Well, except for the “without benefits” part. I could afford to get her health and life insurance, and I would certainly not allow her to work more than forty hours, or without decent amounts of vacation. (Actually, in her case I would have to be quite firm about not working too much, and taking enough time off.) Disability insurance would not be needed, since I would be paying her salary, and that would be pretty much guaranteed if she got hurt, or sick.
See, the state would have to hire a replacement for her position. She would no longer waste her time doing the stupid things the state, and her boss require of regular employees. (The rules say she would no longer be allowed to even look at the paperwork!) Her current supervisor would loose the ability to belittle her for her very happy and enthusiastic attitude toward clients. Her coworkers would no longer be able to ignore the work they are supposed to be doing, in the expectation of blaming her for the work not done. But mostly, she would be able to be joyful, and supportive of her clients without much interference from the idiots who feel threatened by her constant hard work, and positive attitude.
Did you ever know someone who was just so good, and so skilled, and so wonderful at her job that the system just couldn’t deal with it? Well, that’s her. And letting her be a volunteer instead of an employee keeps the system out of her way, and the system has to replace her, even though she isn’t gone.
Delete the part about cars, motorcycles, and the huge garage, replace with horses, ponies, and barn(s) and you’ve got my basic plan. I’d have to have enough acreage and barn space to start adopting all the abused/neglected horses I could, plus housing for my full-time barn staff. Maybe I’d rather only travel 100 days a year, so I could spend more time with my horsies.
Plus, I’d never clean anything again. No more vacuuming, laundry, dusting, cleaning toilets - any of it. I might wash the dishes every now and then. I don’t mind doing the dishes sometimes. I’d still cook. I like cooking. And I might take up some recreational gardening. But that’s it.
Oh, and give some to my family & friends - say $150,000 per person/couple. One brother would get a trust fund out of which he and his wife would be given a monthly stipend. They can’t handle money to save their lives.
Go to work everyday, early.
Stay late.
My typical reply to a request at work would be, “What are you gonna do? Fuckin fire me?” Then I would laugh like a maniac as I stood there with my hands in my pocket.
They would have to fire me…but I would have fun until they did!!!
First thing I’d do is buy a house for my family. The only criterion right now is that since my kids are 3 years and 6 months old, that it be a great place to grow up–i.e., lots of land, other kids their age nearby, near their grandparents.
Then the wife and I would buy a house for my sister-in-law, and buy an entire fucking law firm for her to deploy against her abusive, deadbeat absentee ex-husband. Oh, and I’d set up college funds for her two kids and our other niece and nephew.
If any of my friends needed money I’d make a deal with them: the same amount, like $40,000, for each of them, so I couldn’t be accused of playing favorites. In return, I’d demand one (1) valid lottery ticket for an upcoming drawing. The thinking behind this is that they would be doing the exact same thing–expend the same capital ($1), undertake the same labor (hike to the local Gas n’ Sip)–that I did to “earn” my money, and therefore any and all obligations would be considered satisfied.
Then I’d sock the rest away in investments and live off the interest. And I’d spend the rest of my life, essentially, as a student (one way or another). Maybe I’ll finally get my pilot’s license. Become fluent in Spanish. Or enroll in graduate school, in some field that offers absolutely zero career potential (my bachelor’s degree was in English, so something like that). Frankly, to me the most lavish lifestyle is one where you are constantly learning, and the less practical the knowledge the better.
Oh, and I’d also like to have a pony.
