# What would you do if you had a "perfect" body? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 15, 2001, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362 "2001-08-15T09:52:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/1 "2001-08-15T09:52:23Z")
So this is just a fun, issue-free little fantasy of mine. Like planning my Oscar acceptance speech or what I’d do if I won the lotto. (I’m not in film, I don’t play the lotto, and I don’t go to the gym either.) So: what would you do if you had a “perfect” body? I’m skinny all over except my torso, and I think it would be fun to have that slender as well, with maybe a little definition to go with it. If I woke up tomorrow and that’s what I looked like, I’d run right out and buy the smallest tank top I could find and cut ten inches off the bottom so it was like a halter top, because that’s one of the sexiest pieces of clothing I’ve ever seen a guy wear. And I’d shave my stomach and get my navel pierced. Then I’d so go dancing right away. _pleasant escapist fantasy_ ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/2 "2001-08-15T10:08:05Z")
Fuck myself. Al the time. Wait a sec… ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/3 "2001-08-15T10:24:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*I’ve ever seen a guy wear. And I’d shave my stomach and get my navel pierced. Then I’d so go dancing right away. > > _pleasant escapist fantasy_ \*\* I can’t see a belly button without thinking of that damn commercial here in the states. “I’m coming out!” I suppose with the perfect body I might go on a trek across the mountains wrestling bears, elk, and moose and then taking pictures of them. Marc ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/4 "2001-08-15T10:47:11Z")
I’d be a slut puppy looking for a stud muffin. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Stewart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Dave\_Stewart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Stewart)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/5 "2001-08-15T10:49:39Z")
I’d probably be one of those guys you see photographed on underwear boxes - you can see the body, but they’ve chopped off the head. And I’m sure I’d wander around all weekend, everywhere, with no shirt on, no matter how cold it was. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/6 "2001-08-15T10:55:48Z")
do what i do already, pretty much, but i’d be doing it with better-looking guys. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/7 "2001-08-15T11:13:59Z")
I would firstly finally believe I looked good. Then I’d take the advice of a few dopers and go modeling. And, for that matter, see what else I could get with the perfect body. Free plane tickets, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/8 "2001-08-15T12:34:45Z")
I would become a star of stage and screen. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/9 "2001-08-15T13:00:39Z")
I DID have a perfect body, back when I was in my 20s and early 30s. What did I do? I got old, that’s what . . . ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/10 "2001-08-15T13:02:32Z")
Become famous on the stage, receive critical acclaim, try my hand at directing, fail miserably, begin a descent into poverty and madness, prostitute my “perfect” body to buy crack, and die broken, lonely, and forgotten in the gutter. With that as an option, I’ll stay imperfect, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/11 "2001-08-15T14:08:39Z")
Hmmm, the thought of buying any clothing I want, knowing it will look good… I might actually venture away from jeans and Ts and perhaps even don a skirt occasionally! That is, I’d do that if I cared about wardrobe. In fact, I rather like jeans and Ts, and I’d probably not change that. No sense in being greedy - having the perfect wit and the perfect personality is quite enough for me… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/12 "2001-08-15T14:12:37Z")
If I had the perfect body (I’m thinking heavily muscled and whatnot), I’d skip…everywhere. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/13 "2001-08-15T15:14:07Z")
Me? With the perfect body? Dopefests. ALL of them. ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/14 "2001-08-15T15:26:08Z")
Me? With a perfect body? You mean long shapely legs and a flat tummy? Purr… Low rise jeans, ankle high leather boots, shirt that comes just to the bottom of my ribcage and my hoodie. I wouldn’t do anything different, but I’d sure smile a lot. My wardrobe wouldn’t change much, I’m still a jeans and T shirt kind of person. But I’d be a lot more willing to dress up for formals. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/15 "2001-08-15T15:27:35Z")
Let’s see, you need to ask yourself: What Would **Think** Do? **WWTD?** Why, he would:[ul][_]go skiing in just his snow-pants, (done it)[_]go SCUBA-diving in his surf-shorts and BCD, (done it)[_]go running without a shirt, (but of course, it’s hot out)[_]wear as little as possible for Halloween and Mardi Gras costumes, (yup)generally feel good about himself and his self image, (I could stand to lose maybe 10#, but yeah)[/ul]I know what your intent was, **matt** , but I feel good in my own skin already and though I would like wash-board abs, another coupla inches diameter on my arms and a few less on my waist, I think I’ve got a pretty damn fine body, TYVM, and anything I would do with a “perfect” one, I do now. ---
**Author:** ![JessEnigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cdc98d/32.png) [@JessEnigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JessEnigma)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/16 "2001-08-15T15:41:22Z")
A perfect body? Society’s version? I would take up dance classes again. Ballet is not made for overweight people with bad ankles. Of course, I will probably end up back in classes, perfect body or not, just because I adore performing so much. Having the typical body would just be more helpful. jessica ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/17 "2001-08-15T15:45:44Z")
I’d find someplace to bury it before the police found out. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/18 "2001-08-15T17:09:22Z")
I’d post to the SDMB. So, what is life like without a perfect body? I always wanted to know. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/19 "2001-08-15T17:22:23Z")
What would **I** do if I had a “perfect” body? Get arrested for kidnapping? ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362/20 "2001-08-15T17:25:27Z")
Raise my prices. Join a modelling agency. Model. Start a rock band. Take acting lessons. Cut a few albums. Do movies. Star in movies. Get trophy wife. Write/Direct/Produce a 17-hour film autobiography: _Lemon Candies._ Argue with the media about the significance of my film. Lose all my money. Lose trophy wife. Start drinking. Start doing drugs (again). Let my perfect body turn to lumpy, junk-food nourished goo. Oh well, that was fun. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-had-a-perfect-body/76362.md?page=2)