# What would you do if your daughter did porn? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 30, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132 "2013-11-30T12:50:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/61 "2013-12-01T14:42:03Z")
In my view, it doesn’t help when one of the industry’s greatest “[success stories](http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Jenna_Jameson)” ends up (allegedly) strung out on oxy, arrested for DUI and battery, losing two homes to foreclosure, and returning to porn (for the sake of her kids) five years after quitting the business forever (for the sake of her kids). I like porn as much as the next guy, but commercial porn remains a sleazy and exploitative industry that I wouldn’t want anyone I care about being a part of. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/62 "2013-12-01T15:22:52Z")
I’m sorry but if you enjoy watching porn but you find it sleazy, terrible, and wouldn’t want anyone you care about being a part of it, then you’re kind of a hypocrit. Empathy/sympathy demands that you care about those folks even if you aren’t related to them by blood (and we are all related by blood if you go back far enough). Either you support porn, enjoy it, and support people’s right to engage in it (including your family), or you don’t. I’d be much more upset if my child became a tarot card reader, a televangelist, or a republican, and wonder where I went wrong. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/63 "2013-12-01T15:46:12Z")
Police investigations. My daughter is five. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/64 "2013-12-01T17:14:34Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I’m sorry but if you enjoy watching porn but you find it sleazy, terrible, and wouldn’t want anyone you care about being a part of it, then you’re kind of a hypocrit. i.e. human. > [@](#): > > Empathy/sympathy demands that you care about those folks even if you aren’t related to them by blood Perfectly reasonable. But caring about someone doesn’t necessarily obviate disappointment. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/65 "2013-12-01T18:19:17Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > I’m sorry but if you enjoy watching porn but you find it sleazy, terrible, and wouldn’t want anyone you care about being a part of it, then you’re kind of a hypocrit. Empathy/sympathy demands that you care about those folks even if you aren’t related to them by blood (and we are all related by blood if you go back far enough). > > Either you support porn, enjoy it, and support people’s right to engage in it (including your family), or you don’t. Fine, I’m a hypocrite. I’d also be kinda sad if a relative or close friend got a job collecting garbage, despite hypocritically putting my own trash out to the curb every week. Anyway, I prefer amateur porn. The porn studios could all disappear tomorrow for all I care. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/66 "2013-12-01T18:30:01Z")
I wonder if all of these people replying actually have daughters, anyway if your daughter enters the porn industry and you are ok with that or if you even passively accept it there is something very wrong with you and you are not a good parent. ---
**Author:** ![Qwertol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Qwertol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertol)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/67 "2013-12-01T18:49:28Z")
> [@pool](#): > > I wonder if all of these people replying actually have daughters, anyway if your daughter enters the porn industry and you are ok with that or if you even passively accept it there is something very wrong with you and you are not a good parent. Why? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/68 "2013-12-01T19:00:50Z")
Because there is nothing good about being a dehumanized prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/69 "2013-12-01T19:14:45Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Because there is nothing good about being a dehumanized prostitute. That’s not much of an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Animastryfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Animastryfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Animastryfe)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/70 "2013-12-01T19:16:53Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > How could there be a study to prove that? “Unhealthy” is a subjective value judgment. If a woman becomes a sex worker as a result of being sexually abused as a child, one could say that’s a healthy way to reclaim your sexuality or something. And I would think that was ridiculous, but obviously it’s not provable. There could be studies that find out the reasons why people go into the porn industry, and people can see whether those reasons only include ones that they think are unhealthy. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/71 "2013-12-01T19:59:57Z")
> [@pool](#): > > Because there is nothing good about being a dehumanized prostitute. That’s a self fulfilling prophecy. You’re the one dehumanising them. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/72 "2013-12-01T21:03:59Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So, your assertion that it’s impossible to prove that something is emotionally damaging, much like your assertion that porn work must be a result of emotional damage, is something you pulled directly out of your ass? No, my assertion is what I said, that you can’t prove opinions. ---
**Author:** ![James\_Toothpaste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@James\_Toothpaste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/James_Toothpaste)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/73 "2013-12-01T22:43:40Z")
> [@Mr.Accident](#): > > I’d make sure she’s doing it of her own free will, that it isn’t because she has no other options, then I’d let her be. It’s her life to live it as she wants. This. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/74 "2013-12-01T23:39:17Z")
Now I know why I haven’t been able to enjoy porn in the past few years, because they look like kids and all I can think of is their parents. I’m so old. ---
**Author:** ![Qwertol](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Qwertol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwertol)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/75 "2013-12-01T23:52:39Z")
> [@amorali](#): > > Now I know why I haven’t been able to enjoy porn in the past few years, because they look like kids and all I can think of is their parents. > I’m so old. Maybe you should try granny porn 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2013, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/76 "2013-12-01T23:57:41Z")
