# What would you do if you were God for a few days? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 11, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258 "2006-04-11T18:46:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/41 "2006-04-14T12:23:50Z")
Are we sure this is God, and not Satan in his guise of Tempter? ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/42 "2006-04-14T13:27:22Z")
Interesting question. I wouldn’t change a thing. Removing any behavioral consequences would only increase the behavior. Removing pain and suffering would make joy meaningless. Theoretically I’d prefer it if babies and small children never got sick and died, because that’s the hardest question to answer - they’ve done nothing to bring it upon themselves. But at what age would starting a “death possibility” make sense? You’re guaranteed 10 years & then who knows? 15 years? So during that first period it’s OK to do anything and there will be no consequences, and then all of a sudden mistakes are lethal? That wouldn’t work. I suspect that fear is an important part of raising babies. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/43 "2006-04-14T13:56:43Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] Are we sure this is God, and not Satan in his guise of Tempter? [/QUOTE] Are you sure there’s a difference? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/44 "2006-04-14T14:45:43Z")
[QUOTE=Charger] The last thing I’d want to do is appear before anyone and try to “prove” a God exists, as the smart followers would know that God wouldn’t do that (as I’ve often said, if proof of God existed, one should stop believing, because God has suddenly become too human). It is essential that God exist as a concept, not as a superhero. Maybe I’d try to make people instead wonder “How can a loving Superman let bad things happen to good people?” But the main thing I’d do is give people visibile auras. Let them wear their souls on the outside. So even the most physically beautiful people would be hideous to others, _if_ their soul was sour. People would be attracted to other people based on the sweetness of their soul, and people’s auras would change if they went bad or improved themselves, but the change to a good aura would be gradual and the change to an evil one would be swift. You could also feel the goodness of other people, so that even the blind could detect goodness in others. It would feel good to touch the aura of good people, and feel like crap to touch the evil ones. [/QUOTE] If god is a concept, then there’s no substance. There are plenty of things that we “know” about that don’t become “too human”. A smart follower, as you put it, would have to wonder why so many choose to worship something that has no tangible payoff that can’t be gotten without believing (i.e., kindness to others, etc) and no evidence that it’s anything more than a concept. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/45 "2006-04-15T01:55:42Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Clam] Dissolve the earth and start over? Seems too tempting to resist- hell, even God was unable to resist on at least two non-consecutive o ccasions! [/QUOTE] Yeah, shutting it all down would be pretty tempting. At the very least starting over again without all the people. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/46 "2006-04-15T02:20:39Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] I’d appear to every remaining person as a Holy Vision. [/QUOTE] Wouldn’t work in my case. Who wants to find out that God actually is a middle-aged white guy? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/47 "2006-04-15T03:57:09Z")
First off…kill the original God. And Satan. Replace the stagnant, unjust tyrany of the universe/afterlife with a proper democracy. (I’ll appoint Abe Lincoln and Cincinnatus as heads of the interim government.) Failing that (or, right _before_ that)…go Old Testament on the world’s ass. Think “Flood 2.0” or “Passover Plus.” Maybe I’ll do some lightning-smiting. Maybe I’ll create a virus that only attacks evil assholes and kills them in the most gruesome and painful way imaginable. Maybe I’ll send an army of ghostly skeleton-warriors on phantom horses to ride over the world and slaughter the wicked. Maybe a [river of molten steel](http://www.exitmundi.nl/zarathushtra.htm) or three. Then, dump a lot of the world’s major holy sites in the bottom of the Marianas Trench, and the larger underwater craters of the Bikini Atoll. Publicly appear in front of the faithful, and tell them to try thinking for themselve’s and to loosen the f\*ck up for Me’s sake. Order the Pope to greenlight gay marriage. In fact, he has to perform the first few hundred Catholic ones himself. And he must dance for me. _Dance!_ Repeat the above with other major religious leaders. Declare that all religious rites and traditions that seem suspiciously like obsessive-compulsive rituals or [misremembered, now pointless traditions](http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:uCuL6xH08bYJ:www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q4nb/pan.976.html+%22end+of+the+roast%22+grandmother&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=5&ie=UTF-8) are now null and void. Appear to Muslims looking _exactly_ [url=[http://www.uriasposten.net/pics/JP-011005-Muhammed-Westerga.jpg](http://www.uriasposten.net/pics/JP-011005-Muhammed-Westerga.jpg)]like this. Complete with the little burning fuse sticking out of my “hat.” Actually, I’d first appear like this as I gathered the worst radical Islamists\* in the world together, slew them, and ate their brains on live TV. Announce that, as a god of wisdom and creation, I consider all art and science to be _good_ things. Denounce those who argued against evolution…it was one of my greatest inventions, after all! Work on some new commandments…complete with an appendix and author’s notes. Actually, maybe it’ll be more like the “13 General Guidelines, in Rough Order of Importance.” I’m sure I’ll think up some more, later… \*I think that’s the right number of syllables to add on to the end to make it clear I mean “psycho ‘muslims’” and not “normal, regular muslims.” ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2006, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/48 "2006-04-15T04:07:57Z")
Keira Knightley. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/49 "2006-04-16T02:22:30Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] As Temp God, what do you do? Would you heal all the sick? All in the world, at once? That wouldn’t eliminate all disease from the world, but it would ease a lot of suffering and give the medical profession a short spell of breathing space. But can you, ethically? Viruses and bacteria are God’s creatures too – are you any less responsible for their welfare than you are for the welfare of humans? [/QUOTE] I know this is the stuff everybody says you can’t do because it eliminates free will, risk and consequence. I think I’d be ethically obliged to do it, though. Those reasons would prevent me from doing it all at once, but I would allow for some accidents and circumstances that would lead to major breakthroughs in medicine, food and irrigation, and I’d slow the progress of disease. I’d consider a policy in which everybody who is going to die on my watch (but is not suffering) gets an extra 24 or 48 hours. More for their families than for them. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/50 "2006-04-16T03:16:35Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] Keira Knightley. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry, the canonical answer is “two chicks at once”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/51 "2006-04-16T03:30:51Z")
