# What would you do if you were a member of the opposite sex for a day? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2003, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910 "2003-04-10T22:56:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/41 "2003-04-11T05:26:41Z")
Another pervert. But I’d also cut my hair (or run and get a haircut). First to a rather short-ish length, and then to a military cut, and then bald. I’d also have to get some condoms and feel for myself how that changes things for a guy. I’d also treat the special day like Festivus – with feats of strength! I’m surprised none of the guys (IRL) have said anything about having fun with earrings, hairdos, skirts/dresses/lingerie, cosmetics, perfume, pantyhose, and high-heeled shoes. ---
**Author:** ![honkytonkwillie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@honkytonkwillie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/honkytonkwillie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/42 "2003-04-11T07:07:26Z")
I’d make the most of my 24 hours having unfettered access to the ladies locker room. And troll for lesbians after I got tired of looking at myself. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Scrivener \* > \*\*I’m surprised none of the guys (IRL) have said anything about having fun with earrings, hairdos, skirts/dresses/lingerie, cosmetics, perfume, pantyhose, and high-heeled shoes. \*\* We can do that any time we want. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/43 "2003-04-11T11:09:05Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d know the joy of crossing my arms without my elbows sticking out. That one lost me. I’m just not sure what it means. As for the OP I’d just jump up and down nekid watching the boobies bounce. Then I would flash every 13 year old kid I saw just to make his day. I would also change all the lightbulbs behind my cupboards that I can’t get at now without squishing my balls on the counter edge. I would suggest that every woman-into-man goes and gets a bad blowjob just to see how the careless use of teeth feels. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/44 "2003-04-11T11:20:18Z")
I’d see if it was any easier to find the clitoris, now that I had one. ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/45 "2003-04-11T11:23:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Medea’s Child \* > \*\*Add me to the perverts. > Masturbate. Blow Job. Sex. Shower. Play with myself. Watch myself. \*\* DITTO!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/46 "2003-04-11T11:35:22Z")
Hee hee… I would have sex and lots of it. No woman would be safe from the Max-whanger! After that, I’d discover if being male would help me get job interviews (or a better job). I’d also like to see how my new-found strength improves my volleyball spike (particularly the jump). Then I’d probably have lots more sex. After the sex, the job-hunting, the volleyball and more sex, I’d get a cute girl to give me head. Then I’d have sex with her. 😃 Max The views expressed in this post do not necessarily represent those of the female version of Maxxxie. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/47 "2003-04-11T12:57:12Z")
I am astonished at how popular urinating while standing up has been. There’s more to guy-dom that that, ladies… Wait, I’m working on it. (Scratches beard thoughtfully) Ah, yes: we can scratch our beards thoughtfully. ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/48 "2003-04-11T13:10:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rocketeer \* > \*\* Ah, yes: we can scratch our beards thoughtfully. \*\* Unfortunately, so can one of my aunts. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/49 "2003-04-11T13:21:46Z")
> [@](#): > > Have sex with all the gay men who are currently not interested in me. Hehehe. Have sex with all the _straight_ men who are currently not interested in me. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/50 "2003-04-11T13:26:28Z")
Hurm. This will be very short, as you can easily understand what I am thinking. My wife is bi. Boo-yah. If we have any energy left, I’d get dressed up all fancy and we’d go out bar-hopping looking at girls. Boo-yah. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/51 "2003-04-11T13:27:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*I’d check the Poor Man’s Lava Lamp. 😉 > > \*\* This may sound stupid, but I’ve never heard this phrase before. Can someone explain it to me? ---
**Author:** ![Merla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Merla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merla)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/52 "2003-04-11T13:38:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Baker \* > \*\*was caught in the act by Aeryn in, I think, Dargo’s body. . \*\* Nope, it she was in Rygel’s body. I know because this is my favorite episode ever 😃 . As for exploring the poor man’s lava lamp, um, I’m not really sure, but I THINK it means spank the monkey. Granted I would do this too, of course… I just didn’t say this right off because I didn’t want to scare people. But the way this thread is going, I don’t think that matters anymore! OK OK, so if I was a guy for the day, I wouldn’t just pee all day… I’d do - other- things. I am human after all. Merla ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/53 "2003-04-11T14:39:42Z")
I’d enjoy doing pointless things like closing drawers and cabinets all the way, as if it really made a difference compared to being nearly closed or - better yet - left open because sooner or later you’ll be needing something from in there. I’d pretent that this fabric really does look better in that room. I would drastically change my hairstyle and notice. I would actually consider how something made me feel (on a spectum of introspection beyond full, hungry, tired, gotta piss, or horny.) I would pretend that there were emotions other than anger and boredom, and would suspect horniness is not a valid emotion. And I would pretend that other people’s emotions are relevant. Basically, I’d pay a ton of attention to all the unimportant meaningless minutiae that seem to be to crucial to women’s being. