# What would you do if you woke up one morning and realized you were a pedophile? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 1, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282 "2007-06-01T00:56:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/21 "2007-06-01T14:32:27Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] if I’m not able to secure sex, I don’t go crazy and rape somebody. Is it the same with a paedophile, or does one “have” to go out and find a child when struck with the urge? Could a paedophile be around a child important to them, such as a niece or nephew, and think “I’m not touching my sisters kid, regardless” and then be able to not do it? [/QUOTE] I imagine that it’s the same as everything else - every individual is different. Just because you don’t run out & rape some one when the urge strikes, doesn’t mean the guy next door has the same impulse control. Similarly, though you may be at a bar hoping to get laid that night, I assume you wouldn’t start hitting on your sister, or your buddy’s girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/22 "2007-06-01T15:06:31Z")
Assuming this change hadn’t also warped my worldview to the extent that I felt it was OK, or didn’t care, or thought I could just get away with it, and if I thought there was the slightest risk that I would act upon my newly-discovered desires, I would seek attention from the psychiatric profession - with a view to either safe management, or to have myself restrained from doing harm. But it’s all a bit of a weird hypothetical - I mean, if it’s just a case of having weird and not-always-controllable thoughts, I’m pretty much there already (although not, I hasten to add, in the particular arena of paedophilia) - for example, one time I was walking in a museum or somewhere and I saw a heavy brass candlestick and my mind wandered as far as thinking about picking it up and smashing skulls. I would never, ever do such a thing - the very idea disgusts and frightens me - but the horrific thought did wash over me and I rejected it. ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/23 "2007-06-01T15:28:08Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Assuming this change hadn’t also warped my worldview to the extent that I felt it was OK, or didn’t care, or thought I could just get away with it, and if I thought there was the slightest risk that I would act upon my newly-discovered desires, I would seek attention from the psychiatric profession - with a view to either safe management, or to have myself restrained from doing harm. [/QUOTE] I don’t follow - if your worldview was changed to the point you felt it was OK & thought you could get away with it, what would compel you to seek attention from a psychiatrist? Are there no laws / social guidelines which you feel it’s OK to ignore & ignore, assuming you feel like you can get away with it? Something like speeding, perhaps? Are there no laws or social guidelines which you feel are misguided or flat-out wrong, yet that feeling hasn’t compelled you to seek out psyciatric counseling? I understand saying you’d refrain from acting on your urges, but not the part about going to a psychiatrist. The way I see it - If you truly thought it was OK, you might obey the law & not act on your urges out of self-preservation, but wouldn’t think of it as “doing harm”. If you thought of it as doing harm & felt you needed a shrink, you wouldn’t truly feel it was OK, you’d think something was wrong with you. If you thought of it as doing harm, but thought you could get away with it & acted on your impulse - well, you’d be something else entirely 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/24 "2007-06-01T15:35:43Z")
:smack: You said had **n’t** :smack: Sorry, move along, nothing to see here… ::grumble stupid short edit window and/or lack of reading comprehension::grumble ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/25 "2007-06-02T11:16:56Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] Or a priest. [/QUOTE] Already got that covered. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/26 "2007-06-02T11:48:46Z")
I don’t think the question makes all that much sense… I don’t wake up in the morning and think I’m heterosexual. Mostly I just want coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/27 "2007-06-02T11:49:18Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] It’d depend on whether I felt I could control it. If I weren’t at least 99% certain I could control it, I’d kill myself. [/QUOTE] Same here. If I was only _attracted_ to children, I might risk staying alive (even if it only meant I ended up as a crazed mountain man eating whatever varmints I could manage to catch), but if I was feeling an overwhelming desire to act on it…sorry, time for zombie-bite protocol time. Click, bang, no more monster. “I tooke by th’ throat the circumcised Dogge, And smoate him, thus.” ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/28 "2007-06-02T12:24:42Z")
[QUOTE=Walloon] What if you found out that your [roommate](http://offender.doc.state.wi.us/public/search/sor?action=offenderdetail&offender=37391&x=31&acknowledged=true&last_name=brown&first_name=richard&page=1&y=19&hist=%2Fsearch%2Fsearchbyname.jsp%2Baction%3Dsearchbyname) was a pedophile — and was using your Internet account to download child pornography? This happened to me. [/QUOTE] He’d fall down the stairs on the way to the police station. ---
**Author:** ![Cryptoderk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cryptoderk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptoderk)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/29 "2007-06-02T12:27:34Z")
This thread has got me thinking a bit. Presumably, paedophiles who are captured represent the tip of the iceberg: specifically, they are those that cannot contol their urges. Without any reason to think otherwise (other than it’s impossible to get laid as a paedophile - and that could be an important factor), presumably the ratio of paedophiles versus caught paedophiles is broadly similar to that of rapists versus normal people. How many paedophiles does that make? ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/30 "2007-06-02T15:09:32Z")
On CBC radio’s science show, _Quirks and Quarks_, they had one program whose theme was the study of neurology. One case they discussed was that of a man who lived a normal, law-abiding life until he became a pedophile, almost overnight. His pedophilic urges and behaviour corresponded directly with the growth of a tumour that was interfering with the part of his brain that controlled inhibitions. When the tumour was excised, he went back to being sexually “normal”, and was perfectly happy. When he started molesting again, they found that the tumour had recurred. I found it interesting that it was the “inhibition” part of his brain that was affected - is it possible that this man in particular **had** a lust for children, but was perfectly happy and satisfied not to act on it? Or is it that all people, in our animal brains, have the capacity to desire sexually immature humans? It’s been pretty much disproven that sex in other animals - especially mammals - is solely for procreation. Does anyone know if there are, for example, apes who copulate with offspring before they have reached sexual maturity? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/31 "2007-06-02T17:48:08Z")
The OP has a fatal flaw in it, a common misconception that is also impacting all the answers so far. > [@](#): > > and knowing that if you were ever to act on your sexual desires, you would {snip} seriously traumatize the child (snippage mine) Pedophiles do not believe that they are traumatizing their victims. They do not believe that they are doing anything wrong, although they are capable of acknowledging “Well, yeah, the LAW says it’s wrong, but I don’t agree” and they understand that they will be punished if/when caught. It’s part of what makes trying to treat them so _damn infuriating_, and why I simply gave up years ago. So if you suddenly woke up one morning to discover you were a pedophile, it would be no different from waking up every day so far as a (insert sexual preference of choice). All the answers in this thread are from the perspective of people who _know_ pedophilia (when acted upon) is wrong, and has lasting impact on all the people involved. But true pedophiles don’t have that world view, and wouldn’t for a second think to seek out help, or isolate themselves, or take themselves out of the equation. I dare say that the answers are biased from a cultural perspective as well, but that’s an entirely different discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/32 "2007-06-02T19:09:06Z")
That’s a sweeping generalization; some pedophiles do understand the moral wrong of sexual activity with children, and do try to prevent themselves from acting on their inclination, including to voluntarily seek psychotherapy. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282/33 "2007-06-02T19:09:29Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Side question- have any studies been done to determine if paedophilic urges are stronger than other normal sexual urges? [/QUOTE] I can’t answer that question. But as a psychologist, I do know how emotional scarring and an taught image of the self as “bad” can bring out a need, a very strong need in some people to do the most unspeakable thing they can imagine. A sort of “okay, Mom, so you told me I’m bad? Okay, I’m bad! I’ll show you how bad I really am!” A century ago, such a guy would have spit on a cross, hold a Black Mass/Orgy, or raped a nun. These days, he will download some kiddie porn. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-you-woke-up-one-morning-and-realized-you-were-a-pedophile/406282.md?page=1)