sold Star Wars for 6 **B** illion smackeroos! ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/35 "2017-07-29T18:06:49Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’d stuff my pockets with gems. Then I’d cut off the dragon’s head and one of its feet to bring back. You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to be the guy to have a genuine dragon wang on his mantelpiece? > [@BeepKillBeep](#): > > The problem is that diamonds are very carefully monitored and tracked. Taking some gemstones is a good idea, but diamonds are probably not a great choice despite being so valuable. Dragons might be too proud to collect unfaceted diamonds, but maybe you could find a few large ones, then drive to Arkansas (flying probably a bad idea) to create a paper trail and say you found them in the diamond park. You’d would be scrutinized as you’d set a world record, but wouldn’t be scrutinized as a thief at least. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/36 "2017-07-29T19:28:52Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > So tell the authorities to do an isotopic testing on it to prove it doesn’t come from one of the known mines, tell those authorities that it is none of their damn business where you have your secret mine, and find the multiple rich people willing to say “Shut up and take my money.” DeBeers would send goons after you, and thieves would kidnap you and torture you until you told them where you got it. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/37 "2017-07-29T19:30:31Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to be the guy to have a genuine dragon wang on his mantelpiece?Dragons might be too proud to collect unfaceted diamonds, but maybe you could find a few large ones, then drive to Arkansas (flying probably a bad idea) to create a paper trail and say you found them in the diamond park. You’d would be scrutinized as you’d set a world record, but wouldn’t be scrutinized as a thief at least. For a few smaller ones this would work. For a fist sized uncut, they could tell it wasnt from Arkansas. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/38 "2017-07-29T19:35:39Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Lots of luck draggin’ [this](http://s.newsweek.com/sites/www.newsweek.com/files/styles/full/public/2017/07/26/game-thrones-balerion-skull.JPG) dragon. Nobody said it was a giant dragon. It is just as, or even more, likely to be closer to this [size](https://www.google.com/search?q=st+george+and+the+dragon&oq=st+george+&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j0l3.4776j0j4&client=tablet-android-samsung&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#imgrc=swuxrxLAes5rqM:). ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/39 "2017-07-29T19:38:34Z")
Diamonds are worth a lot of money mostly just because deBeers says they are. If you bring back super-valuable diamonds from an unknown (non-deBeers) source, they’re going to make sure they’re not worth a lot of money. And some of their ways of making sure of that might be quite unpleasant. > [@](#): > > Quoth **Darren Garrison** : > > Are piles of books things usually depicted as being in dragon hoards? [Well, sometimes](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=1672). I’m not sure it’s worth bringing books back, though: Much easier to just take pictures of all of the pages, and bring those back, provided electronic devices work normally in dragonworld. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2017, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326/40 "2017-07-29T19:51:46Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > 1.) On seeing the thread title, I had to check the “join” date to see that this wasn’t a return of dude\_robert > > 2.) Any especially large diamonds that I could find, preferably colored ones (Diamonds of Color?) 50 million dollars worth of gold would weigh around 2,700 pounds at today’s prices. 50 million dollars worth of blue diamond could fit inside a bottlecap. Well, you can’t take the ring of Giant Strength back through the portal, but you could use it to carry the loot _to_ the portal. I’m just saying… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-carry-back-from-the-dragons-hoard/792326.md?page=3)