# What would you do if you could stop time? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334 "2009-06-10T15:26:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/41 "2009-06-11T16:06:49Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > There are these amazing devices: they’re called _legs_. But **dwc1970** wants to see “the whole world”. I know Steven Wright says “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time”, but I’m not keen to prove him right. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/42 "2009-06-11T17:08:07Z")
I wonder how easy it would be to win big at a casino. You can move things around, but you’re not going to be able to erase the surveillance tapes or the memories of the people at the tables. Mess with the cards at a blackjack table and someone’s going to notice and they’ll check the tapes and see that the cards suddenly changed. Try to move your chips to the winning number at the roulette table and they’re going to notice. You’d have to come up with a foolproof way to cheat that can still deliver big payoffs. I suppose if you’re about to get caught you can freeze time and get out of there, but they won’t let you play again because you disappeared before their very eyes. They’re not going to forget that. You can’t win big without calling attention to yourself, so whatever you do has to pass scrutiny. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/43 "2009-06-11T17:21:17Z")
Sleep, definitely. I have the worst, most erratic sleep cycles of anyone I know, so I’m always sleep deprived at inconvenient and/or inappropriate times. I’d take tons of timestopped naps, and die of old age on my 45th birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/44 "2009-06-11T17:41:55Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > I wonder how easy it would be to win big at a casino. You can move things around, but you’re not going to be able to erase the surveillance tapes or the memories of the people at the tables. Mess with the cards at a blackjack table and someone’s going to notice and they’ll check the tapes and see that the cards suddenly changed. All you’d really need to do is _see_ their cards and you’d know how to bet. Stick to games that don’t have a hole card. Or, find some guy with more chips than he can count, and slide one or two off the top of the stack. Winning optional. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/45 "2009-06-11T17:54:55Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Sleep, definitely. I have the worst, most erratic sleep cycles of anyone I know, so I’m always sleep deprived at inconvenient and/or inappropriate times. I’d take tons of timestopped naps, and die of old age on my 45th birthday. > [@Mooch](#): > > You do not age in “frozen time”. Actually, sleeping in frozen time would extend your lifespan by however long you sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/46 "2009-06-11T17:56:53Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > But **dwc1970** wants to see “the whole world”. I know Steven Wright says “Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time”, but I’m not keen to prove him right. I’d love to walk across the entire world, personally–and if I’m not aging, I’m probably not tiring, either. And even if I am tiring, so what? I can just rest until I’m ready to go again, and after a few weeks, months, years of this, I’ll be in the best shape ever. I think it would be the most amazing way to experience the world. > [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > You can’t win big without calling attention to yourself, so whatever you do has to pass scrutiny. Someone else earlier suggested switching the cards around on a “find the lady” con, and I think that kind of thing might be your best bet (no pun intended). They can’t call you on it because they’re already cheating. Scamming a scammer is the easiest way to go. Of course, do it enough and they’ll come after you–so you probably want to work on a disguise first, and make a habit of freezing time at any suspicious sound to take a look behind you. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/47 "2009-06-11T17:58:44Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > All you’d really need to do is _see_ their cards and you’d know how to bet. Stick to games that don’t have a hole card. That doesn’t work for blackjack or any of the games you play against the house, does it? You place your bet before you see the cards. So that leaves variations of poker. I suppose it wouldn’t be too painful to play until I have a winning hand and bet big, but the other players are going to catch on that I always bet big when I have a great hand. They’ll fold. Too much work involved to try to maximize my winnings. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/48 "2009-06-11T18:09:58Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > That doesn’t work for blackjack or any of the games you play against the house, does it? You place your bet before you see the cards. I want to play the game where I get to bet after I see the cards! 😃 Blackjack would work just fine, assuming you could take a look at cards coming up in the dealer’s deck and sneak them back where they were before you looked. Craps would also work, if you could time the freeze just right so you could make sure the dice come up the way you want them to. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/49 "2009-06-11T18:23:09Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I want to play the game where I get to bet after I see the cards! 😃 > > Blackjack would work just fine, assuming you could take a look at cards coming up in the dealer’s deck and sneak them back where they were before you looked. You wouldn’t even need to do that, if it’s some kind of shoe that doesn’t let you put the cards back. Just look at the dealer’s hole card after the deal. That will give you a huge advantage. You’ll still lose hands frequently, but knowing if he’s got a 16 or a 19 before you decide whether to hit or stand will give you a positive expectation. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/50 "2009-06-11T18:37:35Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > You wouldn’t even need to do that, if it’s some kind of shoe that doesn’t let you put the cards back. Just look at the dealer’s hole card after the deal. That will give you a huge advantage. You’ll still lose hands frequently, but knowing if he’s got a 16 or a 19 before you decide whether to hit or stand will give you a positive expectation. I don’t want to sit at the table for days or weeks building up my winnings. I want to place a few big bets and win and get out of there. ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/51 "2009-06-11T18:45:30Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > I don’t want to sit at the table for days or weeks building up my winnings. I want to place a few big bets and win and get out of there. That’s where sports betting comes in. You can timestop and point a ball (basketball, baseball, football) in a slightly different direction as many times as it takes to make sure the other team loses. I would have to find a way to bet and win on horses in such a way that doesn’t hurt the losing horses, but haven’t figured that one out yet. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/52 "2009-06-11T18:47:47Z")
