I would have been far more careful about what I wrote to someone after our first in-person meeting didn’t end so well.
I wasn’t mean or lashing out or anything like that. It’s just that, sometimes, it’s possible to be too honest too quickly.
Now, she wants nothing to do with me.
sigh
Are you confusing me with Lobsang?
I’d make a dedicated effort, starting in high school, to identify a career that would satisfy me, set entrance into that career as my goal, and consistenly work toward it, instead of just drifting aimlessly through college, assuming I’d always be taken care of somehow, and getting stuck in a job I don’t like when the necessity of supporting myself suddenly sprung upon me.
I’d also spell ‘consistently’ correctly.
*I would have worked harder at some courses in college instead of just giving up and failing them… thus forever screwing my academic record.
*I would never, not for all the money in the world and not with a gun to my head, accept my current job position. I would rather prostitute my rear-end on the streets, it would be less painful and humiliating.
*I would never have applied for all those college credit cards
*I would never have dated 90% of the guys I did
I would have insisted on language skills therapy and social skills therapy back in fourth grade. And I would make sure to present it to my past self and parents as constructive, and to get that therapy outside of the fragging school system.
I would also tell myself not to spend six years pining after a girl who wasn’t even in the same school. If that didn’t work, I would tell myself to make a move on her when we wound up in the same school in ninth grade. But making a move would have required the social skills to talk to a girl I was interested in…
I would have started a soft martial art such as aikido at a young age, like 7th grade, to develop my body coordination and to deal with various & sundry annoying people.
AOP: Scarlet, would you like to join me in starting a career change support group?
I would be nicer to people starting at a very early age - say, Junior High.
I would be more open and more trusting of the intentions of other folks - again, at an earlier age.
I would be much less defensive about stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run, and less self-conscious about things that change over time.
Ah, the regrets of middle age. . . they all seem to revolve around the opportunities I had to connect with people, and turned the other way.
I would have never dated my first husband.
I would have gotten some treatment for my depression when I was in high school. Problem was, I thought that everyone felt that crappy all the time, but I just couldn’t deal with it as well as most people. I never knew what normal was until I was an adult.
I would have realized I have ADD earlier, gotten some treatment, and I probably would have finished college instead of drifting aimlessly for 8 years and never getting a degree.
What I really would have liked to have done was met my current husband 10 years ago instead of meeting my first husband. Then we would have both been spared our horrible first marriages.
Turn and block a little bit quicker.
Not try to expand my business so much.
But all in all, nothing major really and I don’t have any real regrets.
LOL sure… however, I think what I need is more of a “stuck and suffering in current job for 3 to 6 more months” support group
I really really regret having bullied another kid as a kid. Were were about seven years old and a group of us just ganged up on her for no particular reason and called her names for months. I still know the girl, she can still remember it vividly and says she was really miserable at the time. I don’t understand why I did this, am deeply ashamed and wish I had never ever done it.
On a different note:
It’s interesting that a lot of people wish they had been braver and asked someone one and a roughly equal amount of people (who presumably were brave enough to do so) regret having gone out with someone.
In the third grade, I would have chosen the violin over the trumpet.
In high school, I would have put more effort into my senior year girlfriend.
After high school, I wouldn’t have broken up with the above girlfriend.
In the Marine Corps, I would have chosen a tank platoon over an airwing squadron, and not been so beligerent to everyone.
After the Marine Corps, I would have bought Yahoo! stock at 53 cents.
I would not have applied for all those evil credit cards.
I would not have spent so much time on the wrong guys.
I would have gotten involved in the Fine/Graphic Arts fields right after college, instead of getting job after job in the Financial Industry :yawn:
I’m sure there are more, but these stick out the most in my mind.
I would have continued to play the violin. I wish I hadn’t given it up after I lost my violin. (Yes, It is possible to mis-place a violin 
)
I was also going to say I wouldn’t have dated a certain ex. However on reflection, had I not dated him its unlikely that I’d be with my now-boyfriend.
Thats all I can think of at the moment.
I would not have started doing drugs at when I was 13 and would have finished high school instead of dropping out. I do not think that this would have altered my life much, but I just can’t seem to recall much about my life during my drug daze. I just think I wasted 8 years of my life during that period.
I would have stuck with music instead of dropping it in high school.
I would have been less uptight about everything (from infancy).
I’m facing up to my envy over the fact that my stepdaughter will likely move to New York City (or go to grad school at Columbia, anyway). I’ve never lived anywhere but SoCal with the exception of a year in Germany; I find myself bitching and moaning a lot about California and L.A., and wish I had relocated when I was just out of school, or between college and grad school. I’d rather live in a city that was more dense, had better transit, and was not so new and ugly. I feel that relocating would have been easier when I was in my early 20’s, because I’d be without middle-class expectations of a good salary. Now, in mid-career, it seems almost impossible.
But like many others who have expressed parallel regrets, there’s a couple of reasons why I’m glad that didn’t happen: I would have missed meeting my SO, for one thing, and secondly I might not have gone into IT which I really enjoy. New York being what it is, with my background I probably would have stayed in publishing.
My education decisions, career decisions, etc - while they haven’t all been great ‘calls’ by any means - I wouldn’t change because I believe they led me to the job I have today.
And while my job is not the greatest, I work for an amazing company, and I met my S/O here, so the perks are definitely worth it.
But when it comes to relationships - all relationships - I would treat my friends better in high school, I would treat myself better in my relationships with my boyfriends, and I would treat my family with more respect and loyalty.
Those are my only regrets.
• I would have quit carrying deadbeat friends a lot earlier;
• If I knew then what I know now, self-confidence would not have been the issue it was for many years;
• On the female companion front, well, both of the above apply, and I would have been a bit more aggressive about pursuing my high school crush;
• I would have never started smoking;
• Investing would have become a greater interest at an earlier age;
• On the career front, it’s hard to say - as has been noted, if you monkey with anything, who knows how the rest might turn out?
There are many mistakes, and accidents, I’d have liked to not include in my journey. But as with lottery numbers and stock picks, I think those have been excluded by the OP, and the question is more about how I might have conducted myself differently.