# What would you do for One Million Dollars? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 1, 2023, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852 "2023-06-01T00:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/21 "2023-06-01T10:14:11Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > I can’t think of anything I’d be willing to do for a million dollars that anyone would think was worth a million This ! ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/22 "2023-06-01T13:52:10Z")
I’d promise to give you back 1.05 million dollars next year, provided somebody raises my debt ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/23 "2023-06-01T14:36:28Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > There are three judges- Me, Myself and I. I’d hang out with the judge at a bar, buy all of his drinks, and tell everyone what a great guy he is. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/24 "2023-06-01T15:30:27Z")
I would watch _The Rise of Skywalker_ a second time.\* \*Proviso: I can pause whenever I want and I have a month to finish. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/25 "2023-06-01T15:35:15Z")
> [@SurrenderDorothy](#): > > I know you’re supposed to say you would never let your pets go, not for all the money in the world, but I would sell any one of them for a million dollars as long as they were going to a nice and loving home. This is the first thing I thought of!! ---
**Author:** ![phs3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8491ac/32.png) [@phs3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phs3)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/26 "2023-06-01T15:55:07Z")
I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the ancient joke (probably considered non-PC by some, though I’m not convinced it should be): Boss says to his secretary, “Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?” She thinks about it, finally says “Sure.” “What about for ten dollars?” “Of course not–what do you think I am!?” “We’ve established that, we’re negotiating.” If it isn’t illegal or harmful, there are lots of things I’d do. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/27 "2023-06-01T15:58:19Z")
Sorry, hon, but that stuff isn’t worth a million dollars! Eat meat? Heck, I’d consider sauteing your liver for that much money. LOL ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/28 "2023-06-01T16:06:56Z")
I would dance a jig for a million dollars. But, I’m guessing you want to know what _most_ we would do to get the million (IOW, you need some skin in the game). In that case, the most I would do is cut off the tip of my left little finger (or either baby toe), and only after doing an injection block with local anesthetic. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/29 "2023-06-01T16:20:44Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > On the old Mark and Brian radio show they had a contest of this sort, and the prize was playoff tickets to some sporting event. Everyone thought the guy who dropped his drawers and had his buddy throw darts at his ass until 10 of them stuck was a sure thing…until the next guy used a straight razor to shave every bit of hair off his body and then jumped into a pool of rubbing alcohol. I’d go to that playoff game to a popular sporting event for a million dollars. That actually sounds quite unpleasant to me. Dealing with traffic, crowds of people, and all the other stuff associated with having to attend a major sporting event isn’t any fun at all. I would consider that a punishment rather than a reward. So if you give me a million dollars I’ll attend game 7 of the World Series, NBA or NHL playoffs, or the Super Bowl. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/30 "2023-06-01T16:24:07Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I saw an episode of Dirty Jobs the other day where Mike Rowe had to help renovate a manhole. I’m pretty sure the guy who did the regular job said he got paid a million. They had to go down the hole (full of roaches), scoop out used TP, needles, etc., pressure wash the walls (hot and moist), then paint all with a protective coating. It was horrendous. One of Mike’s cameramen puked on his head. > But if I had to do it one single time…I’d consider it. I would also be willing to puke on Mike Rowe’s head for a million dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Jaycat.again](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat.again/32/11525_2.png) [@Jaycat.again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaycat.again)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/31 "2023-06-01T16:30:10Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > Hmm, i wouldn’t give oral sex to a stranger on live TV, How about on the radio? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/32 "2023-06-01T16:38:35Z")
It would have to be a large radio, wouldn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/33 "2023-06-01T16:49:05Z")
I’d buy you a monkey, haven’t you always wanted a monkey? ---
**Author:** ![NinthAcolyte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ninthacolyte/32/13676_2.png) [@NinthAcolyte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinthAcolyte)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/34 "2023-06-01T17:00:02Z")
I’d catalogue and organize your personal library in DDC or LCC as per your preference, including setup of an open-source Koha-based digital catalogue. Technical services to include spine labels, barcodes, covers, and RFID systems can be implemented but materials for those are at your additional expense - my pitch is labor/expertise only. Alternatively I could design and paint a wee miniature figurine of yourself. Are either of these services actually _worth_ a million bucks? Not really. But you do what you can do. I’d also happily amputate a digit or perform any one of a number of lewd, disgusting, or demeaning acts, but who among us impoverished peons _wouldn’t_? Nothing remarkable about acts performed _in extremis_, imo. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/35 "2023-06-01T19:22:24Z")
Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna agree to losing body parts. Or eating bugs. But, we could talk about the other stuff. 🤗 ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/36 "2023-06-01T19:30:26Z")
I’d want to make a large enough profit to be worth it so while I’d like to offer you any amount up to $999,999.99 in return for the $1m, there’d be some fees, my time commitment, etc. to get a loan. Let’s say I’d offer you $985,000. But you need to give the full $1m immediately on receipt so that I don’t need to make any interest payments. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/37 "2023-06-01T19:30:54Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna agree to losing body parts. Especially not you, as you’re already down a few! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/38 "2023-06-01T20:08:35Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Not gonna agree to losing body parts. A friend’s husband lost the last joint of his left hand’s pinkie finger in a work accident years ago. He received some $$ ($15k) from insurance. Every time his wife gets drunk she talks about what a pussy he is, because he won’t purposely lose more bits of fingers. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/39 "2023-06-01T20:20:56Z")
I am lazy, I am not going to lift a finger. If you insist, you can put the money in my pocket for me. If not, it’s OK, give the million to somebody else who wants or needs it more. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2023, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852/40 "2023-06-01T20:42:07Z")
Not even for a million, or _ **any** _ amount, would I voluntarity give up my cat or dog. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-for-one-million-dollars/984852.md?page=3)