# What would you do if you were immortal? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 3, 2012, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628 "2012-10-03T21:56:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/41 "2012-10-05T01:13:16Z")
> [@TnTangent](#): > > I would put high priority, in the first few years after attaining this form of immortality, on figuring out how to conceal it - I suppose I’d have to pretend to be a new person every few decades.. I’ve put some thought into this problem. You used to be able to pull the Frederick Forsyth “Day of the Jackal” birth certificate trick, but I think doing that now is far too risky, and might end up with you spending eternity in a black-site prison. So, my current solution would be to every thirty to forty years bribe a doctor to issue a birth certificate for an imaginary baby, then in 20 or so years you can use that birth certificate to obtain identity documents. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/42 "2012-10-05T02:58:59Z")
Same thing I’m doing with my life anyway. But for a hell of a lot longer. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/43 "2012-10-05T04:28:27Z")
Catch up on my reading. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/44 "2012-10-05T05:29:46Z")
I’d go from dreading my currently imminent demise to fearing the horror of floating around in nothingness after the sun burns out. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/45 "2012-10-05T05:45:17Z")
Probably join some secret government agency dedicated to hunting aliens…somewhere nice and peaceful, maybe in Wales. And have lots and lots of hot sex with the coffee boy. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/46 "2012-10-05T06:39:17Z")
I was unemployed this summer, and thinking about my mindset then gives me a new perspective on immortality. When you’re busy, you think “If only I had some free time, there’s so much cool stuff I"d do!” Then when you finally have all the time in the world, you think “Eh, I can do that cool stuff later, I have all the time in the world, for now, let’s see what’s on TV.” I’m kind of afraid that if I were immortal, I wouldn’t have the motivation to go exploring or anything, since I would have all this time in the future to do it. I would just keep putting it off, rationalizing to myself that I’m not wasting my time, since I have so much of it anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/47 "2012-10-05T07:08:46Z")
Interesting that you mention Tolkien for if I were immortal I would read The Silmarillion. And I would have the greatest WoW character evar! ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/48 "2012-10-05T08:21:28Z")
Look up Hob Gadling and ask for some advice. Become a diarist. Becoming ‘History’ is right around the corner for me now. I’d likely end up a curiosity. I know too many people now and I don’t want to hide from all of them; maintaining a secret like that would be impossible. OTOH, I’m convinced I _could_ hide if I wanted to, if I essentially became a migrant throughout the more unsettled parts of the Third World for large portions of my existence, and a homeless person in the periods I spend in the First World. I do expect it would gradually become more challenging to do even that, however. Look up [Keanu Reeves](http://www.keanuisimmortal.com/) and ask for some advice. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/49 "2012-10-05T09:47:49Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > Blow and hookers. > > Oh, you mean immortal, with a “t” and not immoral. > > Immortal. Immortal. Immortal. Um, blow and hookers? > > I’d have to figure out what to do for the first 60 years, and then I could start to make enough money from the infomercial that I could afford blow and hookers. > [@](#): > > Bender: Yeah, well… I’m gonna go build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the park! 🙂 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/50 "2012-10-05T10:22:54Z")
I just want to keep working and amass a secret, liquid fortune. I’ll learn a new trade every 20-30 years, relocate, get a new identity and credentials, and slowly launder in my savings into the new identity. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/51 "2012-10-05T14:44:40Z")
My worry would be that I would get pulled over for a traffic ticket. The cop would check my license, see the date of birth, and arrest me for forgery or identity theft. So I think I would join a bunch of social networks, and have my picture printed in the newspaper once a year. That way, I could have independent proof that, yes, I really am the guy in that photo, and yes, I really am that old. I’m not worried about being kidnapped and used as a lab rat. If you kidnapped me, you would have to hire guards to keep me captive. If you offered me a steady paycheck, in return for working as a lab rat, it would be much cheaper. Besides, if I was immortal, and my loved ones were mortal, I would want to find out why, and fix it. I think medical schools would compete for my services. Some people think they would get bored with immortality. I very much doubt it. Boredom is for teenagers. The older I get, the more interesting the world gets. Suppose you decided to visit every tourist attraction on Earth, starting at the North Pole, and working your way to the South Pole. By the time you got done with Johannesburg, Stockholm would have lots of new stuff in it. You would never be able to move fast enough to see everything. There would always be one more place to visit, one more person to meet, one more book to read. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/52 "2012-10-05T17:30:02Z")
> [@Yeticus\_Rex](#): > > Get a katana and practice, practice, practice. This. I’d also change majors, study, and train every day and eventually I would be so qualified, they would _have_ to let me be an astronaut. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/53 "2012-10-05T18:30:41Z")
For one thing, I’m never buying _anything_ without a Lifetime Warranty! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/54 "2012-10-05T19:52:56Z")
To whomever asked about how to finance all this adventuring: The OP describes superpowers. It’s easy to think of ways to build a nest egg with these powers in the short term in order to finance the eventual long game investments that are closed off to mortals. You could use that 5 minute healing factor to be the greatest / ballsiest stuntman ever. Or matador. Or anything else where danger and physical blows cut careers short. If you want riches faster than a paycheck allows, start a cult. Imagine the devotion you could inspire by showing your followers secret ceremonies where you slice yourself and heal in minutes through the power of their belief or some nonsense. Real cult leaders only have their silver tongues to convert idiots. You have real powers and could con millions out of people, convincing them to donate all their possessions and wealth, isolating them from family, putting them to work in your compound. When the pile’s big enough, fake your own death (and resurrection and ascension) if you like, and run off with your best whore. ---
**Author:** ![Szlater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Szlater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Szlater)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/55 "2012-10-05T20:15:48Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > If you want riches faster than a paycheck allows, start a cult. Imagine the devotion you could inspire by showing your followers secret ceremonies where you slice yourself and heal in minutes through the power of their belief or some nonsense. Real cult leaders only have their silver tongues to convert idiots. You have real powers and could con millions out of people, convincing them to donate all their possessions and wealth, isolating them from family, putting them to work in your compound. When the pile’s big enough, fake your own death (and resurrection and ascension) if you like, and run off with your best whore. Damn, that’s dark. _adds drastic\_quench to the list_ ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/56 "2012-10-05T21:19:37Z")
That’s the thing. Fighting in wars, publicly courting injury, etc, are really really stupid when you’re immortal. All they do is tell all the mad scientists “HERE I AM, CAPTURE ME AND DISECT ME FOR MY SECRETS!” Also as far as learning all this stuff, becoming a doctor, astronaut, anything high profile or requiring extreme certification: You’re going to have a helluva time providing documentation. What are you going to tell the press about where you were born, went to school, childhood friends, et al? You got nothing. When did you go to medical school? 2015 when it’s 2163? How did that work out, you fraud! Oh, to be sure, you can do the medical thing over and over. Get your MD, work for 20-30 years, disappear, do it again under a new name. But it isn’t going to be a “Become a doctor, be one for 500 years” thing. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2012, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/57 "2012-10-05T22:39:04Z")
3rd world countries would be a haven for old, rich immortals. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/58 "2012-10-06T04:29:12Z")
Interesting how many mortals see immortality as a path to riches. What they fail to realize is that greed is driven largely by the instinct for self-preservation. When self-preservation is a given, accumulating a fortune seems rather unimportant. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/59 "2012-10-06T04:49:00Z")
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks. Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do. Peter Gibbons: Good point. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2012, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-immortal/636628/60 "2012-10-06T08:37:20Z")
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