I do sometimes look at mature but not granny. I don’t know why but it all just seems so silly to me. Is rather read a story. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/77 "2013-12-02T00:27:44Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Miller, there is no glossing over it, because that is the MAIN IDEA people have when thinking of porn stars. Daddy issues, drug addiction, broken, emotionally fragile victim. We don’t have to point out that those things are associated with porn because that is the whole point of a thread like this. My point is that it is crazy to sat that all porn performers must be coming from an unhealthy place. I have been convinced by women in those documentaries that they are of sound mind, and emotional stability and simply don’t see sex the way most people do. Not everyone thinks that virginity is purity, casual sex is nasty or that sex is necessarily special in any way. If I don’t take these women word for it, especially the older women who have had plenty of time to get to the ‘oh I was all wrong’ stage, then I am basically stating that I don’t believe a woman has the mind to decide for herself what is good for her. I’m not saying that _all_ porn performers or other sex workers are coming from an unhealthy place. However, I do know how my daughters were brought up, and I know from talking to them as adults that they’ve internalized the ideas that sex is something very personal, that sex is “special” because it involves physically and emotionally sharing yourself with someone else, and that they value themselves enough that they wouldn’t want to sell that. They also grew up with the idea that men and women are equals and that it demeans both of them to value the sexuality of one over that of another. I realize that not everyone shares these beliefs, but I know that my own daughters do, and if they were to discard them for money, I believe that would be damaging to them. > [@monstro](#): > > \I imagine someone who’s brave enough to have sex for the entertainment of millions of people has some self-confidence and comfort with their sexuality. I hope that both of my daughters have self-confidence and comfort with their sexuality, too. I don’t think that the willingness to entertain the general public by having sex (either with them directly or on film) is necessarily the measure of how comfortable a person is with his or her sexuality. > [@Washoe](#): > > I would be far more disappointed if my daughter came home from college announcing that she was working as a telephone psychic. I would hang my head and cry for shame. But I won’t presume to know what she considers “soul-killing,” or assume that I am somehow entitled or qualified to make that evaluation for her. On the other hand, I’m not going to Google her, or if I do, I’m certainly not going to click ‘Images.’ My squick level has to have _some_ defined boundaries. I know that my children would find it soul-killing because we’ve had discussions (again, as adults) in which they’ve expressed those feelings. And I’ve never been authoritarian enough as a parent that they would feel compelled to tell me what they think I want to hear. > [@drewtwo99](#): > > \Either you support porn, enjoy it, and support people’s right to engage in it (including your family), or you don’t. > > I’d be much more upset if my child became a tarot card reader, a televangelist, or a republican, and wonder where I went wrong. I’ve never been able to really enjoy porn because somewhere in the middle, I can’t help thinking about what the performers are thinking. I have yet to see a non-amateur porn movie that looks like the people are all having the great good time they’re supposedly having. However, I support the right of anyone, as long as they’re adults and not under undue pressure, to engage in porn or prostitution. Or Republicanism, tarot card reading, or any religious activity that’s distasteful to me. That doesn’t mean I’d be happy about my daughters choosing to do it. Just to be clear, I’m not saying that I’d disown one of my children for making a choice I disagree with, however strongly. They’re mine, and I love them and support them, no matter what. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be really, really sad if they made choices that I find repugnant. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/78 "2013-12-02T00:45:26Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Please turn in your Doper card at the door. Yeah, I know, it’s not like she’s voting Republican or anything perverted like that… > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Well, that semen may look sexy now, but imagine how it will look on her face when she’s 80. +1 ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/79 "2013-12-02T01:58:09Z")
As a father of a 14 and 15 year old daughter… basically I would disown her. ---
**Author:** ![amorali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3e96dc/32.png) [@amorali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amorali)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132/80 "2013-12-02T02:20:29Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > I’m not saying that _all_ porn performers or other sex workers are coming from an unhealthy place. However, I do know how my daughters were brought up, and I know from talking to them as adults that they’ve internalized the ideas that sex is something very personal, that sex is “special” because it involves physically and emotionally sharing yourself with someone else, and that they value themselves enough that they wouldn’t want to sell that. They also grew up with the idea that men and women are equals and that it demeans both of them to value the sexuality of one over that of another. I realize that not everyone shares these beliefs, but I know that my own daughters do, and if they were to discard them for money, I believe that would be damaging to them. > > I hope that both of my daughters have self-confidence and comfort with their sexuality, too. I don’t think that the willingness to entertain the general public by having sex (either with them directly or on film) is necessarily the measure of how comfortable a person is with his or her sexuality. > > I know that my children would find it soul-killing because we’ve had discussions (again, as adults) in which they’ve expressed those feelings. And I’ve never been authoritarian enough as a parent that they would feel compelled to tell me what they think I want to hear. > > I’ve never been able to really enjoy porn because somewhere in the middle, I can’t help thinking about what the performers are thinking. I have yet to see a non-amateur porn movie that looks like the people are all having the great good time they’re supposedly having. However, I support the right of anyone, as long as they’re adults and not under undue pressure, to engage in porn or prostitution. Or Republicanism, tarot card reading, or any religious activity that’s distasteful to me. That doesn’t mean I’d be happy about my daughters choosing to do it. > > Just to be clear, I’m not saying that I’d disown one of my children for making a choice I disagree with, however strongly. They’re mine, and I love them and support them, no matter what. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be really, really sad if they made choices that I find repugnant. That and the acting is terrible, it’s usually awkward and there’s no context. Somehow when it was harder to come by it was more exciting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-would-you-do-if-your-daughter-did-porn/675132.md?page=5)