> [@Mooch](#): > > I would have to find a way to bet and win on horses in such a way that doesn’t hurt the losing horses, but haven’t figured that one out yet. More weight on the ones you want to lose. Put it on as the race starts, take it off just as your pick crosses the finish line. ---
**Author:** ![El\_DeLuxo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_deluxo/32/9043_2.png) [@El\_DeLuxo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_DeLuxo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/53 "2009-06-11T18:48:07Z")
I’d use the power for evil, of course! Just for starters, I’d never pay another dime for anything again, ever. Talk about a license to steal… When I got bored, I’d go into supermarkets and de-pants everyone – right after I rearranged the canned goods artistically, lit every candle they had in stock, and piled up all the fresh produce in a great big heap out in the parking lot. And emptied all the cash registers, too, natch. It’d also be fun to pop into clothing stores, stop time, and then switch everyone’s outfits around and lay out the mannequins in various salacious and/or disturbing poses. On Sundays, I’d leave graven images of the Devil on the altars of churches and on Mondays I’d replace museum exhibits with common kitchen appliances. And several times a monthh random politicians and celebrities would suddenly find themselves dressed in drag, or nekkid and covered with ketchup and mustard and mayo and pickle relish, right in the middle of public appearances. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/54 "2009-06-11T18:54:44Z")
> [@Gus\_Gusterson](#): > > I don’t want to sit at the table for days or weeks building up my winnings. I want to place a few big bets and win and get out of there. For a guy with a timestopping device, you sure are impatient! ---
**Author:** ![Mooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooch)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/55 "2009-06-11T19:19:12Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > For a guy with a timestopping device, you sure are impatient! Thanks for bringing the funny. When I perfect my timestop device, I will pants you last. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/56 "2009-06-11T19:22:22Z")
I’d find ways to humiliate two of my coworkers. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/57 "2009-06-11T23:35:35Z")
The casino thing – aren’t there times when they open the door to the cashier’s cage? So you sit at slot machine with a view of the door and wait. Door gets open, you stop time, slither inside the cage, collect all the cash (be sure not to leave fingerprints!) in a bag, slither back out, take bag outside and stash it in your car, go back inside and sit back down at your slot, restart time. They can check their tapes all they please, all they see is you sitting at the slot machine. What I’ve sometimes thought about is robbing drug dealers. Sorta the same method, wait in view of their house for the door to be open, then swipe the loot. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/58 "2009-06-12T01:00:22Z")
I would use the power for Good, not Evil. For a given value of Good, of course. A current CS thread has reminded me that, should I possess the power of Timestop, it could be put to good use knee-capping every accountant in Hollywood. Then I’d move on to tobacco company execs, televangelists, and certain political figures. The orthopedists in the country would get a glut of business from me. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/59 "2009-06-12T09:52:58Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > The casino thing – aren’t there times when they open the door to the cashier’s cage? So you sit at slot machine with a view of the door and wait. Door gets open, you stop time, slither inside the cage, collect all the cash (be sure not to leave fingerprints!) in a bag, slither back out, take bag outside and stash it in your car, go back inside and sit back down at your slot, restart time. They can check their tapes all they please, all they see is you sitting at the slot machine. It’s not that easy. The cash and chips are locked up while the door is open. They lock up the cash and chips, open the door, close the door, gather (or deliver) cash and chips, lock up the cash and chips, then open the door. At no time is the door open and the cash not locked up. They’ve thought of everything, including a time-stopping machine. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334/60 "2009-06-12T12:08:31Z")
With the power to stop time, what the emphasis on gambling winnings? Why not just take what you need? Cheating at gambling is just as much stealing as lifting some really nice delmonicos from the butcher shop. Also, assuming that whatever you touched or tried to operate would break out of its stasis and actually work, how long would it take to pants _everyone_? Or maybe just everyone in the mainlain USA? You’d really have to do everyone all at once, because it would become national news. Plus a spate of pantsings are likely to draw attention, and they may be able to track your pattern, as they claim to do for serial killers. Before you know it, the government’s going to get serious about developing an anti-timestopping statis bubble, and they’re going to try to catch you. Really, you’ll have to do one, huge pantsing, and then try to lay low for a while. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-could-stop-time/499334.md?page=4)