1. Twice-daily sex for all consenting adults. 2. All the underdogs win, until they are no longer considered the underdogs. 3. I find myself a solid boyfriend who adores me despite my many faults. 4. Everyone speaks two languages fluently: their native language and one universal world language. 5. Everyone can read minds on the last Friday of every month. 6. I improve our electoral system, so that candidates from **several** parties (not just two) have a fair shot at winning. 7. I outlaw commercials. 8. Rudeness, inconsideration, and self-absorption become felonies. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/52 "2006-04-16T03:33:06Z")
I notice a lot of people seem to be having trouble remember the free will restriction. Handing down a commandment telling them to do something is one thing… imposing concrete legal penalties for actions or outright changing their dispositions is another. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/53 "2006-04-16T03:35:00Z")
I haven’t sat down and worked out a full list or anything. But I imagine first of all I’d be inclined to announce that everyone will suffer as much pain as they have caused to others, and then invite everyone to watch George Bush and Tony Blair for a while. This would be deeply satisfying. I’d also have some very special and exact punishments ready for most of the so-called ‘teachers’ I had at school, and see how much _they_ enjoy time-easting sadism. Next, I think I’d tinker with the world in my God-like way so that justice and fairness are actually part of how the world works, and not just concepts listed in the dictionary. I think I’d also tinker with people’s minds just enough so that choosing to live in a kind and thoughtful and generous way was far more common than it is now, and so that people had the gift of rational thought. Then I’d wave my hand and make my Windows-based PC work properly all the time, without crashes or glitches (I know, I know, I’m being ridiculous now). ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/54 "2006-04-16T13:36:05Z")
First I’d get ahold of the that Joan Osborne chick and tell her a thing or two. 😃 Then I’d abolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/55 "2006-04-16T21:11:51Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Not Drew Carey. Jim Carrey. [/QUOTE] And yet, one never sees them both at the same parties… This is kind of a trick question. It’s really asking, " What do you think God can do in a day, and do you believe? " Kind of a Genie in bottle/three wishes arrangement. Were I a vengeful god, I’d wish painful decaying diseases on the boys who beat me up for years in school. They’d all die on the same day, and sixty seconds before they died, they’d find out why. However, most folks want god to be non-vengeful. So. I’d change the ratio between military expenditure and human resources expenditures for the next twenty years. Heal people up. Get people fed and healthy. Get some water flowin’ where the earth is dry, and so on. Of course, I’d want to know who got to be god the day before, and day after I did. That way, I’d know who to watch out for. 🙂 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/56 "2006-04-16T23:28:01Z")
[QUOTE=Large Marge] 6. I improve our electoral system, so that candidates from **several** parties (not just two) have a fair shot at winning. [/QUOTE] You don’t need to be God to do that. > **[A multiparty system is better than a two-party system!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=269169)** > > I have started, or contributed to, several GD threads about electoral reforms that would open the field in American politics to parties other than the Republicrats: “What do you think about proportional representation in the US House of Reps?” ... > **[What do you think about proportional representation in the US House of Reps?](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=261571)** > > What do you think about proportional representation in the House of Reps? Do you think this is a decent overview of how Proportional Representation can alter the pattern of two party politics? WikiWisdom Overview of Proportional Representation ... > **[Instant-runoff voting: avoiding the third-party "spoiler" problem](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=261969)** > > Since there’s a GD thread going on right now, “What do you think about proportional representation in the US House of Reps?” (http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=261571), I thought I would take this opportunity to open a debate on a... > **[Yet another electoral-system reform: "ballot fusion," or "cross-endorsement"](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=262650)** > > Right now we’ve got two threads going in GD on issues of fundamental reforms to the American electoral systems: “What do you think about proportional representation in the US House of Reps?” –... ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/57 "2006-04-17T00:01:24Z")
I think revealing myself as God would be a bit much for people. More fun, I think, would be to create an alien civilization at about the same technological development as us, and put them maybe ten or twenty light years from Earth with their radio & TV signals just now arriving here. That would shake us up a bit. They’d be close enough for us to talk to them, but far enough away we couldn’t throw bombs at each other anytime soon. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/58 "2006-04-17T01:39:25Z")
Create a world for each individual that would be the way they think the world should be. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258/59 "2006-04-17T02:42:46Z")
I’d only do two things. One is to make every person irreversibly empathic. Every time a person causes another person any sort of pain or trauma the first person feels it to the exact extent the other one does. Likewise, any amelioration of pain or causing of pleasure redounds to the causer as well. Do something horrible like pushing the button and killing a whole bunch of people means you feel every death and every bit of pain and fear of each person involved, as well as the emotional pain of their friends and families. Doubt anyone would be mentally capable of drooling out of a chosen side of his mouth after trying that trick once. Sex will become a whole lot more fun than it already is. Second thing I’d do is make it impossible to conceive a child without both parents consciously and wholeheartedly choosing to make it so. I figure everything else would work itself out after that. No free will is abridged. Don’t figure there’d be too many prayers to answer after that… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-god-for-a-few-days/352258.md?page=2)