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/54 "2003-04-11T14:59:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Merla \* > **OK, maybe it’s not. You gotta admit the thought of being in a memeber of the opposite sex’s body is a turn on** Well, yeah, but you just described what sex is like for guys, already… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/55 "2003-04-11T15:06:03Z")
Someone’s got to say it… I’d drink a lot of water, frequent restrooms, and pee sitting down. Oh, and complain about people leaving the seat up. A LOT. (and of course, the obligatory diddlefest, humpfest, et alia). I’m rather wondering how any of us manage to get things done in our _present_ genders, considering that it looks like what we all want to do is masturbate, anyhow… ---
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/56 "2003-04-11T15:14:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Trion \* > \*\*This may sound stupid, but I’ve never heard this phrase before. Can someone explain it to me? \*\* [SIZE=1]Good god let this be the right answer or I am going to looks really, really stupid. AFAIK, it is shining a torch through your (or a volunteers nuts, and watching stuff move around. Runs away embarassed. Oh, and FTR I would buy tools without recieving a patronising look, I would dress like a lumberjack, and I would pee on things. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/57 "2003-04-11T15:14:44Z")
I think I need more information. Would you also have the thoughts, mannerisms, and instincts of someone who was born the opposite sex, or would you, in effect, be transgendered for a day? Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Either way, I think I would probably just go out to a bar or something and … interact. Find out the truth about how your gender affects the way people talk and respond to you. (On second thought, I guess it _does_ matter, because that’s a really girly thing to wonder about, isn’t it? I don’t know what I would do if I also got the _mindset_ of a guy, although based on the other responses to this thread, it would probably involve sex.) ---
**Author:** ![TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9a28c/32.png) [@TheFunkySpaceCowboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFunkySpaceCowboy)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/58 "2003-04-11T15:41:19Z")
First things first, I’d go after sex toys and spend most of the day masturbating in front of my full length mirror. I’d search for my own g-spot to see what the big deal was and of course try out the whole multiple orgasim thing. When, after 8 hours or so, that got old I’d go out shopping to see if I enjoyed it more with boobs, I’d also buy the skimpiest “fuck me” dress I could find. Then I’d go out to a pick-up bar and torment the men there. I’d be such an awful tease too, shaking my boobies in guys faces, rubbing up against them, letting them cop a feel and whatnot. I’d let them spend hundreds of bucks buying me drinks, I’d see if I could instigate a fight between some of my would be suitors too. Then I’d split for a lesbian club and see if could find some nice girl to take me home for the night. Since I’d be a man again the next morning I’d amuse myself by shouting to my very confused one night stand, in my best Austin Powers voice “I’M A MAN BABY!” before making my escape. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/59 "2003-04-11T18:59:43Z")
I got this in an email forward a while ago. Its a jpeg attachment, but I hope I’m not causing problems by writing out the text here: Top 10 things Men would Do if they Woke up and had a Vagina for a Day: 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchinis and cucumbers 9. Squat over a hand mirror for an hour and a hlaf 8. See if they could finally do the splits 7. See if its truly possible to launch a Ping-Pong ball 20 feet 6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch 5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes - BEFORE closing time 4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first 3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video 2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too 1. Finally fins that damned G-spot! Top Ten Things a Woman would do if she had a Penis for a Day: 10. Get ahead faster in corporate America 9. Get a blow job 8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat 7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at the urinal 6. Determine WHY you cant hit the bowl consistently 5. Find out what its like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm 4. Touch/shift yourself in public without thought as to how improper it might be to others 3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks 2. Understand the reason for the light refraction that occurs between a mans eyes and a ruler situated next to his member 1. Repeat #9 ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910/60 "2003-04-11T20:11:48Z")
To hell with the sex; I’d rob a bank or something. Why waste the perfect disguise? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex-for-a-day/167910.md?page=4)